Happiness in little things

Worst day ever

Today was absolute worst day ever

And don’t try to convince me that

There’s something good in every day

Because when you take a closer look

This world is a pretty evil place.

Even if

Some goodness does shine through once in a while

Satisfaction and happiness don’t last.

And it’s not true that

It’s all in the mind and heart

Because

True happiness can be obtained

Only if one’s surroundings are good

It’s not true that good exists

I’m sure you can agree that

The reality

Creates

My attitude

It’s all beyond my control

And you’ll never in a million years hear me say that

Today was a good day

*Now read from bottom to the top

-Chanie Gorkin

It’s always amazing to see the wonderful magic words can create.

The complete meaning of the poem changes when you read from bottom to top.

That’s just all about life.

It’s not about where you look, it’s about what you choose to see.

Even if in your whole day you did nothing good but came home and met your mom and ate the food she prepared, guess what?

You’re blessed!

If you really go on looking for good things in life, you will find millions of things! We really don’t pay that much attention to good things.

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Berné Brown is a psychologist. She did 12 years of research in psychology. She interviewed people who have been through horrific things, loss of children, violence, trauma. And she asked them what was the hardest loss?

And they never talked about the extraordinary things, they said I miss the ordinary moments. Like “I miss hearing the door slam and know my husband’s home from work, I miss my kids fighting in the backyard, I miss the way my wife set the table”

These are the moments which are right in front of our eyes everyday.

Why not stop and say – “Thank God, I’m grateful for this”

It’s the heartfelt gratitude that brings joy and it’s that joy that brings happiness.

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You cannot win competitions everyday to be happy, you cannot throw parties everyday to be happy, you cannot wait for this amazing new thing to happen in order to be happy.

You have happiness and joy right in front of you, just open your eyes and see!

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Simple recipe for happiness –

Step 1 – List down the things that being you joy. It can be little things. Like – playing guitar, dancing to Taylor Swift’s songs, baking a cake, drawing something, listening music, cuddling in a warm blanket and reading your favourite book….

Do as many things today as you can from that list.

Step 2 – Do something good for others. Like – bring flowers for your mom, help your dad with work, give chocolates to your younger brother or sister, make plans to spend time with your friends…

These small things bring immense joy and happiness

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Happiness is little things

Happiness is little things,

A book, a cup of tea,

A card or letter in the mail,

Especially for me.

To see a rosebush in full bloom,
Be warmed by glowing sun;
To snuggle in a cozy bed
When the day is done.

A good night’s rest, a brand new day,
The warmth of friendly hand;
A note, a smile, a touch, a hug,
Someone to understand.

Days of hope and hours of love,
Savoring each minute;
Happiness is in your heart
If thankfulness is in it.

– Viola Jacobson Berg

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I saw a video yesterday in which, Taylor Swift was saying this in her concert –

You need to look into the mirror in the morning and not tell yourself that you’re not good enough.

Here are the things you are actually not –
• You are not the opinion of somebody who doesn’t know you
• You are not damaged goods just because you’ve made mistakes in your life.
• You are not going nowhere just because you haven’t gotten where you want to go, yet.

Now I want to tell you things you really are –
• You are your own definition of beautiful and worthwhile.
• You are someone who’s wiser because you’ve made mistakes. Not damaged, wiser
• You are somebody who is going through stressful times and still has the ability to go on with things.

It’s not about perfection.
Sometimes it’s just about going on with things. Sometimes you get just get credit for getting up and going on with things.

– Taylor Swift

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Wishing you all a cheerful International Happiness Day!!

Hope you guys have a beautiful and blessed day ahead! 💖🌈💖

And don’t forget to smile! 😊

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Note to self – 3 (healthy perspective)

There are so many ways to look at things. In fact there are many many different perspectives about one single thing.

Sometimes we don’t know the truth or we partially know the truth and we assume the rest.

For example –
You didn’t get selected in a interview.

There can be many reasons!

What do you tell yourself?

What are your thoughts?

“I’m not good enough.. I don’t have the necessary skills… I don’t think I’ll ever get the job”

Now these can be your immediate thoughts… I get it. 90% people might have this as their first response

But problem arises when you stick to those thoughts for… days, months or even years!

