Beauty of love

How do you know when you’re in love?

Maybe you know it when you close your eyes and you smile because you see his face.. his adorable face.. his soft lips.. his lovely eyes.. you also feel his kind, beautiful heart and feel extremely grateful for every single moment you’ve shared together

Maybe you know it when your heart aches when you see him cry, when you want to do everything you can to make his pain go away but you cannot do anything right now.. so you offer him hope.. and you pray for him with all your heart.. and sometimes just sit with him and share the pain

Maybe you know it when he cares for you genuinely and all you can do is feel grateful for his presence, for his love

Maybe you know it when after a longgg tiresome day, all you want to do is hear his voice and talk to him, be in his arms and then somehow everything seems to be okay..

Maybe you know it when he supports you and encourages you in such a way that you feel more of yourself when you are with him.. there comes this time when you actually start loving yourself more because you are in love with him.. you slowly start becoming a better person and growing in love

Maybe you know it when you realise his happiness matters the most.. when you both start making small sacrifices to see each other happy.. like his happiness is related to yours.. when seeing him happy makes you forget everything.. it’s almost as if world is moving in slow motion and you feel and enjoy the moment you both are together and happy.. and you just want to pause this time.. forever..

The One

I miss you. I haven’t met you yet but I miss you. Sometimes I wonder where can I find you – online? In the local cafe? In shopping mall? Or on a random street? Or through a friend? Possibilities are endless…

I don’t want you to complete me or to fill in my loneliness void. No, I don’t even want you to make me happy…. I have realised I can do all these things by myself. And believe me I am doing all this as good as I can… But sometimes…. I need you. Is it wrong to admit that I need love?

I see those happy couples on insta and when I read their captions I can literally feel their love for each other. That makes me wonder when will I get to love someone like this… When will someone love me like this… Is it wrong to admit that I need love?

Yesterday I was listening to a romantic song. The lyrics felt like you are speaking to me and I’m calling out to you… Sometimes it feels like you are here somewhere.. talking to me through songs and stories.. but why can’t I see you yet?

Love is something that can’t be rushed, they say. But I am done waiting. And you know I’m impatient as hell..

I don’t think you’ll be perfect in every way… But you’ll be right for me and that’s what matters… I am not the type of girl who believes in fairy tales and happy endings… But I know I can have someone whom I can live happily with. Someone who can support my growth and nourish me with love.

Will you meet me soon?


Don’t we all feel like this at times?

Magic of gratitude

Okay so now I’m going to brainwash you into practicing gratitude.

Don’t worry it’s going to benefit you in manyyyyy ways.

So what is gratitude?

Must have heard “attitude of gratitude” saying.. but let’s not get into such meme related stuff here. Let’s get real for a while

Gratitude is a felt sense of wonder, thankfulness and appreciation for life

– Robert Emmons

Aha! This quote really touched my heart

So it’s a feeling of thankfulness about – the ice cream you ate today.. the treat your friend gave you last week… Well yeah.. something like that.

So now… You must be thinking hell yeah! I know that but I ain’t gonna say thank you for everything.

Seriously?

Lemme tell you the benefits –

Research has found that grateful people are more happier 😊 and energetic 😍 and hopeful πŸ˜€ than those who aren’t so grateful.

Plus…

They are more helpful and empathic

More forgiving

Anddd

Less materialistic!

Sounds great?

And also for all the fitness freaks out there –

Practicing gratitude is also linked to physical health.

Well… That doesn’t mean you’re going to get six packs in six weeks of practicing gratitude. πŸ™„

It just means your immunity will improve. You’ll think good thoughts and maybe feel more energetic in gym.

In her book ‘How of happiness’ Sonja Lyubomirsky explains 8 ways in which gratitude helps you.

8 super awesome ways gratitude helps you!

1. Grateful thinking promotes the savouring of positive life experiences

Here’s how I remember it –

Eat your icecream before it melts..

Enjoy the moment before it’s over. Be grateful and enjoy the present time before it’s gone.

Enjoy your college years before going for a job and reflecting back on college days and thinking “those were the days…..”

2. Expressing gratitude bolsters self worth and self esteem

Now imagine a very common situation –

You are late for a party.

