3 facts about happiness

If you really think about it…this seems logical right?

Like it cannot be that you are very unhappy and then suddenly you become successful and you boom! Now you’ll be happy for the rest of your life.

Of course you will get a large happiness boost. But after some time you will get used to your changed lifestyle and things won’t excite you that much.

You will be back to your normal self.

But those who are happy most of the time are more likely to be successful!

Coz of course you want to pursue things when you are happy, you have a optimistic outlook that everything will work out, you don’t give up in face of adversity.

These qualities really seem to help you become successful.

When you are happy, those positive emotions don’t just stick with you, you spread positive vibes wherever you go.

I have noticed this for myself that when I am feeling good and cheerful I want to help others, compliment others, just share happiness with everyone I come across.

On the contrary when I’m feeling low, I just want everyone to leave me alone for a while. I have less energy and enthusiasm. If I’m sad because of some problem all my attention is focused on solving that problem and I don’t pay much attention to others around me.

Who else feels the same?

Stop and smell the roses 🌹

Yep! They are right. Happiness is in little things.

When we think about what makes us happy, mostly we come up with answers like – talking to my bf after a long day, having chai with bestie, long drives with family, making fun DIYs with sister, baarish aur chai…..💓💕

Soooo… The point is that these things are something we will remember and cherish forever.

We may not remember the time we brought fancy car, but we remember the time when we went on long drive with friends.

Don’t get me wrong, material things are also important and financial security is the first priority.

But when it comes to happiness, memories with people count more than material happiness.

“Happiness consists more in conveniences of pleasure that occur everyday than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom.”

– Benjamin Franklin

Poem

Sometimes
you are unsatisfied with your life,
while many people in this world
are dreaming of living your life…

A child on a farm sees a plane
fly overhead and dreams of flying.
but a pilot on the plane sees the farmhouse
and dreams of returning home

That’s life! Enjoy yours…

If wealth is secret to happiness,
then the rich should be dancing on the streets
but only poor kids do that.

If power ensures security,
then officials should walk unguarded.
but those who live simply, sleep soundly.

If beauty and fame bring ideal relationships,
then celebrities should have best marriages.

Live simply

Walk humbly

And love genuinely…

All good will come back to you..

– Dr. Ben Carson

let’s visualise

What if….

You had a machine that could make you happy. You just press a button and you feel happy. You don’t need to go anywhere, you don’t need to do anything. Just press a button and you’ll feel happy.

Would you buy such machine?


What if…

you had a boon that whatever you do, you will be successful. You will never experience failure at all. Everything that you plan to do, will be completed. Every project you undertake will work out.

Would you like that?


Imagine…

You are on your deathbed. There’s no more time left to do things you always wanted.

Think of 5 important things that you would regret not doing. Think about what you will care about the most. What are the things that will matter to you? Which are the people who would matter to you? Would you regret not living your life to the fullest? What are some things that you wish you had done?


Imagine…..

You are born into a very rich family. And your parents are willing to spoil you. You get everything you want without a moment’s delay. You don’t have to struggle for anything. All your wishes are fulfilled without you doing anything.

Would you like to live such life?


Let us dig deeper….

Speaking of the happiness machine…

Would you feel satisfied?

Would that machine in some way give your life meaning?

Would you like to be happy without being the cause of your happiness?

Is happiness all that you want? In any form and all the time?


Speaking of success…

Many people would be tempted to live with the boon… But

Will that motivate you to try? When you already know you’ll be successful, will you experience the thrill of starting something new?

Will you work hard? Will you feel satisfied at the end of the day?

Will you grow and develop as a person if success came easily?


I told you to imagine this deathbed scene just to make you realise what things really matter in the end. Many a times we get caught up in unimportant details and spend so much time thiking about it. When it’s not worth it.

Things that matter in the end are – how much you loved, how you treated your family and friends, how you made others feel, did you do what you always wanted to do and such.

Stop stressing over unimportant things and live freely. Free from unnecessary grudges, regrets, envy, procrastination, hate, and such.


About the getting-everything-you-want-without-working-for-it…

It is doubtful whether any heavier curse could be imposed on man than the complete gratification of all his wishes without effort on his part, leaving nothing for his hopes, desires or struggles.

– Samuel Smiles

The child who makes a toy car run is happy not because the car runs, but because he made it run.

If we come to look at it, struggles and challenges are necessary for happiness and for a fulfilling life.


you should persist

Teacher : Sanjana, how is your practice going for the competition? It’s a big opportunity for you.

Sanjana : It’s not going so well. I tried doing the triple flip, but I can’t. It’s just too hard.

Teacher : I understand, it took me time to practice it too. But keep going I’m sure you’ll do great

Sanjana : that’s very kind of you.. but I don’t think I really have what it takes to become a good dancer. I have seen Seema dance much better than me, we joined together but she’s much more talented than me

Teacher : Can I tell you a secret?

Sanjana : what?

Teacher : You think Seema is naturally talented, but she isn’t. Neither am I. You know how much she practices in a day? 6 hours and sometimes more.

