Anjali-Rahul obsession

hum ek baar jeete hain, ek baar marte hain, shaadi bhi ek baar hoti hain… aur pyaar bhi ek hi baar hota hain 🥺❤️

And I am deeply in love with Rahul and Anjali ❤️❤️❤️❤️

They are undoubtedly the cutest onscreen couple I’ve ever seen.. and I’d die to recreate many scenes from their movies in my own life.I remember having crush on Shahrukh Khan early on in my life. He was my first crush. My mom tells me even as a little girl I used to jump with joy watching Sharukh on TV. I enjoyed watching his songs and later his movies.Yeah I know life is not a Karan Johar movie… But I cannot resist appreciating the beauty shown in those movies ❤️

I still remember that “tussi bade majakiya ho” scene from kabhi khusi kabhi gam.. and I loveeee Kajol’s acting. She’s undoubtedly the sweetest! And the way Shahrukh says many things just by the look in his eyes… makes my heart melt. Every. Single. Time.

Dosti ke alava bhi kuch rishtey hote hai … kuch rishtey joh hum samajhte nahi … kuch rishtey joh hum samajhna nahi chahte … kuch rishtey jinka koi naam nahi hota, sirf ehsaas hota hai … kuch rishtey jinki koi deewar nahi hoti, sarhad nahi hoti … aaise rishtey joh dil ke rishtey hote hai, pyar ke rishtey hote hai, mohabbat ke rishtey hote hai

“Hayyyee!! The way Shahrukh says this to Kajol, looking into her eyes.. ❤️

Rahul and Anjali from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai are justttt adorable. It shows the transition of friendship to love (which happens almost always) but how the situations turn out to be and they get seperated.

“tum paas aaye.. yun muskuraye.. tumne na jane kya sapne dikhaye… Ab toh mera dil.. jaage Na sota hain.. kya karu haaye.. kuch kuch hota hain”

I still feel nostalgic whenever I hear this song.

When I watch those movies now I literally react as if I am standing there in front of them and I just want to tell what’s going to happen and pass comments like you do while watching cricket match. And on some scenes I do react as if I’m Kajol and SRK is saying those lines to me… Sounds cheesy I knowww.. But for those who don’t like this cheesy stuff – kuch kuch hota hain.. tum nahi samjhoge 😌

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I know movies are lot like fantasies and things are not so perfect in reality. But that’s okay, I don’t have unrealistic expectations from my life and I understand situations get complicated. But whenever I watch those movies I like to loose myself in their world and escape reality for a while…..So we can say this is just a harmless genuine obsession!

Questions you need to ask yourself before criticising

There is no such thing as constructive criticism.

– Dale Carnegie

I agree 100% with Dale Carnegie.

There is no such thing as constructive criticism.

I’ve been criticised many times in my life. And I don’t remember one single criticism being “constructive”.

When someone criticises me I have (now) developed the habit to try to understand what exactly they want to say. But to be honest, I still hate the way they say it.

One friend of mine used to criticise me. Frequently.

After constantly hearing that – I felt like I could do nothing. I am good at nothing. I started overthinking her criticism. As she was a close friend of mine, it was hard for me to just let go of her opinions about me.

I don’t remember that criticism having any good impact on me.

In college however, my new friend believed in encouraging me. I remember making mistakes and she telling me how to get better without criticising.

I felt so good in her company. I enjoyed being with her more and I finally started working on myself.

And it just happened naturally, I mean if someone is caring so much for you, encouraging you, being kind to you, it’s hard not to improve.

Abilities wither under criticism, they blossom under encouragement.

– Dale Carnegie

If you take a closer look at your life, tell me how many times were you actually improved because someone criticised you?

Remember that time when someone criticised you? Think about how you felt.

I think we should let go of the prospect of “constructive criticism” and stop criticising at all.

Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness.

– Dale Carnegie

Let’s take a example –

You want your friend to bake a cake for you.

What would you do?

Would you shout at him for him being lazy all day and tell him to bake cake?

Or will you

Tell him that you’d be really happy if he could bake the cake for you, or that he bakes the best cakes in the town? (not flattery but genuine appreciation and encouragement)

Will you encourage the person to do so? Or criticise him?

The person is more likely to agree when encouraged.

