Do you believe when people show you their real self?

When people show you who they really are, believe them the first time.

– Maya Angelo

Wow. What a quote! It might not strike as a significant one in first glance or might seem like really obvious.

But there is a deep meaning to it.

Do we really pay attention when people show us who they really are?

Do we really pay attention to all the cues? To the intuitions that we get when we meet someone?

Many a times we don’t pay attention. Thinking “everyone is actually good”

But no. Some people are not. In fact they can be so poisonous that you end up regretting every single moment with them. You end up regretting not listening to your intuition. You end up regretting not believing them when they showed you who they truly are.

Let’s say you are really attracted to this guy. You get in relationship with him. You both like each other and everything is going well. But on the first date he tells you, he doesn’t like other guys staring at you. You brush it off as him being protective and continue the relationship. Then one day he sees you smiling at your cell phone screen and asks you who are you talking to, you say it’s your friend at work. And he just snatches the phone out of your hand and asks you to show him your chats. You explain that you’re not cheating on him and that you are just his friend. He is stubborn. So you give in. You show him your phone and he clears his doubts and he gives you phone back with a warning to stay away from guys. You feel really weird and get a intuition that you should get away from him. But you ignore that, because you love him. Then after a few months your colleague drops you off at night in his car after a office party. When he comes to know this, he takes out all his anger on you. He beats you, tells you why didn’t you listen when he warned you the first time……

That’s right…

He gave you hint

He showed you in little ways who he really was…

You failed to listen

I am of course not blaming you or any person who goes through this, I just want to warn you people to pay attention. Notice the details.

Not everything might be serious. They might say some things as a joke. Like real fun.

But notice the patters… They really are something.

We don’t observe because we are under illusion that this person is nice… Because we’re attracted to them.

Don’t decide anything

Let them show you how they are…

Nice,kind,arrogant,moody,impulsive, let them show you. Through their actions.

When someone tells you they are impulsive, stubborn, they don’t like certain things, they behave in certain way, believe them! (Also the actions) They know more about themselves than you do.

When you don’t listen to your intuition, its whisper gets louder and louder until you are forced to deal with the situation.

I have been through this. I had to pay the price of not paying attention when people showed me their real self.

You get to choose people you spend time with. Make the best possible use of that choice and only choose the people who are good for you emotionally, mentally, spirituality.

---

These are two wonderful podcasts episodes about this from Supersoul Conversations hosted by Oparh.

Best life-saving lessons

Best relationship advice

Advertisements

Body positivity

Today I asked my body what she needed,

Which is a big deal

Considering my journey of

Not Really Asking That Much

I thought she might need more water

Or proteins. Or greens. Or supplements. Or yoga. Or movement.

But as I stood in the shower

Reflecting on her stretch marks

Her roundness where I would like flatness,

Her softness where I would like firmness,

All those conditioned wishes

That form a bunch of

Never-Quite-Right-Ness

She whispered very gently –

“Can you just loved me like this?”

– Hollie Holden

No matter what your body looks like – whether it’s big, small, dark, fair, I am here to tell you, you are beautiful.

And I’m not saying this just to be nice or that’s the right thing to say.. I’m saying this because it’s a fact, it’s the truth.

I struggled with body image issues (I still do at times). There was a time when I hated my body and I would have been ready to exchange it with anyone who I think is better than me.

But now I don’t.

You know why? because I’ve learnt to love my body as it is. I don’t want to change a single thing about it.

I have realised that when you look at yourself in the mirror with a frown, you really look miserable. But when you see yourself in the mirror and smile, even the person looking at you smiles and suddenly seems more attractive.

You don’t need to be so harsh on yourself, you don’t see yourself every time. You don’t know how beautiful you look when you talk about your passion, you don’t know how beautiful you look when you see your crush smiling back at you, you don’t know how beautiful you look when you are talking kindly to someone.

And people notice that!

Don’t be in a sad mood because your dress is tight or you got pimples or you are tanned or something silly like that.

Just decide you are going to have fun wherever you go, no matter how you look like. You are going to talk to people and not care what they think about you.

And believe me, when you truly, deeply feel comfortable in your own skin, you glow. This is a different type of glow that you cannot fake with all the cosmetics and surgeries.

People love to be around that sunshine, that glow. They love the positivity, optimism, humour that you bring to the table.

Just wake up today and decide you are going to love your body and take care of it and you’ll be surprised to see how your life gets better.

And remember, your body is not a show piece for people to judge, it’s a instrument through which you are able to experience the world around you.

If a guy doesn’t like you physically? You don’t care! You haven’t been given a life sentence to spend the rest of your life with him. You have the choice right? Make your decision and stay away from people who constantly criticise your body.

---

This post is mainly addressed to girls as I have seen many of them struggle with body image issue (I know it’s not gender specific). But I want you girls to know that –

Even the girl in the magazine doesn’t look like the girl in the magazine.

So stop comparing your real life to what people show on Instagram. That might just be the tip of the iceberg…. Value what you have while you have it.

.

I am scared of you making me happy. I am afraid that in such short time that you are making me so happy, I’ll get used to it. That eventually I’ll stop making myself happy. I don’t want to wake up one day and realise I was so used to your pampering, your care, your love, that you somehow became so important to me that now when you are not here, I can’t do anything on my own. I can’t be happy. I know you won’t stay. At least not forever. When you are gone how will I get over from receiving so much of love and attention to absolutely nothing?

Maybe what they say is true. Maybe I don’t need to give so quickly. Maybe I need to stop loving passionately. But I don’t know how to love without passion. So maybe I shouldn’t love you. Maybe I need to be careful with you, but sometimes I can’t.

Yes, I need breaks from you. To remind myself that I have a different life. To remind myself that you won’t stay forever. To nourish the relationship I have with myself. To realise I am happy even without you.…