Body positivity

Today I asked my body what she needed,

Which is a big deal

Considering my journey of

Not Really Asking That Much

I thought she might need more water

Or proteins. Or greens. Or supplements. Or yoga. Or movement.

But as I stood in the shower

Reflecting on her stretch marks

Her roundness where I would like flatness,

Her softness where I would like firmness,

All those conditioned wishes

That form a bunch of

Never-Quite-Right-Ness

She whispered very gently –

“Can you just loved me like this?”

– Hollie Holden

No matter what your body looks like – whether it’s big, small, dark, fair, I am here to tell you, you are beautiful.

And I’m not saying this just to be nice or that’s the right thing to say.. I’m saying this because it’s a fact, it’s the truth.

I struggled with body image issues (I still do at times). There was a time when I hated my body and I would have been ready to exchange it with anyone who I think is better than me.

But now I don’t.

You know why? because I’ve learnt to love my body as it is. I don’t want to change a single thing about it.

I have realised that when you look at yourself in the mirror with a frown, you really look miserable. But when you see yourself in the mirror and smile, even the person looking at you smiles and suddenly seems more attractive.

You don’t need to be so harsh on yourself, you don’t see yourself every time. You don’t know how beautiful you look when you talk about your passion, you don’t know how beautiful you look when you see your crush smiling back at you, you don’t know how beautiful you look when you are talking kindly to someone.

And people notice that!

Don’t be in a sad mood because your dress is tight or you got pimples or you are tanned or something silly like that.

Just decide you are going to have fun wherever you go, no matter how you look like. You are going to talk to people and not care what they think about you.

And believe me, when you truly, deeply feel comfortable in your own skin, you glow. This is a different type of glow that you cannot fake with all the cosmetics and surgeries.

People love to be around that sunshine, that glow. They love the positivity, optimism, humour that you bring to the table.

Just wake up today and decide you are going to love your body and take care of it and you’ll be surprised to see how your life gets better.

And remember, your body is not a show piece for people to judge, it’s a instrument through which you are able to experience the world around you.

If a guy doesn’t like you physically? You don’t care! You haven’t been given a life sentence to spend the rest of your life with him. You have the choice right? Make your decision and stay away from people who constantly criticise your body.

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This post is mainly addressed to girls as I have seen many of them struggle with body image issue (I know it’s not gender specific). But I want you girls to know that –

Even the girl in the magazine doesn’t look like the girl in the magazine.

So stop comparing your real life to what people show on Instagram. That might just be the tip of the iceberg…. Value what you have while you have it.

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I am scared of you making me happy. I am afraid that in such short time that you are making me so happy, I’ll get used to it. That eventually I’ll stop making myself happy. I don’t want to wake up one day and realise I was so used to your pampering, your care, your love, that you somehow became so important to me that now when you are not here, I can’t do anything on my own. I can’t be happy. I know you won’t stay. At least not forever. When you are gone how will I get over from receiving so much of love and attention to absolutely nothing?

Maybe what they say is true. Maybe I don’t need to give so quickly. Maybe I need to stop loving passionately. But I don’t know how to love without passion. So maybe I shouldn’t love you. Maybe I need to be careful with you, but sometimes I can’t.

Yes, I need breaks from you. To remind myself that I have a different life. To remind myself that you won’t stay forever. To nourish the relationship I have with myself. To realise I am happy even without you.…

Self talk

Okay so self talk is important. And it should always be positive, right?

No, that would never be possible.

Then?

Self talk just needs a little bit of honesty and a whole lot of kindness.

May I be kind to myself

When I talk to myself,
May I be kind
For I know that the kindness I plant in my heart,
Determines the way I’ll go

May I be kind to myself
When I make a mistake,
When I am hurt,
When things go wrong

May I be kind to myself
And validate my pain
Say “this hurts”
And remind myself
I am not the only one,
Suffering is a part of life

May I be kind to myself,
Place a hand on my heart
And say
“Keep going, brave one
For this too shall pass”

© Vrunda Chauk

Note to self – 6 (when you don’t get what you want)

That frustration you experience when you’re trying hard but still not getting what you want..

When you are so passionate about something and want it badly, still you have to wait…

Ever felt that?

It’s happening with me.

After lot of efforts to change my mood, I wrote this – (something I really needed to hear)

Dear Self,

I am proud of you for the efforts you’re putting in to get this.

I understand how badly you want it. And I know you will get it soon.

Keep going, I’m here to cheer you. You are doing great.

I know it’s not working.

But something that’s more important than success is the process of getting there. Make sure you enjoy the grind, the process, try to have some fun and keep going.

There is no ray of light now, but I can promise you, if you keep going your sunshine is not far away.

