Poem

Sometimes
you are unsatisfied with your life,
while many people in this world
are dreaming of living your life…

A child on a farm sees a plane
fly overhead and dreams of flying.
but a pilot on the plane sees the farmhouse
and dreams of returning home

That’s life! Enjoy yours…

If wealth is secret to happiness,
then the rich should be dancing on the streets
but only poor kids do that.

If power ensures security,
then officials should walk unguarded.
but those who live simply, sleep soundly.

If beauty and fame bring ideal relationships,
then celebrities should have best marriages.

Live simply

Walk humbly

And love genuinely…

All good will come back to you..

– Dr. Ben Carson

Present

Sometimes when i think about future and get scared,

I think about present and thank God

I try not to miss today’s sunshine,

While worrying whether I’ll see it again in future

© Vrunda Chauk

The One

I miss you. I haven’t met you yet but I miss you. Sometimes I wonder where can I find you – online? In the local cafe? In shopping mall? Or on a random street? Or through a friend? Possibilities are endless…

I don’t want you to complete me or to fill in my loneliness void. No, I don’t even want you to make me happy…. I have realised I can do all these things by myself. And believe me I am doing all this as good as I can… But sometimes…. I need you. Is it wrong to admit that I need love?

I see those happy couples on insta and when I read their captions I can literally feel their love for each other. That makes me wonder when will I get to love someone like this… When will someone love me like this… Is it wrong to admit that I need love?

Yesterday I was listening to a romantic song. The lyrics felt like you are speaking to me and I’m calling out to you… Sometimes it feels like you are here somewhere.. talking to me through songs and stories.. but why can’t I see you yet?

Love is something that can’t be rushed, they say. But I am done waiting. And you know I’m impatient as hell..

I don’t think you’ll be perfect in every way… But you’ll be right for me and that’s what matters… I am not the type of girl who believes in fairy tales and happy endings… But I know I can have someone whom I can live happily with. Someone who can support my growth and nourish me with love.

Will you meet me soon?


Don’t we all feel like this at times?

Magic of gratitude

Okay so now I’m going to brainwash you into practicing gratitude.

Don’t worry it’s going to benefit you in manyyyyy ways.

So what is gratitude?

Must have heard “attitude of gratitude” saying.. but let’s not get into such meme related stuff here. Let’s get real for a while

Gratitude is a felt sense of wonder, thankfulness and appreciation for life

– Robert Emmons

Aha! This quote really touched my heart

So it’s a feeling of thankfulness about – the ice cream you ate today.. the treat your friend gave you last week… Well yeah.. something like that.

So now… You must be thinking hell yeah! I know that but I ain’t gonna say thank you for everything.

Seriously?

Lemme tell you the benefits –

Research has found that grateful people are more happier 😊 and energetic 😍 and hopeful 😀 than those who aren’t so grateful.

Plus…

They are more helpful and empathic

More forgiving

Anddd

Less materialistic!

Sounds great?

And also for all the fitness freaks out there –

Practicing gratitude is also linked to physical health.

Well… That doesn’t mean you’re going to get six packs in six weeks of practicing gratitude. 🙄

It just means your immunity will improve. You’ll think good thoughts and maybe feel more energetic in gym.

In her book ‘How of happiness’ Sonja Lyubomirsky explains 8 ways in which gratitude helps you.

8 super awesome ways gratitude helps you!

1. Grateful thinking promotes the savouring of positive life experiences

Here’s how I remember it –

Eat your icecream before it melts..

Enjoy the moment before it’s over. Be grateful and enjoy the present time before it’s gone.

Enjoy your college years before going for a job and reflecting back on college days and thinking “those were the days…..”

2. Expressing gratitude bolsters self worth and self esteem

Now imagine a very common situation –

You are late for a party.

You’ll probably say – “Sorry for being late guys… There was traffic” (or whatever lame excuse you come up with)

And they’ll probably ignore you… And you might end up feeling bad about yourself

Now what if you say –

“Thank you so much guys for waiting for me! I am so glad that you all are my friends”

Guess what would happen?

