Feeding ego or caring for others?

He was online.

I texted “hey”

One minute.

Two minutes.

Three minutes.

Four minutes.

Five minutes.

No reply.

Still online.

What was he doing?

He’s my boyfriend, is he talking to some other girl?

Maybe he’s busy.

So busy that he can’t even reply after 5 whole minutes?

Oh! He saw the message

Close his chat

Okay he’s typing


What? Just hi?

No apology? Sorry or anything?

He thinks I’m free?

Is he taking me for granted?


I shouldn’t see his message soon.

I’ll make him wait.

5 mins?

10 mins?

Oh wait! He’s offline

What the hell?

He should wait for me

Why should I wait for him again?

This was the conversation going on in my mind.

Yesterday when my partner texted me a little late, all these things came to my mind.

I had this strange urge to take revenge. Not something big and scary but treating him the way he treated me. (Tbh it wasn’t his fault)

Doesn’t this happen to us?

Someone, especially our partner does something small and we get maddd. (coz we have such high expectations from them)

We don’t bother to ask what was the reason.

Our immediate impulse reaction is to take revenge. Do the same thing to them.

How silly and stupid that sounds?!

I mean this type of behavior is encouraged so much these days due to media. People making issue about little things that don’t even matter. But we make issue of everything.

Just because we want to feel important.

We want to satisfy our ego.

But is it really that important?

Even at the cost of your relationship?

Few days back I read a book by Deepak Chopra, it’s called “The Ultimate Happiness Prescription”.

Here’s a paragraph from this I could completely relate to –

1. Ego feels isolated and alone. Therefore it needs outside validation in order to belong and have worth.

2. The ego feels limited and bounded. Without power and control over others, it fears that it’s helplessness will be exposed.

And in the same book I read following quotes –

The conditions that make ego happy turn out to make who you really are very unhappy. There is no joy in being in charge, no love in controlling others, no expansion in defending the line between right and wrong.

– Deepak Chopra


Sometimes love is blocked by the need to be right,to cling to your own viewpoint instead of surrendering to what love would do.

– Deepak Chopra

After remembering this I let go of my anger and replied to him.

He was actually checking some important notice on WhatsApp and reading it to his parents.

I realised I was wrong and thought too much.

I won’t lie sometimes I do get desparate and want to know what’s going on, I do have these negative thoughts. But I don’t act on those anymore.

I try to stay patient and things become clear eventually.

When we try to satisfy ego, we might loose what really matters to us – people.

17 responses to “Feeding ego or caring for others?”

  1. Well said. I guess everyone goes through this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! Many a times 😅
      Thanks for reading Karen 🙂


  2. This often happens with me. Agree with everything you have said. Once anger and ego takes over things start to go bad. There are so many things. We expect others to behave with us the way we behave with them. As much importance we give, we expect the same response from them.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. This is very common with all couples, specially with girls. I feel, we think too deep, at times unnecessarily. I gave up this habit long back as I was wrong in most of the times. Trust me, things are way more better when we opt for pragmatic approach 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you Sakshi!! 🙂


  4. It was quite relatable. Awesome post…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you!! So glad you liked it ☺️

      Liked by 1 person

  5. 🙂 One should not be so free after all 🙂


    1. I hope you didn’t actually mean that she should keep herself busy so that she won’t focus on checking for his messages everytime~ if yes then i would like to correct you and say that those who care will care no matter how busy they are! They just make time for everything or least they try bcs every single thing means alot to them … be it a work, a boyfriend or a blog … etc whatever …

