Do you really think if you don’t love yourself, no one else will love you?

I have heard this a lot! ‘If you don’t love yourself, no one else will’.

Really?

I was with a narcissist. And that was the time when my self esteem was so low that even if he treated me like shit, I thought I deserved it and didn’t oppose much.

Then came a time when I didn’t love myself at all. I had no confidence, I felt like it’s always my fault – I mess up with everything, I could never be as amazing and as attractive as others are, I would never be successful, I can’t do anything.

I was critising myself every single time. I didn’t like myself the way I was. I could note down at least 100 things I wanted to change in me.

That was tough.

And stressful.

I didn’t love myself.

And now when I look back, I noticed a few things –

My friends were always there by my side, telling me how good I am at many other things.

But I didn’t believe that.

My best friend made efforts for me to take a break from this self blame game and enjoy myself.

My mom dad always made efforts to take care of me when I was stressed out.

They’d prepare my favourite food, take me somewhere I love, just to cheer me up.

They also tried to know what was bothering me and talk about possible solutions. But I didn’t tell them.

What could I possibly tell them?

I had no idea what I was doing with my life.

I really hated myself.

But people around me?

They didn’t.

My friends cared for me and my mom dad loved me.

I couldn’t see that. I wasn’t even able to return their love, maybe coz I didn’t love myself.

Our feelings can really trick us sometimes…

When you feel lonely, doesn’t mean you ARE lonely.

When you feel stupid, doesn’t mean you ARE stupid.

When you feel you are not worthy of worthy of happiness, doesn’t mean that’s true.

Feelings just come and go.

Now looking back I just want to tell that struggling Vrunda –

Don’t give up baby. I love you. Open your eyes and see! Everyone loves you. Get away from people who make you feel like you’re nothing.

You are valuable to me.

Moral of the story

Even when you hate yourself, look around and see. Maybe situation isn’t as worse as you think. Maybe it’s all in your head. Maybe next day you will be able to see how much others love you and value you and more than anything…. Maybe next day you will wake up and see how much you love yourself ❤️


And loving yourself is good… Actually it’s a need. It’s necessary.

But not a criteria to be fulfilled to be loved by others.

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Different stages of love and relationships

I have a collection of beautiful and meaningful quotes that I like to read for support and encouragement while going through a particular phase of life. I am a Quodophile I guess…. 😄

But these quotes, these messages really uplift me during tough times and make me smile during happy ones.

So, here are the different stages of relationship and the quotes that relate to that particular phase. You might resonate with them, you may be inspired by them, or you might just feel that you’re not alone in this. Others experience the same struggle as you do.

Either way, I hope you find them helpful. 😊

Happily single

Okay so I want to start with singles. This is the stage when you realise you need to simply wait for the right person. You have finally understood it’s better than being in a wrong relationship.

It might be a lesson you’ve learnt after being in a toxic relationship or you just don’t want to settle and are waiting for the right person.

This quote expresses my feelings about this stage –

God, I surrender my heart to You and ask You to keep it safe until it’s time for me to give it away. I am grateful for every time I didn’t settle for anything less than Your best for me. In the lonely times and the uncertain times, help me remember that with You, nothing, especially love – arrives too soon or too late, but right on time.

– Mandy Hale

About to leave a toxic relationship

This stage is so important after suffering the pain, betrayal, disappointment and all. If you have realised that you need to step of this relationship, here’s something to help you –

I exhaled you. You are no longer in control of what I feel. You are no longer a weight clinging to the back of my throat. I let you go. I set you free. And giving you your pair of wings was the best decision I ever made for myself. I am fuller now. Brighter. Lighter. I am me. And I have never been more complete than I am now.

– R. M. Drake

Falling in love with yourself

This is a very beautiful kinda stage. You give yourself love, care and attention you’ve been needing for so long. You work on improving the relationship you have with yourself. (If you are, trust me it’s gonna be so beneficial to you in the long run). Once you love yourself completely and unconditionally, once you understand yourself, once you start enjoying your company, you realise you don’t need anyone to complete you.