Now put yourself in his shoes and think how would you like to be addressed.

I don’t doubt you would like to be encouraged.

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Criticism – The expression of disapproval of something or someone on the basis of perceived faults or mistakes (From – dictionary)

If this criticism, I don’t think how can this be uplifting or positive or “constructive”😂

If you don’t like something, it’s always nice to tell the concerned person in a good and kind manner. Willingness to understand their perspective and look for a solution together is what brings actual results.

Otherwise you are just being rude and insensitive and calling your talk “constructive criticism”. You are wasting your time being rude and harsh and hurting the other person and spreading a whole lot of negativity.

If you want to add suggestions of how to improve – Then they should sound and feel like suggestions.

Praise is like sunlight to the warm human spirit; we cannot flower and grow without it. And yet, while most of us are only too ready to apply to others the cold wind of criticism, we are somehow reluctant to give our fellow the warm sunshine of praise.

– Dale Carnegie

It always surprises me that the people who come to criticise you.. never… never ever come to appreciate you.

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do. But it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.

– Dale Carnegie

Let’s stop criticising others (and yourself) and start understanding them. (and yourself).

Because you don’t ‘win friends and influence people through criticism’. You do so by understanding and being kind.

Next time you’re about to criticise someone, ask yourself these questions –

1. What right do I have to criticise this person?
2. Can I state my opinion in a more kind way?
3. Have I walked in this person’s shoes?
4. Do I know what it feels like to be in their position?
5. Have I done it better in my own life?
6. Has anyone asked my opinion? Is it the right time to say this?
7. Can I be more understanding?
8. Am I spreading hate about someone I don’t even know?

Disclaimer – Be completely honest to yourself while answering these questions.

If you get satisfactory answers after asking this to yourself and still think/feel that criticising is the right thing to do –

Go-ahead and do it (at your own risk!)

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These were my honest views about criticism. I’m not against saying what you feel or giving suggestions – it does help people to improve. But I believe you can do that in a kind and understanding way. Without criticising.

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To be honest I haven’t received any criticism on this blog yet. I am so happy and blessed to have all of you who constantly encourage me and are kind to me.

You guys encourage me to keep doing what I do and get better at it.

I appreciate every single one of you.

A big ‘THANK-YOU!!‘

Sending love and hugs to you❤️

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Happiness in little things

Worst day ever

Today was absolute worst day ever

And don’t try to convince me that

There’s something good in every day

Because when you take a closer look

This world is a pretty evil place.

Even if

Some goodness does shine through once in a while

Satisfaction and happiness don’t last.

And it’s not true that

It’s all in the mind and heart

Because

True happiness can be obtained

Only if one’s surroundings are good

It’s not true that good exists

I’m sure you can agree that

The reality

Creates

My attitude

It’s all beyond my control

And you’ll never in a million years hear me say that

Today was a good day

*Now read from bottom to the top

-Chanie Gorkin

It’s always amazing to see the wonderful magic words can create.

The complete meaning of the poem changes when you read from bottom to top.

That’s just all about life.

It’s not about where you look, it’s about what you choose to see.

Even if in your whole day you did nothing good but came home and met your mom and ate the food she prepared, guess what?

You’re blessed!

If you really go on looking for good things in life, you will find millions of things! We really don’t pay that much attention to good things.

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Berné Brown is a psychologist. She did 12 years of research in psychology. She interviewed people who have been through horrific things, loss of children, violence, trauma. And she asked them what was the hardest loss?

And they never talked about the extraordinary things, they said I miss the ordinary moments. Like “I miss hearing the door slam and know my husband’s home from work, I miss my kids fighting in the backyard, I miss the way my wife set the table”

These are the moments which are right in front of our eyes everyday.

Why not stop and say – “Thank God, I’m grateful for this”

It’s the heartfelt gratitude that brings joy and it’s that joy that brings happiness.

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You cannot win competitions everyday to be happy, you cannot throw parties everyday to be happy, you cannot wait for this amazing new thing to happen in order to be happy.

You have happiness and joy right in front of you, just open your eyes and see!

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Simple recipe for happiness –

Step 1 – List down the things that being you joy. It can be little things. Like – playing guitar, dancing to Taylor Swift’s songs, baking a cake, drawing something, listening music, cuddling in a warm blanket and reading your favourite book….