You’ll probably say – “Sorry for being late guys… There was traffic” (or whatever lame excuse you come up with)

And they’ll probably ignore you… And you might end up feeling bad about yourself

Now what if you say –

“Thank you so much guys for waiting for me! I am so glad that you all are my friends”

Guess what would happen?

They won’t feel that bad about it… Anddd… Even you’ll feel better… Soooo much better! (I am so glad you are my friends…..πŸ€—)

Boom! Shift in focus..

You feel better about yourself and others after expressing gratitude

3. Gratitude helps people cope with stress and trauma

Yeah… It does!

It’s challenging to express gratitude when you’re stressed or depressed. But like every other medicine you have to take this sour medicine to get better (I mean feel better)

In this period.. you may not have big things to be grateful for.. but it’s the little things that count. You could be grateful you had healthy food today or your friend came to talk to you or something like that.

But feel the gratitude. Say it out loud.

4. Expression of gratitude encourages moral behaviour.

You’re more likely to help others when you feel grateful.

Here’s the thing – when you are aware about your own blessings you want to be that blessing for someone else.

When everything is going good in your life, you are more likely to help others. It’s like when your cup is full, it overflows.

So if you want to help others, start by feeling more grateful about your own situation. It helps, trust me!

And when you help others it gives a more positive boost about yourself.

5. Gratitude can help build social bonds, strengthening existing relationships and nourishing new ones.

When you constantly realise how blessed you are to have this person in your life…

You treat them better! Even they treat you better!

Oh I’m so blessed to have you in my life honey… I really appreciate you doing the dishes yesterday and even though you were tired… You talked with me for a while and asked me about my day before going to bed… It’s these little things that make me so happy!

I feel the same darling. I remember the time when my mom was in hospital and you spent a week there taking care of her. She was so happy to have you there.. I will always remember the good things you’ve done for me and my family, this is nothing compared to that..

After reading this how many of you went “awwww”

Yeah! That’s how it gets.

Genuine appreciation has a wonderful impact. It kinda creates a “positive feedback loop” where both parties express their gratitude and feel awesome! For the rest of the week…

If you constantly remind yourself of the good things other person has done to you it might get hard to even get angry at them or when you do, it’s resolved quickly coz you know there’s more to this person than just this one incident.

So gratitude also helps in relationships! ❀️

6. Expressing gratitude tends to inhibit invidious comparison with others.

I am going for a vacation in Bahamas! Yay! I’m so excited for it… Where are you going?

For this vacation I’m going to visit my family after a year! Due to work and being in different country I cannot visit them that often. I’m so blessed to spend this vacation with them! I can’t wait to see my little sister and play some pranks with her… Haha..

Did person 2 feel jealous?

No!

Because she appreciates what she has. Did she compare? Nah! I don’t think so…

That’s what feeling of gratitude does.. it helps you appreciate what you have and makes you less materialistic.

7. Practice of gratitude is incompatible with negative emotions and may actually dimnish or deter such feelings as anger, bitterness and greed.

Can you feel angry and happy at the same time?

You can’t! No one can…

Some bittersweet feelings are there… But not really

If you thank someone for helping you, (genuinely) they are more likely to do that in future. Not just to you, but to others as well. It’s like creating a positive ripple. Everyone is benefited.

Do you feel guilty sometimes receiving help?

You won’t when you thank them from the bottom of your heart. You’ll realise you’re surrounded by kind people and they’ll feel happy as they are the kind ones.

Win-win situation for both parties!

8. Gratitude helps us thwart hedonic adaptation.

Do you remember the excitement you feel when you get something you always wanted…. And after few days… You don’t feel that happy about the thing.

For example – You always wanted to try the donuts of that new donut shop. Suddenly they open a branch next to your house. You feel sooo happy, you eat their donuts straight for 2 weeks.

Would you feel like going to that shop again? Will the excitement be the same?

Noooooo

(don’t lie.. it won’t)

Sooo… Here’s what you can do

When you go there next time, order a donut and feel grateful for the opportunity to eat it. Like… Wow… This is so yummm…. *Takes a bite… Wowww… I’ve never tasted anything like this….. It’s soo good!!!!

Just don’t say this loudly or you may never be allowed to enter the shop again!πŸ˜‚

But you get the point right?!

Hedonic adaptation is the way you adapt to new changes quickly and it doesn’t feel so interesting afterwards

So gratitude comes to your rescue even here!

See… I told you I’m gonna brainwash you into practicing gratitude.