I love this quote that reminds me to do the same –

Be alone. Eat alone. Take yourself on dates, sleep alone. In the midst of this you will learn out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself. Wait for it. Please, I urge you to wait for it, to fight for it, to make an effort for it if you have already found it, because it is the most beautiful thing your heart will experience.

– Bianca Sparacino

When you are figuring out why they left

This.. is painful. You don’t know whom to trust, what to do, everything is shattered. You don’t trust love anymore, you feel…. Lost…. Completely utterly lost…

This is something I want to share with you –

It took me a long time to realise that not everything in life is meant to be a beautiful story. Not every person we feel something deep and moving with is meant to make a home within us, is meant to be a forever. Sometimes people come into our lives to teach us how to love and sometimes, people come into our lives our lives to teach us how not to love.

How not to settle, how not to shrink ourselves ever again. Yes sometimes people leave – but that’s okay, because their lessons always stay and that is what matters. That is what remains.

– Bianca Sparacino

When you realise love isn’t the only thing you want

This happens when you realise that he/she might be someone you love, but not someone you can spend your life with.

You need something more, in a relationship.

For her, love always fell into that little space between regret and hope. When someone awakened that part of her, she always hung on a little too long, or a little too hard. And some would say that’s what you do with love – hang on. But she’d been alive long enough now to understand that love is only a foundation – a building block. And it needs something else – many something elses – to glue it together so other it sticks enough to build a life on.

– Emma Grace

When you finally realise this isn’t what you want (though you thought you did)

Ahhh…. There comes a time when you realise that even though you thought you wanted him/her forever, you no longer do.

Situations have changed, you have changed, they have changed and now you know yourself much better. And now you are confused about what to do – you have invested yourself so much emotionally into this relationship, getting out of it suddenly sounds strange.

But now, somehow being in relationship doesn’t feel right either.

It’s okay to change your mind, to make mistakes, to walk away from someone you once loved – from something that once meant the world to you. It’s okay, because this is your life, your cause, your body, your beliefs, your mind, your heart and your feelings. And you don’t need validation from no one, other than you and I hope it doesn’t take you a lifetime to realise that.

– R.M.Drake

Meeting your soulmate

This is the best part in everyone’s life I guess. It’s when you realise –

No, a soulmate does not complete you – they inspire you to complete yourself. A soulmate is the person who supports your direction, who motivates and encourages you to stretch, to change, to reinvent yourself until you are happy. A soulmate is someone is someone who loves you with so much conviction and so much heart, that it is nearly impossible to doubt just how capable you are of becoming exactly who you have always wanted to be.

– Bianca Sparacino

The Commitment

It’s when you two have finally decided to stay together and enjoy each other’s company for lifetime. You know it’s not easy, but you want to be together through life’s up and downs.

So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard, we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me…. Everyday.

– Nicholas Sparks

The long lasting love and relationship

This is when you are happily engaged. You have formed that deep, passionate, beautiful connection. You know that no matter what happens you two ain’t gonna give up on each other.

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I’d hoped to give you forever.

– Nicholas Sparks

Happy Valentine’s Week friends!!❤️

No matter which stage you are in, remember there is love all around. Spread Love❤️ Be love.

12 Quotes that will support you in your healing process.

If there’s something I’m proud of doing in 2018, it’s that I was able to heal myself.

Here are some quotes that supported me in my healing process and I hope this will help you go through it with more awareness and kindness –

When you walk away from the source of pain, you start healing.

– Najwa Zebian

Honestly, this should be the first step. The more you distance yourself from the source of pain, the more you can focus on yourself, your pain, your healing.

She’s an explorer, unafraid to travel within her heart and mind, ready to discover new spaces to heal – releasing burdens to planting wisdom wherever her awareness takes her.