Do as many things today as you can from that list.

Step 2 – Do something good for others. Like – bring flowers for your mom, help your dad with work, give chocolates to your younger brother or sister, make plans to spend time with your friends…

These small things bring immense joy and happiness

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Happiness is little things

Happiness is little things,

A book, a cup of tea,

A card or letter in the mail,

Especially for me.

To see a rosebush in full bloom,
Be warmed by glowing sun;
To snuggle in a cozy bed
When the day is done.

A good night’s rest, a brand new day,
The warmth of friendly hand;
A note, a smile, a touch, a hug,
Someone to understand.

Days of hope and hours of love,
Savoring each minute;
Happiness is in your heart
If thankfulness is in it.

– Viola Jacobson Berg

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I saw a video yesterday in which, Taylor Swift was saying this in her concert –

You need to look into the mirror in the morning and not tell yourself that you’re not good enough.

Here are the things you are actually not –
• You are not the opinion of somebody who doesn’t know you
• You are not damaged goods just because you’ve made mistakes in your life.
• You are not going nowhere just because you haven’t gotten where you want to go, yet.

Now I want to tell you things you really are –
• You are your own definition of beautiful and worthwhile.
• You are someone who’s wiser because you’ve made mistakes. Not damaged, wiser
• You are somebody who is going through stressful times and still has the ability to go on with things.

It’s not about perfection.
Sometimes it’s just about going on with things. Sometimes you get just get credit for getting up and going on with things.

– Taylor Swift

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Wishing you all a cheerful International Happiness Day!!

Hope you guys have a beautiful and blessed day ahead! 💖🌈💖

And don’t forget to smile! 😊

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The real “secret” about Law of Attraction

Let me begin by sharing what actually the law of attraction means –

Law of attraction is the belief that positive or negative thoughts bring about positive or negative experiences into a person’s life.

Many people try to manifest everything they want into their lives by using this law.

Some of them think you should just have positive thoughts and think about everything you want as if you already have it and it will be granted.

But is just thinking about it enough?

Picture this –

You are really hungry. You want to eat pizza at night. You are imagining you have pizza, with lots of cheese, it’s all yours, you are taking the first bite, then the second… You are so happy!

Can just thinking this way fill your belly?

No.

So what do you do?

You at least have to get up from your couch and pick up the phone and order pizza!

Right?

Is just “thinking about it enough?”

One more thing – Law of attraction asks you to truly believe in what you want. It asks you to completely believe it’s yours. You have it.

So for example –

Let’s say you want a promotion next month.

You are more likely to believe that you will have it when you’re actually working hard and making progress.

You won’t believe you’ll have promotion if you were on leave for 10 days last month.

You are more likely to believe in your wish and attract stuff when you are actually working towards it.

Just believing without doing something is like saying –

“I know I have built a finance firm, it’s a great company and I am the CEO…..”

Without knowing a single thing about running a big company.

Use your logic at times my friends.

I don’t have anything against Law of attraction. I think it’s great. It really works. But you have to move along with your vibes.

I think actions and beliefs go hand in hand. The better you act, the stronger is your belief that you will have it. And the stronger your belief, the better you will act.

For example –

You say – “Taylor Swift is the best pop singer in the world! She’s so amazing, I love her….. (your belief)

But I don’t listen to her songs” (your action)

Such contradiction won’t happen right?😄

This is something I’ve learnt about the law of attraction.

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Moral of the story – Don’t use Law of attraction as an excuse to avoid work. You have to put your work where your mouth is.

And I say this again

(this is the real secret) –

The stronger you believe in your dreams, the harder you will work.

That’s just something I’ve seen in my life.

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Hope this was helpful guys!

It’s just my perspective about this topic. Yours may be different and that’s okay.

I’d love to hear your views on this topic.

Thank you for being here!❤️

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Note to self – 3 (healthy perspective)

There are so many ways to look at things. In fact there are many many different perspectives about one single thing.

Sometimes we don’t know the truth or we partially know the truth and we assume the rest.

For example –
You didn’t get selected in a interview.

There can be many reasons!

What do you tell yourself?

What are your thoughts?

“I’m not good enough.. I don’t have the necessary skills… I don’t think I’ll ever get the job”

Now these can be your immediate thoughts… I get it. 90% people might have this as their first response

But problem arises when you stick to those thoughts for… days, months or even years!

