He was online.
I texted “hey”
One minute.
Two minutes.
Three minutes.
Four minutes.
Five minutes.
No reply.
Still online.
What was he doing?
He’s my boyfriend, is he talking to some other girl?
Maybe he’s busy.
So busy that he can’t even reply after 5 whole minutes?
Oh! He saw the message
Close his chat
Okay he’s typing
“Hi”
What? Just hi?
No apology? Sorry or anything?
He thinks I’m free?
Is he taking me for granted?
Hmm
I shouldn’t see his message soon.
I’ll make him wait.
5 mins?
10 mins?
Oh wait! He’s offline
What the hell?
He should wait for me
Why should I wait for him again?
This was the conversation going on in my mind.
Yesterday when my partner texted me a little late, all these things came to my mind.
I had this strange urge to take revenge. Not something big and scary but treating him the way he treated me. (Tbh it wasn’t his fault)
Doesn’t this happen to us?
Someone, especially our partner does something small and we get maddd. (coz we have such high expectations from them)
We don’t bother to ask what was the reason.
Our immediate impulse reaction is to take revenge. Do the same thing to them.
How silly and stupid that sounds?!
I mean this type of behavior is encouraged so much these days due to media. People making issue about little things that don’t even matter. But we make issue of everything.
Just because we want to feel important.
We want to satisfy our ego.
But is it really that important?
Even at the cost of your relationship?
Few days back I read a book by Deepak Chopra, it’s called “The Ultimate Happiness Prescription”.
Here’s a paragraph from this I could completely relate to –
1. Ego feels isolated and alone. Therefore it needs outside validation in order to belong and have worth.
2. The ego feels limited and bounded. Without power and control over others, it fears that it’s helplessness will be exposed.
And in the same book I read following quotes –
The conditions that make ego happy turn out to make who you really are very unhappy. There is no joy in being in charge, no love in controlling others, no expansion in defending the line between right and wrong.
– Deepak Chopra
.
Sometimes love is blocked by the need to be right,to cling to your own viewpoint instead of surrendering to what love would do.
– Deepak Chopra
After remembering this I let go of my anger and replied to him.
He was actually checking some important notice on WhatsApp and reading it to his parents.
I realised I was wrong and thought too much.
I won’t lie sometimes I do get desparate and want to know what’s going on, I do have these negative thoughts. But I don’t act on those anymore.
I try to stay patient and things become clear eventually.
When we try to satisfy ego, we might loose what really matters to us – people.
Vrunda Chauk 
Well said. I guess everyone goes through this.
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Yes! Many a times 😅
Thanks for reading Karen 🙂
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This often happens with me. Agree with everything you have said. Once anger and ego takes over things start to go bad. There are so many things. We expect others to behave with us the way we behave with them. As much importance we give, we expect the same response from them.