So tell me… Was I successful in my mission? 😁

And lastly….

What’s good?

Pause. Stop criticising for a while. Stop ruminating about how bad you are doing. Stop overthinking about the situation.

Just ask yourself

What’s good?

We hardly take time to see what are the good things that are happening with us.

No really, ask yourself What’s good that happened today?

What’s good that happened last week?

What’s good that is happening right now?

Maybe it’s the great family dinner you had last week, maybe it’s your favorite dish your mom cooked for you yesterday, maybe it’s sharing quality time with your best friend today.

Talk about these things!

Notice them.

Appreciate that.

Share your happy memories πŸ’•

The best way to multiply your happiness, is to share it with others.

Next time when you meet someone don’t ask them how they are doing and how was their day… Ask them – What’s good?

When you are used to…

When you are used to getting rude remarks

Kindness seems like bliss

When you are used to hear him say “Oh I love you so much! Why do you always make me angry?”

It feels good when someone says “I am sorry, I was wrong. I won’t do that again. Please forgive me honey”

When you have experienced him insulting you in front of your friends,

It feels warm when someone gives you heartfelt praise in front of your friends

When you are used to him saying “This can’t work between us, I am done!”

It feels nice when someone says “I’m here to stay”

When you are used to him make you feel uncomfortable about your true self

You feel so happy when someone truly understands you and accepts you, just as you are

When you are used to hear him say “You will never be someone I deserve.. you are imperfect”

Your heart overflows with love when someone says “no one has felt you the way I have…”❀️

Β© Vrunda Chauk

Note to self – 5 (cherish the moments)

Have you ever felt that sudden, extreme fear when everything in your life is going well?

You are afraid and you know (from your experience) that something bad will happen now.

You feel scared to have so much beauty, so much joy in your life that you are afraid something terrible might happen.

Here’s something I tell myself in those moments –

Dear Self,

First of all, cherish these moments.. life is finally going the way you wanted it to.

You have someone you love, beside you, I know you have waited for a long time for this to happen, now it’s here!

You are growing, exploring so fast, learning new things, feeling confident for once in your life! Having good friends besides you who are ready to share your joy and sadness.

Looks like a dream, doesn’t it? But fortunately, you’re living this dream.

Take a moment to thank God for all the blessings you have in your life.

For a moment, just forget everything and enjoy this very moment.

Look at the beauty around you, store it in your eyes, in your heart, in your soul…

Will this change?

Definitely! But you will have these memories… for once in your life… Everything was perfect!

You may not feel so bad about the change, if you truly enjoy the happy time, while it lasts.

And life is just a switch between positive and negative, things will change..

Don’t let that stop you from cherishing good memories

Afterall who knows, the positives might come again in a different form?!

Blessings and love!β™₯️

Me

Happiness in little things

Worst day ever

Today was absolute worst day ever

And don’t try to convince me that

There’s something good in every day

Because when you take a closer look

This world is a pretty evil place.

Even if

Some goodness does shine through once in a while

Satisfaction and happiness don’t last.

And it’s not true that

It’s all in the mind and heart

Because

True happiness can be obtained

Only if one’s surroundings are good

It’s not true that good exists

I’m sure you can agree that

The reality

Creates

My attitude

It’s all beyond my control

And you’ll never in a million years hear me say that

Today was a good day

*Now read from bottom to the top

-Chanie Gorkin

It’s always amazing to see the wonderful magic words can create.

The complete meaning of the poem changes when you read from bottom to top.

That’s just all about life.

It’s not about where you look, it’s about what you choose to see.

Even if in your whole day you did nothing good but came home and met your mom and ate the food she prepared, guess what?

You’re blessed!

If you really go on looking for good things in life, you will find millions of things! We really don’t pay that much attention to good things.


BernΓ© Brown is a psychologist. She did 12 years of research in psychology. She interviewed people who have been through horrific things, loss of children, violence, trauma. And she asked them what was the hardest loss?

And they never talked about the extraordinary things, they said I miss the ordinary moments. Like “I miss hearing the door slam and know my husband’s home from work, I miss my kids fighting in the backyard, I miss the way my wife set the table”

These are the moments which are right in front of our eyes everyday.

Why not stop and say – “Thank God, I’m grateful for this”

It’s the heartfelt gratitude that brings joy and it’s that joy that brings happiness.