This frustration that you’re experiencing now, remember one day you will be telling people how you overcame it and “made it to the top”

By the time, try to improve your game. See what else you have to learn, what risks you can take, this is the time you have nothing to loose. Just give it your all and keep faith.

Your future is bright!

Cheering for you,

Me

When you are used to…

When you are used to getting rude remarks

Kindness seems like bliss

When you are used to hear him say “Oh I love you so much! Why do you always make me angry?”

It feels good when someone says “I am sorry, I was wrong. I won’t do that again. Please forgive me honey”

When you have experienced him insulting you in front of your friends,

It feels warm when someone gives you heartfelt praise in front of your friends

When you are used to him saying “This can’t work between us, I am done!”

It feels nice when someone says “I’m here to stay”

When you are used to him make you feel uncomfortable about your true self

You feel so happy when someone truly understands you and accepts you, just as you are

When you are used to hear him say “You will never be someone I deserve.. you are imperfect”

Your heart overflows with love when someone says “no one has felt you the way I have…”❤️

© Vrunda Chauk

Note to self – 5 (cherish the moments)

Have you ever felt that sudden, extreme fear when everything in your life is going well?

You are afraid and you know (from your experience) that something bad will happen now.

You feel scared to have so much beauty, so much joy in your life that you are afraid something terrible might happen.

Here’s something I tell myself in those moments –

Dear Self,

First of all, cherish these moments.. life is finally going the way you wanted it to.

You have someone you love, beside you, I know you have waited for a long time for this to happen, now it’s here!

You are growing, exploring so fast, learning new things, feeling confident for once in your life! Having good friends besides you who are ready to share your joy and sadness.

Looks like a dream, doesn’t it? But fortunately, you’re living this dream.

Take a moment to thank God for all the blessings you have in your life.

For a moment, just forget everything and enjoy this very moment.

Look at the beauty around you, store it in your eyes, in your heart, in your soul…

Will this change?

Definitely! But you will have these memories… for once in your life… Everything was perfect!

You may not feel so bad about the change, if you truly enjoy the happy time, while it lasts.

And life is just a switch between positive and negative, things will change..

Don’t let that stop you from cherishing good memories

Afterall who knows, the positives might come again in a different form?!

Blessings and love!♥️

Me

Do you really think if you don’t love yourself, no one else will love you?

I have heard this a lot! ‘If you don’t love yourself, no one else will’.

Really?

I was with a narcissist. And that was the time when my self esteem was so low that even if he treated me like shit, I thought I deserved it and didn’t oppose much.

Then came a time when I didn’t love myself at all. I had no confidence, I felt like it’s always my fault – I mess up with everything, I could never be as amazing and as attractive as others are, I would never be successful, I can’t do anything.

I was critising myself every single time. I didn’t like myself the way I was. I could note down at least 100 things I wanted to change in me.

That was tough.

And stressful.

I didn’t love myself.

And now when I look back, I noticed a few things –

My friends were always there by my side, telling me how good I am at many other things.

But I didn’t believe that.

My best friend made efforts for me to take a break from this self blame game and enjoy myself.

My mom dad always made efforts to take care of me when I was stressed out.

They’d prepare my favourite food, take me somewhere I love, just to cheer me up.

They also tried to know what was bothering me and talk about possible solutions. But I didn’t tell them.

What could I possibly tell them?

I had no idea what I was doing with my life.

I really hated myself.

But people around me?

They didn’t.

My friends cared for me and my mom dad loved me.

I couldn’t see that. I wasn’t even able to return their love, maybe coz I didn’t love myself.

Our feelings can really trick us sometimes…

When you feel lonely, doesn’t mean you ARE lonely.

When you feel stupid, doesn’t mean you ARE stupid.

When you feel you are not worthy of worthy of happiness, doesn’t mean that’s true.

Feelings just come and go.

Now looking back I just want to tell that struggling Vrunda –

Don’t give up baby. I love you. Open your eyes and see! Everyone loves you. Get away from people who make you feel like you’re nothing.

You are valuable to me.

Moral of the story –

Even when you hate yourself, look around and see. Maybe situation isn’t as worse as you think. Maybe it’s all in your head. Maybe next day you will be able to see how much others love you and value you and more than anything…. Maybe next day you will wake up and see how much you love yourself ❤️

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And loving yourself is good… Actually it’s a need. It’s necessary.

But not a criteria to be fulfilled to be loved by others.

Different stages of love and relationships

I have a collection of beautiful and meaningful quotes that I like to read for support and encouragement while going through a particular phase of life. I am a Quodophile I guess…. 😄

But these quotes, these messages really uplift me during tough times and make me smile during happy ones.