Sanjana : what? Really?

Teacher : Yes, and if there’s something special about her, it’s that she doesn’t give up even when it gets tough.

You can do that too! I know you love dance. You should work a little harder. And you remember how excited you were when you got selected for this competition don’t you?

Sanjana : yeah.. I was so happy that day! Since I was a little girl I saw dancers dance gracefully in this competition. I wanted to be one of them…

Teacher : See, this is your chance to finally turn your dream into reality. And don’t think much about the prize, just remember you have to dance like you’ve never danced before.. surrender yourself to the music and dance to express yourself.. your emotions.. your passion

Sanjana : wow.. I just got goosebumps..

Teacher : you have that spirit of a dancer. Don’t let fear of failing get in your way

And if you are struggling with some moves, talk to me. We will rehearse together. I will let you know how can you improve.

Sanjana : thank you! means a lot

Teacher : and I have faith in you Sanjana. Just be optimistic. Even if things go wrong or take time, don’t worry. Remember the dark clouds will eventually drift off and make room for sunshine.

You can do it, just work hard and keep a positive attitude and we’re here to help you! 🙂

Sanjana : thank you for helping me out! I will not give up.

positive emotions at workplace

I joined as salesperson in Shah enterprises a few years ago. I didn’t have much knowledge of sales but I really needed a job and this seemed right at the moment.

Selling was hard. We had to face lots of rejections every single day. But despite of that we had to continue our work with the same enthusiasm. Eventually I got comfortable with people turning me down. I knew that after 100 rejections I will sell one product. I knew every door that I knock on wasn’t meant for me and also that eventually, I will find the right door.

Everyone around me was super competitive. They didn’t invest their emotions into their work. Maybe over the years they had learnt that making that sale is the only thing they need. They all were running for achievement, that others praise. They felt that emotions only get in their way of success and worked like emotionless robot for the entire day.

I was not one of them. That’s not how I wanted to live my life. I liked talking to people. I enjoyed making emotional connections with them. Not that I was too emotional about everyone or stuff, it’s just that I liked connecting with people on a deeper level.

For every sale I did, I remember having a great time talking to the buyer. Sometimes people were rude too, but I used to tell myself that it’s okay, maybe they’re just having a bad day.

Slowly, my sales began to rise. Earlier there were times when I sold just one product in two weeks, now it was 3-4 in a week. My colleagues were jealous of me, to be honest, they were working harder than me. But I seemed to get better results.

After some time I was promoted as Team Leader. I trained my team well and just told them to enjoy what they were doing. I told them it’s okay if they didn’t make a sale, I wanted them to make connections with people. I wanted them to feel good at the end of the day and not frustrated. I told them to shift their focus from making a sale as their only motive to enjoy the process of making a sale.

After a few months, my team made the highest number of sales that month. I was so happy and proud!

Next year I was made Branch Manager. Things just got better after that.

What I’ve learnt in all these years is that, enjoying your work now is important. People are mostly hard on themselves and work day and night just to be successful. Even if you become successful the next day, you will be worried about another challenge that comes your way. Again working hard for success. It keeps going on.

Sometimes its important to enjoy the process of getting there. Not just the end result. Process is equally important.

In my case, I’ve seen that when I feel emotionally good, I am more productive. I am enthusiastic the next day to come to work. Emotional gratification is necessary for success.

As they say, success depends on 20% IQ and 80% on EI. That is emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence also applies to you, how you use your emotions to become successful.

At the end of the day, I am glad I didn’t fell into the trap of rat race and did what I felt right.

And as you can see, it turned out quite well.

– Amit Kumar

(National Sales Manager, Shah enterprises)


Research shows that positive emotions at workplace lead to better productivity and workplace satisfaction.

There is growing evidence that positive emotions influence variables vital for workplace success such as positive beliefs, creativity, work engagement, positive coping, health, teamwork and collaboration, customer satisfaction, leadership, and performance.


References –

Ed Diener, Stuti Thapa, Louis Tay

Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior 2020 7:1, 451-477


P.S – Guys this is a fictional story I wrote to illustrate my point. It’s not about me or anyone I know.

Also if you want to connect with me on instagram, here’s my id – @vivacious_vruuu

Take care guys!!

who will be more happy?

Scene 1Roopa got admitted to new school. She didn’t have many friends. She talked to 2-3 girls at the most. When they invited her to come and sit with their group, she was just too shy to join. When asked about it, she used to say “why should I go first? They should come and talk to me” She didn’t even interact much with her cousins and family either.

Scene -2 Khushi was also admitted to the same school in same class with Roopa. She was very excited about new school and making new friends, within a week everyone in class knew Khushi. She made lots of friends and had good relations with everyone. When asked about it “I am really interested in getting to know people. I love to make new friends. It’s good to have someone to talk to” she said.


Now if I ask you guys –

Who do you think from both the stories is more likely to be happy? Roopa or Khushi?

Well… Idk who will be happy either. But most probably, it will be Khushi.