Can you imagine? You let that one single failure, one problem, one thought define your entire life.

You need to ask yourself –

Will thinking in this way help me?

Here’s “the story” you need to tell yourself –

Dear me,

I think you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. There are so many other ways to look at this.

I realise this is not the end of the world. I have many chances ahead of me. I won’t give up.

I’m just getting started. I might face some difficulties but I need to keep going and hope for the best.

I believe it’s me who has the power to choose my perspective. I choose the optimistic perspective. It may or may not turn out well, but its much better than having pessimist attitude and giving up.

By looking at the bright side I will at least get the motivation to keep going. Which I need the most right now.

And who knows…
Some problems are a blessing in disguise! 😉

You are blessed honey!

With love,
Me

One simple thing you can do right now to improve your life

Believe it or not, the company you keep matters. A lot.

If you’re constantly surrounded by pessimistic people, guess what, after a while even you start imitating them. This happens, unless you try very very hard to stay optimistic because negative behaviours can be learnt quickly.

There’s this concept of mirroring in psychology.

Where you learn or imitate the behaviour of people around you knowingly or unknowingly.

How can you use this to your advantage?

Well, it’s simple!

Be in company of people who inspire you, who support your growth and who guide you in the right direction, who trust you and bring out the best in you.

Now as they say –

You’re the average of five people you spend most of your time with

I’ll tell you which of the five people you should surround yourself with –

1. Be with people around whom you feel loved and valued.

This can be your parents, or your friends or your partner. Anyone with whom you feel loved and valued.

2. Be with someone who makes you laugh and enjoy little things. Someone who makes you smile and appreciates you.

This can be your sibling or your best friend.

3. Be with someone who trusts you and whom you can trust. No matter what, you know you guys have got each other’s back.

(Now speaking of these qualities, you might know at least one person with whom these qualities resonate. Someone who makes you smile, some other person whom you can trust completely, someone else who makes you feel loved, etc.)

4. Be with someone who inspires you and motivates you and brings out the best in you.

Okay so this person can be hard to find.

But let me tell you, it’s not necessary that these people should be someone you know personally or have met them. They can also be your role models.

Someone you look up to. Someone who you want to be like. Someone you deeply admire.

Now even if you surround yourself with the ideas, the principles, the values these people have implemented in their life, it works. You slowly start thinking like them, you try to imitate their principles in your own life.

And believe me, that improves your life!

Imagine you’re constantly watching everything about Oprah Winfrey, Swami Vivekananda, or Gary Vee (let’s say they are your role models) So you are watching many videos of them on YouTube, you’re watching their shows. You are reading about them, reading their books.

What will happen after some time?

Your thinking patterns will change, your attitude changes, your perception about things change, you start acting differently, you start growing.

5. Be with someone who can guide you in the right direction in difficult times.

This can be your “therapist” friend, a mentor or a actual therapist. Someone who helps you gain clarity about situations and helps you take the right decision.

I don’t know how many people will agree with me, but I’ve found books to guide me as well. Self help books and even some fantasy novels have great messages. I could relate to those characters and understand their life.

These people help you understand certain things, especially when you need it the most.

Be careful about whom you choose as this person because when you are sad, depressed or angry, it’s very easy for a wrong person to drag you into a wrong behaviour.

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I have found this to work in my personal life.

The moment I started focusing on myself and setting healthy boundaries and surrounding myself with people who bring out the best in me, I’ve seen myself change in a very good way.

When I started reading more about inspiring people, gathering more information about them and started applying their tips for success, I felt great!

I felt like I’m learning from them and slowly applying that in my own life and seeing the results.

I also started choosing whom to spend most of my time with and I found I was much happier and satisfied with my life than before.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not telling you to be picky and only choose the people whom you can benefit from, no! It’s good to have connection with different people, it’s nice to have them as your friends.

But, prioritise your time for those who really help you grow, who really matter. Because you have limited time.

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Moral of the story – The company you keep matters. Choose the right people and see the drastic and quick improvement in your life.

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Who are your role models? Do you “spend” more time with them? Do you feel the change in your mindset and actions?

Let me know in the comments below!!