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Love Never Requires
    Worship or Fears
    But of
    Course That
    is Agape Love…
    It’s Natural For
    The Romance.. The
    Eros of Young Love
    to Become Jealous
    As it’s true Evolutionary
    Speaking there is a Lot at
    Stake deep down the Necessity
    of Spreading Our Genes our Shadow
    Mind Feels and Senses the Importance
    to Carry
    on Our
    but Technically
    What Happens with
    Love is Dopamine And Oxytocin
    Are Boosted in Romance but
    Serotonin is Subject to Drop
    In Trust And Self-Esteem
    Like We Are Not
    The Best
    For the
    Love We WANT
    to Carry On.. and oh
    my Goodness.. if Our Biology
    Wasn’t Naturally so difficult to deal with
    This way as the Eros of Romantic Love
    Truly is Described well as Falling Falling
    in Love Where Nothing is More Important
    Than Bonding Always With Your Loved one
    Now to Keep that Loved One in total Grasp
    of Never ever going away.. True it’s
    Natural to feel that way
    Again as it is the
    Shadow of
    Our Biology
    For Survival
    Speaking Deepest
    in Feelings and Senses
    For Survival Most.. but anyway
    Our modern World is FULL OF SO MANY
    there is the
    and Comfort
    of the Love
    Oxytocin and
    Lust Hormones
    too but Dopamine is
    the Pleasure Neurochemical
    That Even a Bright Colored Screen
    Brings alone.. so in Other Words Now Young
    Lovers have all of online as a provider of Dopamine
    to compete with.. true, Pornography too.. and yes true
    more opportunities than ever as the ‘Fish of the Ocean’
    Come to Surface Everywhere more than ever in Competing
    Potential Loves For Real… The Truth is my FRiEnD, We Honestly
    As Human Beings are Just Not Evolved for this Challenge Our Shadow
    (Lust, Jealousy, Aggression, Envy, Pride, all the Fear Stuff)
    gets out
    of control
    as it becomes
    Just too much
    to really control…
    These Challenges are
    Real.. Our Shadow is Stronger
    For Survival than Any Construct of
    Ego.. i will honestly say.. i am glad i fell
    in Love First when Life was boring and all there
    Was to do was Sing the Dialogue of Puppy Dog
    Eyes Talk for Hours on End ‘i love you more NO
    i love YOU more’.. as truly there was nothing possibly better to do…
    Lord Knows
    i forgot about
    School.. i forgot
    About Working out..
    My Job as a Janitor
    So Easy where i didn’t
    even have to Think, TG…
    All there was then is ‘Love
    You More’.. but You know
    what… i got so lost in Love
    i almost had no way
    to Climb out
    The Day
    Said ‘So Long BYE’
    (at least, she couldn’t
    ‘ghost me’; no Caller
    ID or even Answering
    Machines back in 1979)
    on the Dance Floor Then
    When “After the Love is Gone”
    A Song by Earth Wind and Fire
    Was Singing.. i suppose the good
    thing about all this distraction now is it may
    be easier
    to bounce
    back at the
    Bottom of Falling in Love…
    Indeed, After the Love is Gone..
    as in all stuff Life in Ways Dark
    is Light and Light is Dark but
    my God those Hours Long
    Conversations that were
    just ‘i Love you more
    than You
    Indeed, became
    the Truth for me..
    but you know what
    there is nothing wrong
    with being the Last of the Love Left Standing
    And it’s true it’s Nature’s Way for ‘them’ to go away…

    Here’s Another Thing, Humans are Evolved, Overall, for
    Around 150 Acquaintances in Life and 5 Truly Close
    Intimate Friends; No, Not 5 Thousand Facebook
    Friends, Hehe; keeping track of News Feeds
    From That Many folks (Impossible of
    Course) with no time left
    for 5 Close Friends;
    And then there is
    What’s App,
    Tik Tok,
    Snap chat,
    Oh Yeah
    And Twitter,
    And for Dudes
    a lot of Pornography
    too as Science Shows
    no matter who is saying
    what 98 Percent of Dudes
    Are Looking and 73 Percent
    of Ladies too; so where is the
    Room Left for ‘i Love You More than
    You Love me for Hours on End’; Modern
    Science also Shows, Humans on Average NOW
    Have the Attention Span of Less than THREE
    SECONDS NOW; Literally Less than a Gold Fish;