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This is very common with all couples, specially with girls. I feel, we think too deep, at times unnecessarily. I gave up this habit long back as I was wrong in most of the times. Trust me, things are way more better when we opt for pragmatic approach 🙂
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Well said
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Thank you Sakshi!! 🙂
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It was quite relatable. Awesome post…
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Thank you!! So glad you liked it ☺️
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🙂 One should not be so free after all 🙂
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I hope you didn’t actually mean that she should keep herself busy so that she won’t focus on checking for his messages everytime~ if yes then i would like to correct you and say that those who care will care no matter how busy they are! They just make time for everything or least they try bcs every single thing means alot to them … be it a work, a boyfriend or a blog … etc whatever …
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Love Never Requires
Worship or Fears
Criticism
But of
Course That
is Agape Love…
It’s Natural For
The Romance.. The
Eros of Young Love
to Become Jealous
As it’s true Evolutionary
Speaking there is a Lot at
Stake deep down the Necessity
of Spreading Our Genes our Shadow
Mind Feels and Senses the Importance
to Carry
on Our
Breath;
but Technically
What Happens with
Love is Dopamine And Oxytocin
Are Boosted in Romance but
Serotonin is Subject to Drop
In Trust And Self-Esteem
Like We Are Not
The Best
For the
Love We WANT
to Carry On.. and oh
my Goodness.. if Our Biology
Wasn’t Naturally so difficult to deal with
This way as the Eros of Romantic Love
Truly is Described well as Falling Falling
in Love Where Nothing is More Important
Than Bonding Always With Your Loved one
Now to Keep that Loved One in total Grasp
of Never ever going away.. True it’s
Natural to feel that way
Again as it is the
Shadow of
Our Biology
For Survival
Speaking Deepest
in Feelings and Senses
For Survival Most.. but anyway
Our modern World is FULL OF SO MANY
DISTRACTIONS ABOVE AND BEYOND SO FAR
AWAY FROM EVEN JUST WORK AND SCHOOL…
there is the
Attraction
and Comfort
of the Love
Neurohormone
Oxytocin and
Lust Hormones
too but Dopamine is
the Pleasure Neurochemical
That Even a Bright Colored Screen
Brings alone.. so in Other Words Now Young
Lovers have all of online as a provider of Dopamine
to compete with.. true, Pornography too.. and yes true
more opportunities than ever as the ‘Fish of the Ocean’
Come to Surface Everywhere more than ever in Competing
Potential Loves For Real… The Truth is my FRiEnD, We Honestly
As Human Beings are Just Not Evolved for this Challenge Our Shadow
(Lust, Jealousy, Aggression, Envy, Pride, all the Fear Stuff)
gets out
of control
as it becomes
Just too much
to really control…
These Challenges are
Real.. Our Shadow is Stronger
For Survival than Any Construct of
Ego.. i will honestly say.. i am glad i fell
in Love First when Life was boring and all there
Was to do was Sing the Dialogue of Puppy Dog
Eyes Talk for Hours on End ‘i love you more NO
i love YOU more’.. as truly there was nothing possibly better to do…
Lord Knows
i forgot about
School.. i forgot
About Working out..
My Job as a Janitor
So Easy where i didn’t
even have to Think, TG…
All there was then is ‘Love
You More’.. but You know
what… i got so lost in Love
i almost had no way
to Climb out
The Day
She
Suddenly
Said ‘So Long BYE’
(at least, she couldn’t
‘ghost me’; no Caller
ID or even Answering
Machines back in 1979)
on the Dance Floor Then
When “After the Love is Gone”
A Song by Earth Wind and Fire
Was Singing.. i suppose the good
thing about all this distraction now is it may
be easier
to bounce
back at the
Bottom of Falling in Love…
Indeed, After the Love is Gone..
as in all stuff Life in Ways Dark
is Light and Light is Dark but
my God those Hours Long
Conversations that were
just ‘i Love you more
than You
Love
me’
Indeed, became
the Truth for me..
