I have heard this a lot! ‘If you don’t love yourself, no one else will’.
I was with a narcissist. And that was the time when my self esteem was so low that even if he treated me like shit, I thought I deserved it and didn’t oppose much.
Then came a time when I didn’t love myself at all. I had no confidence, I felt like it’s always my fault – I mess up with everything, I could never be as amazing and as attractive as others are, I would never be successful, I can’t do anything.
I was critising myself every single time. I didn’t like myself the way I was. I could note down at least 100 things I wanted to change in me.
That was tough.
I didn’t love myself.
And now when I look back, I noticed a few things –
My friends were always there by my side, telling me how good I am at many other things.
But I didn’t believe that.
My best friend made efforts for me to take a break from this self blame game and enjoy myself.
My mom dad always made efforts to take care of me when I was stressed out.
They’d prepare my favourite food, take me somewhere I love, just to cheer me up.
They also tried to know what was bothering me and talk about possible solutions. But I didn’t tell them.
What could I possibly tell them?
I had no idea what I was doing with my life.
I really hated myself.
But people around me?
My friends cared for me and my mom dad loved me.
I couldn’t see that. I wasn’t even able to return their love, maybe coz I didn’t love myself.
Our feelings can really trick us sometimes…
When you feel lonely, doesn’t mean you ARE lonely.
When you feel stupid, doesn’t mean you ARE stupid.
When you feel you are not worthy of worthy of happiness, doesn’t mean that’s true.
Feelings just come and go.
Now looking back I just want to tell that struggling Vrunda –
Don’t give up baby. I love you. Open your eyes and see! Everyone loves you. Get away from people who make you feel like you’re nothing.
You are valuable to me.
Moral of the story –
Even when you hate yourself, look around and see. Maybe situation isn’t as worse as you think. Maybe it’s all in your head. Maybe next day you will be able to see how much others love you and value you and more than anything…. Maybe next day you will wake up and see how much you love yourself ❤️
And loving yourself is good… Actually it’s a need. It’s necessary.
But not a criteria to be fulfilled to be loved by others.