    Gosh when
    We Start Counting
    All the Bits and Bytes of
    Life We Consume it’s Not hard
    to see that we are not doing what
    we are really only Evolved to Do; Pay
    Attention to One Task in Flow With No
    Distractions at all; very rarely, do i ever find
    anyone with even the possibility to Pay attention
    to what i do; like, i said before, you are one of Under
    20 Out of Thousands of Interactions in the Last 7
    Years who hasn’t just become overwhelmed
    by the Volume of my Breath online or in Real
    Life too; but you see, i, for most folks am
    just too ‘big’ to see; and what that
    means is i have
    the Opportunity
    to focus
    and evolve
    on the Task
    i am doing now;

    Hence, hehe; i am Giving
    Vrunda all my Undivided
    Attention as i don’t have
    A Zillion Notifications
    From Acquaintances Now
    in Smaller Talk Ways of Life…

    But Again, i come from a Place
    of “i love You more than you Love
    me” for Hours on end totally focused
    on that one Person then.. and You know
    What else my Wife is Just as Exciting and
    Attractive as She Was 31 Years ago when
    We really ‘Hooked’ Up on September 21st
    That Year.. in 1989, 10 Whole Years Later After
    my First Love Left me then; My Wife Looks
    a Lot Like Her, Half Pacific Islander; not Half
    Cuban like the First Girl Friend but true my Wife
    is so much More Beautiful, Sincerely Kind, Loving
    So Much that She looks the way she did 31 years ago…

    As That
    is What
    True Love
    Does it Never
    Ages and The
    Truth is True Love
    Always Loves the
    Other More No matter
    What comes back that
    my Dear Takes the Focus
    of Love When We Make Love Number
    One and remember i forgot that at Work
    For Decades when i was married
    then How fortunate i am i came
    back to
    Age of
    “Giving More than You”, again…
    back on 7.19.2013 on the Beach a Real
    Miracle As Pain and Numb from
    19 Life Threatening Medical
    Disorders from So Much
    Stress in the Last
    11 Years of
    Melting away
    After i was Shut-in Ill for
    66 Months before i Danced
    in Public, 13,653 Miles and
    Wrote an Epic Long Form
    Poem of 8.4 MiLLioN
    Words in the Same
    Measure of Human

    CLocK TiME the 7 Last Years…

    True as Your Unconditional
    Friend, i want nothing less for You..

    It’s True, ‘After the Love Is Gone’
    Was a Tough Song to Listen to
    For Years by ‘Earth, Wind,
    And Fire’, but it’s
    Also True i
    Will Never
    the “21st of “September”, 1989, A Miracle
    And My True LoVE For Real’ Then Now
    My God It’s Like “Earth, Wind, And Fire”
    Wrote Those Two Songs Just For me;
    But You Know What; You Feel What;
    You Sense What; They Truly Did
    As True Love is Never
    Separate Among All
    of Creation As
    Namaste yes!
    It includes
    All Creativity
    That Comes from
    A Place True in Light of Love And Dark too..:)


  7. I do agree that it’s totally relatable 🙈 but I wish mister Boyfriend or Mr husband would know we would be waiting and worrying and just find a way to send a quick message so we know he is not delibrately ignoring our messages~ 🙈 Thank you so much dear~ 💖🥰


  8. It’s all about communication. You should not rely on messaging apps is what I would advise when it comes to handling relationships. Some people do not prefer written communication and may avoid it with ease without thinking of how others will feel. So better you communicate directly in person or on phone 😉 PS – I don’t like it though when people do not reply for eternity. 😂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. True… But ajkal people are busy… Exams ahet na… So aise hi kaam chalana padta h 😂😂
      Anyway thank you for your comment! After ages…. Me mhantla kuthe gayab zhalas…
      P.S – I get mad even when they don’t reply for 5 mins…. But not always…. And I’m working on that! Haha


  9. Ego ruins relationships.


  10. Very well said and relatable this often comes in our time and mistakes could happen but as a true lover i used to apologise for my happens, and i think this is the only thing my relationship is going very well.
    Thanks for sharing
    I have also written something about ego and sorry hope you love it


  11. […] Feeding ego or caring for others? — Vrunda Chauk […]

    Liked by 1 person

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