You haven’t understood a woman’s life.. the heartbreak at the core of her joys, her unexpected alliances and desires, her negotiations where, in the hope of keeping one treasure safe.. she must give up another
– from the book Forest of Enchantments by Chitra Banerjee
I have noticed one thing.
Every time I feel sad, lonely, gloomy
There this one thing that cheers me up like nothing
And those effects last longer
No not music… I mean it’s good… But when I’m actually pissed off I don’t really feel like listening to music because in my mind overthinking and overanalyzing is going on…
It does actually, it helps me escape the dreadful reality that’s in front of me…
But that’s just an escape (I do feel more calm and stable after reading though)
But there is one more thing
Love expressed through the verbal assurance (i love you) and indirectly (genuine caring, supportive conversations) and through actions (doing something beautiful for me)
I was feeling very low the other day
And I had a very meaningful, nice chat with my best friend
She listened to me, understood me and made me feel much better
That uplifted my mood, calmed me down and gave me the strength to get back up again
This incident made me reflect, every single time I’ve felt low or sad or been really stressed
All it took to cheer me up was kind words, genuine support, encouraging smile, warm hug, relaxing good time spent with people I love
Isn’t this what we all need to get back up, even more stronger this time?
What works the best for you?
Any Miraculous fans here?
Well, count me in too!
Yesterday my sister was sooooo excited for the Miraculous New York special episode.
“Did you charge the laptop?”
“Is the net working properly?”
“I need to get some snacks for the show!”
She was running through the house managing all this stuff.
Now lemme tell you – I was not really a die-hard fan of Miraculous.
Yes, I said was
Because after yesterday’s episode, I can’t get it out of mind….
And I am eagerly waiting for season 4.
I must say, before this episode my sister got me excited by showing me all the memes from Pinterest, comics on Pinterest.
I was like “woah! Easy girl”
But tbh I did like all the memes…
Especially the one that said –
Everyone knows everyone’s identities….. Except those two idiots!
So yesterday, we planned everything.
We set up laptop, snacks, cold drinks, lights and cozy environment.
We basically had a mini party with Miraculous team.
And I must say, it was all worth it.
Super cool animation, wonderful super powers and Majestia!
Omg! She was sooooo cool!
All the superheroes were.
And they found a new miraculous there
I haven’t really watched a lot of stuff about superheros (except miraculous of course) So I didn’t knew what to expect really
But this was a good start.
What I like the most about this show is – that most superheros here are women!
I was like – yeah, now we’re talking… 😉
So overall it was a funnn time together
P.S – If you want to watch the episode and you’re not in U.S or France, check out @wayzzworld on Instagram.
Will you be happy after winning a lottery?
Let me rephrase
How long do you think you will be happy after winning lottery of 5 million dollars?
Maybe you need it a lot
And you think you will be happy forever…
At least for many years…
Research was done on lottery winners to see how long their happiness lasted.
To their surprise and opposite of what they predicted,
They returned to their baseline level of happiness within six months or a year.
It means they eventually became as happy as they were before winning the lottery.
This sounds surprising, doesn’t it?
But it is true.
Now we all think we will have different experience if we win a lottery.
(we think – I know mostly people don’t sustain happiness for long term, but I know I will. I will make some strategic moves… And my life will be different! Changed for the better……)
So let’s take a simple example –
Remember the last time you bought something that you thought will make you sooooooo happy!
For me it will be buying Mickey’s Tee shirt and some cute Disney accessories (kidding! Not!)
Remember the time you bought something you really wanted to have… Since long time… (no, not a puppy)
You felt happy for maybe like one month or so…
What happens after that?
You don’t feel the same level of happiness after some time
Maybe after some days, you don’t even look at the thing you brought….
Why is that?
Because of what we call in psychology – Hedonic Adaptation
It means that you adapt eventually to new circumstances in your life
And they don’t excite you that much after a point of time
If we think it like this..
Should we really have goals? And work
our ass off so hard for goals that won’t even contribute to our happiness after some point?
Actually, we should.
Not for the end result, but for the joy and happiness we feel while striving towards those goals.
That’s why they say – Enjoy the journey!
You will be happy when you reach the destination
(Maybe that happiness will also fade quickly, but enjoying the process will make you feel satisfied and fulfilled)
And research also suggests that when you experience joy along the journey towards your goals, your well-being increases.
When will you be happy?
Think about it….
Maybe you’d come up with something like – when I get a nice job, when my boyfriend stops fighting with me, when my book gets published, when…..
Can you be happy right now?
Umm… Idk maybe…
What can make you happy right now?
Hahaha… I know you were thinking something similar….
Or maybe a dog
Or maybe cat
Or maybe your best friend
Yesterday I talked to my friend and she said there is so much trouble going on right now…
I’d be so happy if this all just ends..
And I thought about it…
Do good things really happen when bad things stop happening?
She was right at her place… When everything around you
sucks hurts, you might feel like things will be much better and you would be happier without all this
But are you really happy when bad things stop happening?
You won’t have a pizza if you are not eating vegetables
You might have something else!
What I mean is, we focus too much to making the bad stuff around us go away….
We try to make things right
And that’s okay!
But we’re under illusion that this will make us happy
We might feel relief… That okay… Thankfully this is over
But are you really happy?
You need some different activities to make you smile…
As Martin Seligman once said that his patients came to him saying ‘I just want to be happy’ what he translated was that ‘you don’t want to feel distressed’ and then after working on the patients anxiety or depression issues, he thought he will get a happy patient… But he didn’t. he got an ’empty patient’. That’s when he said you cannot have mental health and wellbeing just by eliminating depression and mental illness, you need different activities to build wellbeing.
Just because it isn’t raining doesn’t mean there is sunshine
You can work on this…
Think about what really makes you happy and do more of that in your daily life
Take a little break from fixing everything n just be… Create your happiness…
Especially during these challenging times… That’s what you need to do the most 🌼💖🌻
But maybe being happy is not your priority right now… Maybe it’s caring for your friend or family member who is struggling. And that is okay, you can take some time to recharge yourself by listening to your favourite song, reading a paragraph from your favourite book or talking with your sister, just do it. Take a little time for yourself too, that way you have more to give others… When your cup is full, then you can fill others💗💕