Thank you for reading guys!❤️

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Keep shining, keep smiling! 🙂

©Vrunda Chauk 2019

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Do you really think if you don’t love yourself, no one else will love you?

I have heard this a lot! ‘If you don’t love yourself, no one else will’.

Really?

I was with a narcissist. And that was the time when my self esteem was so low that even if he treated me like shit, I thought I deserved it and didn’t oppose much.

Then came a time when I didn’t love myself at all. I had no confidence, I felt like it’s always my fault – I mess up with everything, I could never be as amazing and as attractive as others are, I would never be successful, I can’t do anything.

I was critising myself every single time. I didn’t like myself the way I was. I could note down at least 100 things I wanted to change in me.

That was tough.

And stressful.

I didn’t love myself.

And now when I look back, I noticed a few things –

My friends were always there by my side, telling me how good I am at many other things.

But I didn’t believe that.

My best friend made efforts for me to take a break from this self blame game and enjoy myself.

My mom dad always made efforts to take care of me when I was stressed out.

They’d prepare my favourite food, take me somewhere I love, just to cheer me up.

They also tried to know what was bothering me and talk about possible solutions. But I didn’t tell them.

What could I possibly tell them?

I had no idea what I was doing with my life.

I really hated myself.

But people around me?

They didn’t.

My friends cared for me and my mom dad loved me.

I couldn’t see that. I wasn’t even able to return their love, maybe coz I didn’t love myself.

Our feelings can really trick us sometimes…

When you feel lonely, doesn’t mean you ARE lonely.

When you feel stupid, doesn’t mean you ARE stupid.

When you feel you are not worthy of worthy of happiness, doesn’t mean that’s true.

Feelings just come and go.

Now looking back I just want to tell that struggling Vrunda –

Don’t give up baby. I love you. Open your eyes and see! Everyone loves you. Get away from people who make you feel like you’re nothing.

You are valuable to me.

Moral of the story –

Even when you hate yourself, look around and see. Maybe situation isn’t as worse as you think. Maybe it’s all in your head. Maybe next day you will be able to see how much others love you and value you and more than anything…. Maybe next day you will wake up and see how much you love yourself ❤️

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And loving yourself is good… Actually it’s a need. It’s necessary.

But not a criteria to be fulfilled to be loved by others.

Note to self – 2 (Appreciation of little things)

Cute good morning texts..

Bunking lectures for watching movies…

Laughing at silly jokes during class…

I remember missing those little things my friend used to do for me when she left the city for higher education.

I realise these little things really matter a lot.

It is when you loose them, you start missing them.

We need to ask ourselves –

Am I taking anything for granted?

Look around… You’re life might be more beautiful than you think…

Here’s something you can tell yourself –

Dear me,

I realise there are so many happy memories in my life. Not something grand like – winning some competition, or being on a vacation abroad.

But little moments of care and connection. Moments of laughter and joy. Moments of grief and support.

This is something I will remember and cherish for lifetime.

I am making a point to appreciate people’s kind gestures more. And spend more time with them enjoying little moments.

I am blessed for everything I have. I will cherish this feeling of having everything I need.

Stay blessed!

Love,

Me

Note to self – 1 (Valuing Time)

Many a times there are situations when I realise I don’t have enough time to do something important. (That’s because I wasted the time I had doing unimportant things 😜)

When I realise I’ve been using my time for pleasure and ignoring the important tasks at hand, I realise –

Here’s a question I need to ask myself –

Am I using my time wisely?

Here’s what I’d like to tell myself :-

Dear self,

I need to be more careful about how I spend my time.

I will make sure in a day I have enough time to spend with my close ones and have enough time to complete my important work.

I choose to spend my leisure time resting (giving my body and mind ease) or pursuing a hobby.

I am making a list of important tasks to complete. I am setting deadlines for myself and keeping a record of my progress.

I know I will get everything done if I break it down into simple steps and follow them every day.

Wishing you a productive week ahead

– With love,

Me

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This is a new series that I’ve started. Where I’ll be sharing some Notes to Self according to different situations.

In psychology we’re taught that the self talk we have, how we talk with ourselves, the stories we tell ourselves matters a lot!

So this is my effort to have a healthy self talk and I really hope you guys find it useful.

Let me know your thoughts

Thank you for your visit!

Happy Sunday! 🙂