They won’t feel that bad about it… Anddd… Even you’ll feel better… Soooo much better! (I am so glad you are my friends…..🤗)

Boom! Shift in focus..

You feel better about yourself and others after expressing gratitude

3. Gratitude helps people cope with stress and trauma

Yeah… It does!

It’s challenging to express gratitude when you’re stressed or depressed. But like every other medicine you have to take this sour medicine to get better (I mean feel better)

In this period.. you may not have big things to be grateful for.. but it’s the little things that count. You could be grateful you had healthy food today or your friend came to talk to you or something like that.

But feel the gratitude. Say it out loud.

4. Expression of gratitude encourages moral behaviour.

You’re more likely to help others when you feel grateful.

Here’s the thing – when you are aware about your own blessings you want to be that blessing for someone else.

When everything is going good in your life, you are more likely to help others. It’s like when your cup is full, it overflows.

So if you want to help others, start by feeling more grateful about your own situation. It helps, trust me!

And when you help others it gives a more positive boost about yourself.

5. Gratitude can help build social bonds, strengthening existing relationships and nourishing new ones.

When you constantly realise how blessed you are to have this person in your life…

You treat them better! Even they treat you better!

Oh I’m so blessed to have you in my life honey… I really appreciate you doing the dishes yesterday and even though you were tired… You talked with me for a while and asked me about my day before going to bed… It’s these little things that make me so happy!

I feel the same darling. I remember the time when my mom was in hospital and you spent a week there taking care of her. She was so happy to have you there.. I will always remember the good things you’ve done for me and my family, this is nothing compared to that..

After reading this how many of you went “awwww”

Yeah! That’s how it gets.

Genuine appreciation has a wonderful impact. It kinda creates a “positive feedback loop” where both parties express their gratitude and feel awesome! For the rest of the week…

If you constantly remind yourself of the good things other person has done to you it might get hard to even get angry at them or when you do, it’s resolved quickly coz you know there’s more to this person than just this one incident.

So gratitude also helps in relationships! ❤️

6. Expressing gratitude tends to inhibit invidious comparison with others.

I am going for a vacation in Bahamas! Yay! I’m so excited for it… Where are you going?

For this vacation I’m going to visit my family after a year! Due to work and being in different country I cannot visit them that often. I’m so blessed to spend this vacation with them! I can’t wait to see my little sister and play some pranks with her… Haha..

Did person 2 feel jealous?

No!

Because she appreciates what she has. Did she compare? Nah! I don’t think so…

That’s what feeling of gratitude does.. it helps you appreciate what you have and makes you less materialistic.

7. Practice of gratitude is incompatible with negative emotions and may actually dimnish or deter such feelings as anger, bitterness and greed.

Can you feel angry and happy at the same time?

You can’t! No one can…

Some bittersweet feelings are there… But not really

If you thank someone for helping you, (genuinely) they are more likely to do that in future. Not just to you, but to others as well. It’s like creating a positive ripple. Everyone is benefited.

Do you feel guilty sometimes receiving help?

You won’t when you thank them from the bottom of your heart. You’ll realise you’re surrounded by kind people and they’ll feel happy as they are the kind ones.

Win-win situation for both parties!

8. Gratitude helps us thwart hedonic adaptation.

Do you remember the excitement you feel when you get something you always wanted…. And after few days… You don’t feel that happy about the thing.

For example – You always wanted to try the donuts of that new donut shop. Suddenly they open a branch next to your house. You feel sooo happy, you eat their donuts straight for 2 weeks.

Would you feel like going to that shop again? Will the excitement be the same?

Noooooo

(don’t lie.. it won’t)

Sooo… Here’s what you can do

When you go there next time, order a donut and feel grateful for the opportunity to eat it. Like… Wow… This is so yummm…. *Takes a bite… Wowww… I’ve never tasted anything like this….. It’s soo good!!!!

Just don’t say this loudly or you may never be allowed to enter the shop again!😂

But you get the point right?!