Can you imagine? You let that one single failure, one problem, one thought define your entire life.

You need to ask yourself –

Will thinking in this way help me?

Here’s “the story” you need to tell yourself –

Dear me,

I think you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. There are so many other ways to look at this.

I realise this is not the end of the world. I have many chances ahead of me. I won’t give up.

I’m just getting started. I might face some difficulties but I need to keep going and hope for the best.

I believe it’s me who has the power to choose my perspective. I choose the optimistic perspective. It may or may not turn out well, but its much better than having pessimist attitude and giving up.

By looking at the bright side I will at least get the motivation to keep going. Which I need the most right now.

And who knows…
Some problems are a blessing in disguise! 😉

You are blessed honey!

With love,
Me

One simple thing you can do right now to improve your life

Believe it or not, the company you keep matters. A lot.

If you’re constantly surrounded by pessimistic people, guess what, after a while even you start imitating them. This happens, unless you try very very hard to stay optimistic because negative behaviours can be learnt quickly.

There’s this concept of mirroring in psychology.

Where you learn or imitate the behaviour of people around you knowingly or unknowingly.

How can you use this to your advantage?

Well, it’s simple!

Be in company of people who inspire you, who support your growth and who guide you in the right direction, who trust you and bring out the best in you.

Now as they say –

You’re the average of five people you spend most of your time with

I’ll tell you which of the five people you should surround yourself with –

1. Be with people around whom you feel loved and valued.

This can be your parents, or your friends or your partner. Anyone with whom you feel loved and valued.

2. Be with someone who makes you laugh and enjoy little things. Someone who makes you smile and appreciates you.

This can be your sibling or your best friend.

3. Be with someone who trusts you and whom you can trust. No matter what, you know you guys have got each other’s back.

(Now speaking of these qualities, you might know at least one person with whom these qualities resonate. Someone who makes you smile, some other person whom you can trust completely, someone else who makes you feel loved, etc.)

4. Be with someone who inspires you and motivates you and brings out the best in you.

Okay so this person can be hard to find.

But let me tell you, it’s not necessary that these people should be someone you know personally or have met them. They can also be your role models.

Someone you look up to. Someone who you want to be like. Someone you deeply admire.

Now even if you surround yourself with the ideas, the principles, the values these people have implemented in their life, it works. You slowly start thinking like them, you try to imitate their principles in your own life.

And believe me, that improves your life!

Imagine you’re constantly watching everything about Oprah Winfrey, Swami Vivekananda, or Gary Vee (let’s say they are your role models) So you are watching many videos of them on YouTube, you’re watching their shows. You are reading about them, reading their books.

What will happen after some time?

Your thinking patterns will change, your attitude changes, your perception about things change, you start acting differently, you start growing.

5. Be with someone who can guide you in the right direction in difficult times.

This can be your “therapist” friend, a mentor or a actual therapist. Someone who helps you gain clarity about situations and helps you take the right decision.

I don’t know how many people will agree with me, but I’ve found books to guide me as well. Self help books and even some fantasy novels have great messages. I could relate to those characters and understand their life.

These people help you understand certain things, especially when you need it the most.

Be careful about whom you choose as this person because when you are sad, depressed or angry, it’s very easy for a wrong person to drag you into a wrong behaviour.

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I have found this to work in my personal life.

The moment I started focusing on myself and setting healthy boundaries and surrounding myself with people who bring out the best in me, I’ve seen myself change in a very good way.

When I started reading more about inspiring people, gathering more information about them and started applying their tips for success, I felt great!

I felt like I’m learning from them and slowly applying that in my own life and seeing the results.

I also started choosing whom to spend most of my time with and I found I was much happier and satisfied with my life than before.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not telling you to be picky and only choose the people whom you can benefit from, no! It’s good to have connection with different people, it’s nice to have them as your friends.

But, prioritise your time for those who really help you grow, who really matter. Because you have limited time.

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Moral of the story – The company you keep matters. Choose the right people and see the drastic and quick improvement in your life.

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Who are your role models? Do you “spend” more time with them? Do you feel the change in your mindset and actions?

Let me know in the comments below!!

Thank you for reading guys!❤️

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Keep shining, keep smiling! 🙂

©Vrunda Chauk 2019

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