Let me tell you why –

A research was done by Harward University to predict the most basic factor for happiness. The study continued for 75 years. And what did they find out –

“The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.” — Robert Waldinger, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development

Yesss that’s right.

Rich and satisfying relationships are important for your health and happiness.

This is not about introversion or extroversion. ‘Man is a social animal’. We need people. It’s about people. And the relationships you have with people in your life. Even a extrovert with lots of negative, unhealthy relationships will be unhappy. And a introvert with few quality, healthy relationships will be happy. It’s more about how you value relations and how you connect with people.

I’ve found this to be relatable and true in my experience. On some days when I don’t really talk to my friends or can’t maintain contact I feel unhappy, sad. (Esp during this lockdown period) When I have heart to heart conversations with friends and family and spend quality time with them I feel really good.

In words of Tal Ben-Shahar,

Having people about whom we care and who care about us to share our lives with—to share the events and thoughts and feelings in our lives—intensifi es our experience of meaning, consoles us in our pain, deepens our sense of delight in the world.

– Tal Ben-Shahar


Let’s try to stay more connected with our loved ones during this period. Let’s remind eachother, ‘we’re together, I have your back’

i am happy with my work

I work as a cleaner in Sumitra hospital. And I want to say, I am happy with my work. Yes I sweep the floor and clean patients rooms but for me it’s more than that. I take care of patients, talk to them for a while and comfort them in their illness.

Of course, I didn’t always wanted to be a hospital cleaner. My family comes from Rampur village. We don’t have much facilities there and one government school in entire village. I studied there and after my 10th wanted to become a CA.

That didn’t quite work out though. My father was a farmer. We had a few acres of land and did wheat plantation. That year unfortunately we had drought and we couldn’t make enough money. Being the elder son in family, I had to work at a industry.

I didn’t get a chance to pursue my education. I was married off when I was 22 and had to look for our family.

After 2 years the industry went bankrupt and we lost our jobs. That was when I started working for Sumitra hospital as a cleaner. The money was enough for us to meet all our needs.

One day I was cleaning for a cancer patient and he started talking to me. About his hobbies, family, life in general. His children were so busy working at their offices that they didn’t have time to visit their father frequently. His wife used to come every day. In a week I almost became a part of their family. They treated me so well, his wife always used to ask me about my wife and my daughter. And she also used to give some homemade sweets for my family. T

When I couldn’t come to work because I was ill, they kept on asking nurses about me. It felt so good! Even if in a small way, I have tried to make their life better, a little easier. And that matters way more than money.

There are many experiences as these. I don’t think I’m just a cleaner in Sumitra hospital. Its my family. I try to comfort all the patients and take care of them. Even if tomorrow I’ve a opportunity to leave this hospital and get a better job, I am not sure if I would! The connections I make every day with patients and their families makes me think I’m doing something meaningful. It makes me happy!


Most of the times how we perceive our work is important than the work itself.

P.S – guys its a purely fictional story to illustrate my point. It’s not about me or anyone I know.

Why is positive psychology important for you?

For many years psychologists were interested in abnormal behaviour and mental disorders. That’s why today for many people psychology seems to be equivalent to Abnormal Psychology.
But the field of psychology is much vast than this.

Psychologists now are interested in what consists in a “good life”? What makes our life meaningful? How can we achieve wellbeing? What makes us happy?

This gave birth to positive psychology in 1998.
Now the word “positive” doesn’t mean that this is the only branch of psychology that is important and others are insignificant or “negative”

Actually, positive psychology and abnormal psychology both work hand in hand to make human life better.


How’d your life be without any doctors in town? Just your friends and family to make you happy.. will you really be happy? What if you get some illness? You need doctors for that.

In the same way Abnormal Psychology helps us by treating mental illness. And positive psychology helps us to enhance our happiness.
Both are necessary for overall well-being of mankind.
One helps us by reducing mental illness and other helps us by strengthening mental health.

Do you sometimes feel like you’re not really happy with your life? There’s nothing really bad happening to you.. but still, you don’t feel like you’re not living your life to the fullest.

The absence of negative doesn’t mean the presence of positive. That’s where positive psychology comes in. It helps you live a balanced and happy life. It deals with questions like – what makes you happy? What leads to wellbeing? What are the characteristics of happy couples? How can you be successful and happy? How can you enhance positive emotions in your life?
It deals with concepts like – gratitude, compassion, kindness, altruism, happiness, wellbeing, mindfulness, resilience, hope, savouring, grit, etc.


We understand that talking rudely with someone constantly will damage our relationship with the other person. Does this mean that simply not talking rudely with someone will strengthen our relationship with other person?

Good behaviours are not simply the opposite of bad behaviours.
To strengthen your relationship with someone you might need to appreciate that person, spend quality time together, be kind to one another and make eachother laugh.

Sometimes people wonder what does their relationship lack when there are not really any conflicts happening. Most of the times it’s the absence of positive behaviours which strengthen the relationship.

That’s how positive psychology helps you. And this is why you need to understand what behaviours you need to practice for a happy and meaningful life.

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