but you know what
there is nothing wrong
with being the Last of the Love Left Standing
And it’s true it’s Nature’s Way for ‘them’ to go away…
Here’s Another Thing, Humans are Evolved, Overall, for
Around 150 Acquaintances in Life and 5 Truly Close
Intimate Friends; No, Not 5 Thousand Facebook
Friends, Hehe; keeping track of News Feeds
From That Many folks (Impossible of
Course) with no time left
for 5 Close Friends;
And then there is
What’s App,
Messenger,
Tik Tok,
Snap chat,
Oh Yeah
Instagram,
And Twitter,
And for Dudes
a lot of Pornography
too as Science Shows
no matter who is saying
what 98 Percent of Dudes
Are Looking and 73 Percent
of Ladies too; so where is the
Room Left for ‘i Love You More than
You Love me for Hours on End’; Modern
Science also Shows, Humans on Average NOW
Have the Attention Span of Less than THREE
SECONDS NOW; Literally Less than a Gold Fish;
Why;
Gosh when
We Start Counting
All the Bits and Bytes of
Life We Consume it’s Not hard
to see that we are not doing what
we are really only Evolved to Do; Pay
Attention to One Task in Flow With No
Distractions at all; very rarely, do i ever find
anyone with even the possibility to Pay attention
to what i do; like, i said before, you are one of Under
20 Out of Thousands of Interactions in the Last 7
Years who hasn’t just become overwhelmed
by the Volume of my Breath online or in Real
Life too; but you see, i, for most folks am
just too ‘big’ to see; and what that
means is i have
the Opportunity
to focus
and evolve
on the Task
i am doing now;
Hence, hehe; i am Giving
Vrunda all my Undivided
Attention as i don’t have
A Zillion Notifications
From Acquaintances Now
in Smaller Talk Ways of Life…
But Again, i come from a Place
of “i love You more than you Love
me” for Hours on end totally focused
on that one Person then.. and You know
What else my Wife is Just as Exciting and
Attractive as She Was 31 Years ago when
We really ‘Hooked’ Up on September 21st
That Year.. in 1989, 10 Whole Years Later After
my First Love Left me then; My Wife Looks
a Lot Like Her, Half Pacific Islander; not Half
Cuban like the First Girl Friend but true my Wife
is so much More Beautiful, Sincerely Kind, Loving
So Much that She looks the way she did 31 years ago…
As That
is What
True Love
Does it Never
Ages and The
Truth is True Love
Always Loves the
Other More No matter
What comes back that
my Dear Takes the Focus
of Love When We Make Love Number
One and remember i forgot that at Work
For Decades when i was married
then How fortunate i am i came
back to
a
Golden
Age of
“Giving More than You”, again…
My God Just Like BEING REBORN AGAIN
back on 7.19.2013 on the Beach a Real
Miracle As Pain and Numb from
19 Life Threatening Medical
Disorders from So Much
Stress in the Last
11 Years of
Work
Melting away
A REAL MIRACLE TRUE
After i was Shut-in Ill for
66 Months before i Danced
in Public, 13,653 Miles and
Wrote an Epic Long Form
Poem of 8.4 MiLLioN
Words in the Same
Measure of Human
CLocK TiME the 7 Last Years…
True as Your Unconditional
Friend, i want nothing less for You..
It’s True, ‘After the Love Is Gone’
Was a Tough Song to Listen to
For Years by ‘Earth, Wind,
And Fire’, but it’s
Also True i
Will Never
Forget
the “21st of “September”, 1989, A Miracle
And My True LoVE For Real’ Then Now
My God It’s Like “Earth, Wind, And Fire”
Wrote Those Two Songs Just For me;
But You Know What; You Feel What;
You Sense What; They Truly Did
As True Love is Never
Separate Among All
of Creation As
Namaste yes!
It includes
All Creativity
That Comes from
A Place True in Light of Love And Dark too..:)
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I do agree that it’s totally relatable 🙈 but I wish mister Boyfriend or Mr husband would know we would be waiting and worrying and just find a way to send a quick message so we know he is not delibrately ignoring our messages~ 🙈 Thank you so much dear~ 💖🥰
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It’s all about communication. You should not rely on messaging apps is what I would advise when it comes to handling relationships. Some people do not prefer written communication and may avoid it with ease without thinking of how others will feel. So better you communicate directly in person or on phone 😉 PS – I don’t like it though when people do not reply for eternity. 😂
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True… But ajkal people are busy… Exams ahet na… So aise hi kaam chalana padta h 😂😂
Anyway thank you for your comment! After ages…. Me mhantla kuthe gayab zhalas…
P.S – I get mad even when they don’t reply for 5 mins…. But not always…. And I’m working on that! Haha
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Ego ruins relationships.
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Very well said and relatable this often comes in our time and mistakes could happen but as a true lover i used to apologise for my happens, and i think this is the only thing my relationship is going very well.
Thanks for sharing
I have also written something about ego and sorry hope you love it
Deepak…..
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