It’s all about the journey

Will you be happy after winning a lottery?

Hell yes!

Let me rephrase

How long do you think you will be happy after winning lottery of 5 million dollars?

Maybe you need it a lot

And you think you will be happy forever…

At least for many years…


Research was done on lottery winners to see how long their happiness lasted.

To their surprise and opposite of what they predicted,

They returned to their baseline level of happiness within six months or a year.

It means they eventually became as happy as they were before winning the lottery.

This sounds surprising, doesn’t it?

But it is true.

Now we all think we will have different experience if we win a lottery.

(we think – I know mostly people don’t sustain happiness for long term, but I know I will. I will make some strategic moves… And my life will be different! Changed for the better……)

So let’s take a simple example –

Remember the last time you bought something that you thought will make you sooooooo happy!

For me it will be buying Mickey’s Tee shirt and some cute Disney accessories (kidding! Not!)

Haha

So anyway…

Remember the time you bought something you really wanted to have… Since long time… (no, not a puppy)

You felt happy for maybe like one month or so…

What happens after that?

You don’t feel the same level of happiness after some time

Maybe after some days, you don’t even look at the thing you brought….

Why is that?

Because of what we call in psychology – Hedonic Adaptation

It means that you adapt eventually to new circumstances in your life

And they don’t excite you that much after a point of time

If we think it like this..

Should we really have goals? And work our ass off so hard for goals that won’t even contribute to our happiness after some point?

Hmmmm….

Actually, we should.

Not for the end result, but for the joy and happiness we feel while striving towards those goals.

That’s why they say – Enjoy the journey!

You will be happy when you reach the destination

(Maybe that happiness will also fade quickly, but enjoying the process will make you feel satisfied and fulfilled)

And research also suggests that when you experience joy along the journey towards your goals, your well-being increases.

Do you know what makes you happy?

When will you be happy?

Think about it….

Maybe you’d come up with something like – when I get a nice job, when my boyfriend stops fighting with me, when my book gets published, when…..

Okay.

Can you be happy right now?

Umm… Idk maybe…

What can make you happy right now?

A pizza!

Hahaha… I know you were thinking something similar….

Or maybe a dog

Or maybe cat

Or maybe your best friend


Yesterday I talked to my friend and she said there is so much trouble going on right now…

I’d be so happy if this all just ends..

And I thought about it…

Do good things really happen when bad things stop happening?

She was right at her place… When everything around you sucks hurts, you might feel like things will be much better and you would be happier without all this

But are you really happy when bad things stop happening?

No!

You won’t have a pizza if you are not eating vegetables

You might have something else!

What I mean is, we focus too much to making the bad stuff around us go away….

We try to make things right

And that’s okay!

Completely okay

But we’re under illusion that this will make us happy

We might feel relief… That okay… Thankfully this is over

But are you really happy?

Nope!

You need some different activities to make you smile…

As Martin Seligman once said that his patients came to him saying ‘I just want to be happy’ what he translated was that ‘you don’t want to feel distressed’ and then after working on the patients anxiety or depression issues, he thought he will get a happy patient… But he didn’t. he got an ’empty patient’. That’s when he said you cannot have mental health and wellbeing just by eliminating depression and mental illness, you need different activities to build wellbeing.


Just because it isn’t raining doesn’t mean there is sunshine

You can work on this…

Think about what really makes you happy and do more of that in your daily life

Take a little break from fixing everything n just be… Create your happiness…

Especially during these challenging times… That’s what you need to do the most πŸŒΌπŸ’–πŸŒ»

But maybe being happy is not your priority right now… Maybe it’s caring for your friend or family member who is struggling. And that is okay, you can take some time to recharge yourself by listening to your favourite song, reading a paragraph from your favourite book or talking with your sister, just do it. Take a little time for yourself too, that way you have more to give others… When your cup is full, then you can fill othersπŸ’—πŸ’•

Patience? What is that?

Uffff

What will happen?

When will it happen?

How will will happen?

Will it even happen?

When exactly?

What if it doesn’t happen?

What if……..

Tooooo many questions

And I don’t know the answer

I’m not even close

Lack of patience… That’s what this is

These days we are so crazy about instant access

We don’t want to wait

When I hear about a good book

I go crazy searching for it online..

I am impatient

I order it right away

When I actually get it

I’m like okay.. that’s a relief

But I don’t read it

Then I find something new to be impatient about

This is becoming a common problem for youngsters these days…

No patience… At allllll!

Our minds are filled with junk of overthinking…

Sometimes it goes to such a length that we think something, over analyse something and it becomes such a huge deal in our mind that when we talk about it or act about it, the person has no idea what is happening…..

We might hurt the person, we might hurt ourselves and everything might go wrong…

I’m just saying

Overthinking, lack of patience is bad…

Most of the times we don’t get clarity about the situation but increase the problems instead…

Maybe we should practice mindfulness and stuff

But then you even need patience to be patient

Haha

Ik we need to work about this…

And practice is the only way we can get better…

I’ve read that for mindfulness you don’t need to actually sit in meditation posture and calm your mind for like half an hour…

It even works if you are just focusing on the present moment for 5 mins

Like when you drink tea for example –

You need be completely in the present moment… Looking at the colour of the tea, feeling it’s warmth, noticing it’s aroma.. feeling the taste….

That is how you mindfully drink tea, or be in the moment

Maybe that’s the easy way to practice it…

Being mindful for at least 5 mins a day

Idk how much this will help…. But we can definitely start from here


I am also planning to listen guided meditation for 15 mins every night before I sleep…

There seems to be too much chaos in my mind….

Hope that will help…

At least I’ll get a peaceful sleep at night πŸ’•


Are you struggling with patience too?

Or are you a pro at mindfulness?

Lemme know your experiences….πŸ’—

Musings

In my school on parents teachers meeting or report day, one thing teachers never forgot to tell..

Where we lack and where we need to improve

Every year for all the years I was in school

I used to hear this “she needs to improve….”

Not just about me

No matter how brilliant the student is…. All the teacher would say was – “she needs to get better at…..”

Sometimes they also used to congratulate on specific achievement the child has earned

But mostly the message was – You need to work on this

Then after going to college

Same system continued with a slight difference

Teachers didn’t care much, they needed their work to be submitted on time… Some discussions about projects.. but never more than that

Then few weeks ago

I read about a fascinating concept called – Positive Education

It is basically application of positive psychology at school level

They focus on what the child is good at

Not where she lacks, but what she already has

Cultivating strengths, building on strengths…

Wow!

What a fascinating concept

I really wish I studied in such school

I wonder how different my life would have been then

How different I would have been now

Just imagine

On parents-teachers meeting teachers are talking about what’s good in that particular child!

Imagine the spark in child’s n parents’ eyes…

How proud.. how happy would they be….

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