Hedonic adaptation is the way you adapt to new changes quickly and it doesn’t feel so interesting afterwards

So gratitude comes to your rescue even here!

See… I told you I’m gonna brainwash you into practicing gratitude.

So tell me… Was I successful in my mission? 😁

And lastly….

.

I am scared of you making me happy. I am afraid that in such short time that you are making me so happy, I’ll get used to it. That eventually I’ll stop making myself happy. I don’t want to wake up one day and realise I was so used to your pampering, your care, your love, that you somehow became so important to me that now when you are not here, I can’t do anything on my own. I can’t be happy. I know you won’t stay. At least not forever. When you are gone how will I get over from receiving so much of love and attention to absolutely nothing?

Maybe what they say is true. Maybe I don’t need to give so quickly. Maybe I need to stop loving passionately. But I don’t know how to love without passion. So maybe I shouldn’t love you. Maybe I need to be careful with you, but sometimes I can’t.

Yes, I need breaks from you. To remind myself that I have a different life. To remind myself that you won’t stay forever. To nourish the relationship I have with myself. To realise I am happy even without you.

What’s good?

Pause. Stop criticising for a while. Stop ruminating about how bad you are doing. Stop overthinking about the situation.

Just ask yourself

What’s good?

We hardly take time to see what are the good things that are happening with us.

No really, ask yourself What’s good that happened today?

What’s good that happened last week?

What’s good that is happening right now?

Maybe it’s the great family dinner you had last week, maybe it’s your favorite dish your mom cooked for you yesterday, maybe it’s sharing quality time with your best friend today.

Talk about these things!

Notice them.

Appreciate that.

Share your happy memories 💕

The best way to multiply your happiness, is to share it with others.

Next time when you meet someone don’t ask them how they are doing and how was their day… Ask them – What’s good?

Grow together

If we are in a relationship, I don’t expect you to be the same you were when we met. I want you to grow with me. Life throws challenges at us, if we want to do better, we’ve to become better and grow together.

After some years…we may not be the same we are now. But let’s hope, we become a better and happier and more successful couple than we are now.

My first crush

Okay, so it’s just like other normal “first” crushes… I got butterflies in my stomach when he looked at me, my heart leaped with joy when I knew he was coming to the party we were going, I was nervous when he came to talk to me, I dressed up like I was going on a date when going to meet the group of friends where he’d be too…. I also made some stupid mistakes in front of him and gave him the opportunity to laugh at me!! But that was in a good way (at least I like to think so!)

He was the coolest guy in our class, in highschool. Every single girl would be willing to date him, you know the cutest guy in class who charms everyone.. Yep! He was that!

Every love song reminded me of him.. esp the “pehla nasha” and “kuch kuch hota hai…”

That was crazy! When you are small you always compare your love story with those shown in movies..

He actually was like the hero in movies… He talked sweetly, had a great group of friends, played cricket, good at sports and had girls always around him. I still remember all the girls from our class used to cheer for him on the Sports Day. (and of course he used to win..)

He actually wasn’t my type at all! I was the studious one.. at least in school 😅.. teachers favorite, not so good at sports, browsing library all the time, not so actively talking to boys… You get the idea.

But he did talk to me! I gave him notes when he missed classes due to his cricket tournaments.. we used to exchange normal hi-hello as I came to my desk everyday (he always sat behind me or just in front of me)

I remember looking at him when anyone cracked a joke in class…. It was so good to see him laugh!

Then he used to be surrounded by girls during lunch time and I was jealous!😜

At that time I didn’t have Instagram to send me the quote “Stop having relationship problems with someone you’re not in relationship with”😂

I was class monitor at that time. Teacher assigned me the task of writing down names of students who were talking during lectures (you know… The most boring job in the world!)

One day, I had to write his name too! (Yes, unwillingly)

During lunch break, I was sitting on my desk and doing my homework… When he came and sat next to me!

