Do you really think if you don’t love yourself, no one else will love you?

I have heard this a lot! ‘If you don’t love yourself, no one else will’.

Really?

I was with a narcissist. And that was the time when my self esteem was so low that even if he treated me like shit, I thought I deserved it and didn’t oppose much.

Then came a time when I didn’t love myself at all. I had no confidence, I felt like it’s always my fault – I mess up with everything, I could never be as amazing and as attractive as others are, I would never be successful, I can’t do anything.

I was critising myself every single time. I didn’t like myself the way I was. I could note down at least 100 things I wanted to change in me.

That was tough.

And stressful.

I didn’t love myself.

And now when I look back, I noticed a few things –

My friends were always there by my side, telling me how good I am at many other things.

But I didn’t believe that.

My best friend made efforts for me to take a break from this self blame game and enjoy myself.

My mom dad always made efforts to take care of me when I was stressed out.

They’d prepare my favourite food, take me somewhere I love, just to cheer me up.

They also tried to know what was bothering me and talk about possible solutions. But I didn’t tell them.

What could I possibly tell them?

I had no idea what I was doing with my life.

I really hated myself.

But people around me?

They didn’t.

My friends cared for me and my mom dad loved me.

I couldn’t see that. I wasn’t even able to return their love, maybe coz I didn’t love myself.

Our feelings can really trick us sometimes…

When you feel lonely, doesn’t mean you ARE lonely.

When you feel stupid, doesn’t mean you ARE stupid.

When you feel you are not worthy of worthy of happiness, doesn’t mean that’s true.

Feelings just come and go.

Now looking back I just want to tell that struggling Vrunda –

Don’t give up baby. I love you. Open your eyes and see! Everyone loves you. Get away from people who make you feel like you’re nothing.

You are valuable to me.

Moral of the story

Even when you hate yourself, look around and see. Maybe situation isn’t as worse as you think. Maybe it’s all in your head. Maybe next day you will be able to see how much others love you and value you and more than anything…. Maybe next day you will wake up and see how much you love yourself ❤️


And loving yourself is good… Actually it’s a need. It’s necessary.

But not a criteria to be fulfilled to be loved by others.

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52 thoughts on “Do you really think if you don’t love yourself, no one else will love you?

Add yours

  1. Well said! I think it’s harmful to tell people that they aren’t deserving of love/ respect etc just because they lack it within themselves. Glad this has been pointed out 💕

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my goodness! I just wanna say don’t give up baby your didi is also here🌸😇💕 My dear lovely sister. You’re so touching. You’re words are magical. You’re my Inspiration. You gave me so many inspirations and still doing that for me… I love you and your thoughts my sweet heart 💕❤😊🌸

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Very well said dear Vrunda 😊❤ our loving parents, siblings, friends etc. are real blessings. When a hard time come in our lives and we feel lonely and forget our cheerfulness, it’s them who light us up 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi Vrunda,
    Loved your article! I had been in the same phase, and now when air is a bit breezey, I realized, my whole family and friends were there all the time for me. It is just the negativity inside us refuses to see their love and care and efforts.

    Liked by 4 people

  5. Thank you for talking about such a vulnerable topic. I understand you when you say you have hated yourself. I’ve been there, too. I think love is so close to hate. If we can take a few steps, we can see how much we love ourselves and truly want to have a connection.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. True. When the person with you constantly shows you how superior he is and how inferior you are, it’s hard to love yourself… I am happy you understand. Thank you for your kind words my friend! Means a lot!❤😊

      Liked by 1 person

  6. This was SO my life! Right down to the relationship with a narcissist. Whoa
    I’m glad you’re over that. You sound so much more braver…is that a word?🤔 it is now.
    Good wisdom you’ve shared here my friend.

    Liked by 3 people

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