You cannot win competitions everyday to be happy, you cannot throw parties everyday to be happy, you cannot wait for this amazing new thing to happen in order to be happy.

You have happiness and joy right in front of you, just open your eyes and see!


Simple recipe for happiness –

Step 1 – List down the things that being you joy. It can be little things. Like – playing guitar, dancing to Taylor Swift’s songs, baking a cake, drawing something, listening music, cuddling in a warm blanket and reading your favourite book….

Do as many things today as you can from that list.

Step 2 – Do something good for others. Like – bring flowers for your mom, help your dad with work, give chocolates to your younger brother or sister, make plans to spend time with your friends…

These small things bring immense joy and happiness


Happiness is little things

Happiness is little things,

A book, a cup of tea,

A card or letter in the mail,

Especially for me.

To see a rosebush in full bloom,
Be warmed by glowing sun;
To snuggle in a cozy bed
When the day is done.

A good night’s rest, a brand new day,
The warmth of friendly hand;
A note, a smile, a touch, a hug,
Someone to understand.

Days of hope and hours of love,
Savoring each minute;
Happiness is in your heart
If thankfulness is in it.

– Viola Jacobson Berg


I saw a video yesterday in which, Taylor Swift was saying this in her concert –

You need to look into the mirror in the morning and not tell yourself that you’re not good enough.

Here are the things you are actually not –
β€’ You are not the opinion of somebody who doesn’t know you
β€’ You are not damaged goods just because you’ve made mistakes in your life.
β€’ You are not going nowhere just because you haven’t gotten where you want to go, yet.

Now I want to tell you things you really are –
β€’ You are your own definition of beautiful and worthwhile.
β€’ You are someone who’s wiser because you’ve made mistakes. Not damaged, wiser
β€’ You are somebody who is going through stressful times and still has the ability to go on with things.

It’s not about perfection.
Sometimes it’s just about going on with things. Sometimes you get just get credit for getting up and going on with things.

– Taylor Swift


Wishing you all a cheerful International Happiness Day!!

Hope you guys have a beautiful and blessed day ahead! πŸ’–πŸŒˆπŸ’–

And don’t forget to smile! 😊


Do you really think if you don’t love yourself, no one else will love you?

I have heard this a lot! ‘If you don’t love yourself, no one else will’.

Really?

I was with a narcissist. And that was the time when my self esteem was so low that even if he treated me like shit, I thought I deserved it and didn’t oppose much.

Then came a time when I didn’t love myself at all. I had no confidence, I felt like it’s always my fault – I mess up with everything, I could never be as amazing and as attractive as others are, I would never be successful, I can’t do anything.

I was critising myself every single time. I didn’t like myself the way I was. I could note down at least 100 things I wanted to change in me.

That was tough.

And stressful.

I didn’t love myself.

And now when I look back, I noticed a few things –

My friends were always there by my side, telling me how good I am at many other things.

But I didn’t believe that.

My best friend made efforts for me to take a break from this self blame game and enjoy myself.

My mom dad always made efforts to take care of me when I was stressed out.

They’d prepare my favourite food, take me somewhere I love, just to cheer me up.

They also tried to know what was bothering me and talk about possible solutions. But I didn’t tell them.

What could I possibly tell them?

I had no idea what I was doing with my life.

I really hated myself.

But people around me?

They didn’t.

My friends cared for me and my mom dad loved me.

I couldn’t see that. I wasn’t even able to return their love, maybe coz I didn’t love myself.

Our feelings can really trick us sometimes…

When you feel lonely, doesn’t mean you ARE lonely.

When you feel stupid, doesn’t mean you ARE stupid.

When you feel you are not worthy of worthy of happiness, doesn’t mean that’s true.

Feelings just come and go.

Now looking back I just want to tell that struggling Vrunda –

Don’t give up baby. I love you. Open your eyes and see! Everyone loves you. Get away from people who make you feel like you’re nothing.

You are valuable to me.

Moral of the story

Even when you hate yourself, look around and see. Maybe situation isn’t as worse as you think. Maybe it’s all in your head. Maybe next day you will be able to see how much others love you and value you and more than anything…. Maybe next day you will wake up and see how much you love yourself ❀️


And loving yourself is good… Actually it’s a need. It’s necessary.

But not a criteria to be fulfilled to be loved by others.

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