“Hi Vru!” He said in his sweet voice

I was so nervous!!! I slowly looked at him.. he was flashing me his most charming smile

I pulled away quickly. Trying hardddd not to blush… I asked him “hey! What’s up?”

I was grinning ear to ear

“I heard you wrote my name as well… Can you please not tell my name? I was just asking Priya about the homework last week”

“I can’t” I said meekly

“Alright then,” he said with a grin

“I won’t get up until you erase my name”

Whattttt???

“If that’s the case, I’ll never ever erase your name… Sit next to me forever” I SCREAMED!

In my mind.. of course!

But I needed to get out of my beautiful dreamland and answer him now..

Guess what?

I did as he said! I know…. It was wrong.. but I couldn’t help it… It wasn’t that important anyway… But you know… Crushes have an unfair advantage!😉

That’s all!

We never got past that seeing eachother-and-smiling-like-a-idiot phase.

But that’s also beautiful.. some things aren’t meant to end (so they never start) they just leave a imprint in your memory to be remembered forever…..

Things that happen when your bff gets engaged

So this is the thing about best friends – They are meant for each other. They are soulmates. They are there for each other when no one was. They are comfortable with each other and can be their craziest, weirdest self in front of each other. Everything goes well until……. One of them gets engaged!

Recently my bff got engaged.

And I was like…..

“Yeah okay…. She’s engaged, but we will still be there for each other. Our bond will be as good as it was.” At least that’s what I told myself.

Then reality hits hard.

When you plan to hangout with your bestie she replies – “Hey, I’m so sorry I can’t come. I’m on a date! I’ll tell you how it goes, okay bye!”

And you’re like – “Omg! This is happening for 7 times in a row now. This is the exact same person who called me when she forgot her Hall ticket on the examination day, when she got dumped by her boyfriend last year, when she is having arguments with her parents,…. Every single time I was there for her! I was her go-to person! Now you have to take her appointment to meet her????”

Earlier when you guys met, the topics would be planning trips, gossips, sharing progress about the projects we’re working on, interesting stuff you did this week and so on…

Now when you hangout – she talks about her boyfriend, and college and her boyfriend and the food and her boyfriend and his interests and… If nothing else… She calls him and they start talking

That’s one of those times when you look at her and think about how can you kill her….. (Just kidding… But not kidding :p)

Then comes a time when she tells you to click her pics…. With her boyfriend!

You shot her a mean look, which she ignores. As you click the pic, in your mind you are hitting her boyfriend for taking your place in her pics.

Then sometimes she drags you to buy gifts for him, you know the romantic cheesy stuff…

You actually don’t do anything, just try to control your urge to sleep and watch her as she selects gifts… And wonder what’s wrong with her!

When they have fights, you are the one who has to stay up whole night analysing the situation and figure out who’s wrong and in the end convince her that she deserves a better guy… :p but she doesn’t listen to you… As always… sigh*

When they get back together…it all starts again!

Ugh!!!

Then you start getting thoughts like ” I am the only one who’s left behind.. literally everyone around me is engaged (just your bestie, but you know she’s your world) Should I date Amit? I know he likes me.. but he’s too clingy… Then Vinay? No.. he’s good but he’s always busy! Umm… Rahul? Yeah.. he’s been my crush for a long time. But I don’t think we get along well, we are from totally different worlds! Besides he moved out of the city last year. How can I show her how it feels when she does all this torture to me when my boyfriend isn’t even in the city! Aahhhhh! It feels like love triangle. Except me and my best friend love each other and her boyfriend is messing around!😂”

*phone buzzes

Oh… A text from her –

“We broke up”

How I really feel – 😀

What I show – 😥


So this was a fun write up I came up with! We have to do research this year in psychology and me and my friends were discussing about it and this came up!

How best friends behave when one of them gets engaged and the other person is left behind.

Like seriously, when you are the center of someone’s world and you feel good about it and then suddenly someone else comes up and takes your place just like that!

Research toh banta hai! :p

What do you think guys? I’m sure you must’ve been in this situation at some point. How did you feel? What did you do?

Share in the comments below!

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