– Yung Pueblo

When you start healing, you understand that you need to let go, let go of the thought patterns and behaviours that don’t serve you. You have to keep faith that the only YOU know what’s best for you. The knowledge or wisdom you are seeking is deep down in your heart. You have to listen to it and be gentle with yourself.

She once believed that the damage to her mind and heart was permanent, until she met wisdom, who taught her that no pain or wound is eternal, that all can be healed and that love can grow even in the toughest parts or her being.

– Yung Pueblo

Keep faith and keep going.

Perhaps it’s time to stop being so hard on your heart. Can’t you see she’s doing the best she can to stay standing against all that’s cold and harsh and hurtful in the world?

Forgive her for beating so fast. She’s just trying to keep up.

Hold her gently. Remind her to exhale. Let her rest today.

– Rebecca Ray

This will be much much easier if you are kind to yourself. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for not knowing better. Forgive yourself for not doing better. Be gentle and kind with yourself.

You know these things that you need to hear sometimes?

Like you’re doing great and this is tough but you can do it and you are totally, absolutely enough?

You’re allowed to say those things to yourself.

– Rebecca Ray

If there’s something I wish I knew in my teenage its how to practice self compassion.

Now that I know how to be kind to myself, I realise the importance of it and the wonders that can happen if you are just kind to yourself.

I literally wrote down what I wanted to hear at that moment and said that to myself. Kindly. Gently. It made me feel much better.

Her rebirth was stunning. She lifted herself from the depths of despair, grasped her dreams, embedded them in her heart and walked forward into a future only her will and vision could control.

– Yung Pueblo

Reading this gave me strength I needed. The thought that I have my dreams, my passion, something to look forward to, made me more willing to let go of the pain and arose a strong desire to move forward.

Hope is not a fool.

She doesn’t promise you it won’t hurt. Or that it will be easy. She doesn’t even tell you the way.

But she does remind you that it matters. And as long as you’re seeking, Hope is listening.

– Rebecca Ray

Hope…. When you feel anything but hopeful, you should have hope?

As ironical as it might sound, you have to believe you will get through this to actually go through. It’s not possible to be hopeful 24×7, but when you feel like quitting, just remind yourself that this struggle will end, hopefully much sooner than you think.

Healing yourself will ask more of you –

More rest

More self love

More letting go

More time for learning

More space for transformation

More honesty about how you feel

More time developing good habits

More courage to try new practices

More time cultivating your inner peace

More faith in yourself and the process.

– Yung Pueblo

He said it best.

Remember that you are a work in progress. You are not perfect. You are not expected to be. Do not allow the fear of falling to stop you from jumping. Do not allow the fear of responsibility to stop you from committing. Do not allow the fear of exposure to stop you from shining.

– Najwa Zebian

You are not perfect and that’s okay. Do not burden yourself with unrealistic standards of perfection to achieve.

Don’t loose hope.

Someone, somewhere is looking for the exact same love that you have to offer. The exact same love that the one who hurt you did not appreciate. Don’t loose hope. And don’t settle.

The most beautiful love stories are those that come after you realise what you deserve and you actually finally get it.

You deserve someone who loves your way of love. Someone who loves you.

– Najwa Zebian

This gives you a relief. That everything is going to be okay. There’s nothing wrong with your love, nothing wrong with you.

Things I know about healing –

1. You get to set the pace, no one else.

2. You get to define what growth looks like for you.

3. You get to start over as many time as it takes.

– Rebecca Ray

Remember it’s your healing. It’s for you. You know better. It’s okay even if your healing doesn’t look like someone else’s.

And remember.. you are NOT alone in this. It might seem never ending storm, but you are not alone. Share your struggles with your family or close friend or a therapist.

Someone who listens to you patiently, doesn’t criticise you and lets you know you are not alone in this. Someone who supports and encourages you.

Seek help whenever you need.

It hurt. And she carried on.

It failed. And she carried on.

It broke. And she carried on.

She carried on. And it passed.

She carried on. And it changed.

She carried on. And it was beautiful.

– Rebecca Ray

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