So, here are the different stages of relationship and the quotes that relate to that particular phase. You might resonate with them, you may be inspired by them, or you might just feel that you’re not alone in this. Others experience the same struggle as you do.

Either way, I hope you find them helpful. 😊

Happily single

Okay so I want to start with singles. This is the stage when you realise you need to simply wait for the right person. You have finally understood it’s better than being in a wrong relationship.

It might be a lesson you’ve learnt after being in a toxic relationship or you just don’t want to settle and are waiting for the right person.

This quote expresses my feelings about this stage –

God, I surrender my heart to You and ask You to keep it safe until it’s time for me to give it away. I am grateful for every time I didn’t settle for anything less than Your best for me. In the lonely times and the uncertain times, help me remember that with You, nothing, especially love – arrives too soon or too late, but right on time.

– Mandy Hale

About to leave a toxic relationship

This stage is so important after suffering the pain, betrayal, disappointment and all. If you have realised that you need to step of this relationship, here’s something to help you –

I exhaled you. You are no longer in control of what I feel. You are no longer a weight clinging to the back of my throat. I let you go. I set you free. And giving you your pair of wings was the best decision I ever made for myself. I am fuller now. Brighter. Lighter. I am me. And I have never been more complete than I am now.

– R. M. Drake

Falling in love with yourself

This is a very beautiful kinda stage. You give yourself love, care and attention you’ve been needing for so long. You work on improving the relationship you have with yourself. (If you are, trust me it’s gonna be so beneficial to you in the long run). Once you love yourself completely and unconditionally, once you understand yourself, once you start enjoying your company, you realise you don’t need anyone to complete you.

I love this quote that reminds me to do the same –

Be alone. Eat alone. Take yourself on dates, sleep alone. In the midst of this you will learn out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself. Wait for it. Please, I urge you to wait for it, to fight for it, to make an effort for it if you have already found it, because it is the most beautiful thing your heart will experience.

– Bianca Sparacino

When you are figuring out why they left

This.. is painful. You don’t know whom to trust, what to do, everything is shattered. You don’t trust love anymore, you feel…. Lost…. Completely utterly lost…

This is something I want to share with you –

It took me a long time to realise that not everything in life is meant to be a beautiful story. Not every person we feel something deep and moving with is meant to make a home within us, is meant to be a forever. Sometimes people come into our lives to teach us how to love and sometimes, people come into our lives our lives to teach us how not to love.

How not to settle, how not to shrink ourselves ever again. Yes sometimes people leave – but that’s okay, because their lessons always stay and that is what matters. That is what remains.

– Bianca Sparacino

When you realise love isn’t the only thing you want

This happens when you realise that he/she might be someone you love, but not someone you can spend your life with.

You need something more, in a relationship.

For her, love always fell into that little space between regret and hope. When someone awakened that part of her, she always hung on a little too long, or a little too hard. And some would say that’s what you do with love – hang on. But she’d been alive long enough now to understand that love is only a foundation – a building block. And it needs something else – many something elses – to glue it together so other it sticks enough to build a life on.

– Emma Grace

When you finally realise this isn’t what you want (though you thought you did)

Ahhh…. There comes a time when you realise that even though you thought you wanted him/her forever, you no longer do.

Situations have changed, you have changed, they have changed and now you know yourself much better. And now you are confused about what to do – you have invested yourself so much emotionally into this relationship, getting out of it suddenly sounds strange.

But now, somehow being in relationship doesn’t feel right either.

It’s okay to change your mind, to make mistakes, to walk away from someone you once loved – from something that once meant the world to you. It’s okay, because this is your life, your cause, your body, your beliefs, your mind, your heart and your feelings. And you don’t need validation from no one, other than you and I hope it doesn’t take you a lifetime to realise that.

– R.M.Drake

Meeting your soulmate

This is the best part in everyone’s life I guess. It’s when you realise –

No, a soulmate does not complete you – they inspire you to complete yourself. A soulmate is the person who supports your direction, who motivates and encourages you to stretch, to change, to reinvent yourself until you are happy. A soulmate is someone is someone who loves you with so much conviction and so much heart, that it is nearly impossible to doubt just how capable you are of becoming exactly who you have always wanted to be.

– Bianca Sparacino

The Commitment

It’s when you two have finally decided to stay together and enjoy each other’s company for lifetime. You know it’s not easy, but you want to be together through life’s up and downs.

So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard, we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me…. Everyday.

– Nicholas Sparks

The long lasting love and relationship

This is when you are happily engaged. You have formed that deep, passionate, beautiful connection. You know that no matter what happens you two ain’t gonna give up on each other.

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I’d hoped to give you forever.

– Nicholas Sparks

Happy Valentine’s Week friends!!❤️

No matter which stage you are in, remember there is love all around. Spread Love❤️ Be love.