Lessons learnt in teenage

As I step into my twenties I realise…. (Oh my!!!!! I am a grown up now!! Does this mean I cannot act like a kid anymore??? I remember it as yesterday when I called my mum to ask where the grocery shop is.. Oh wait! Maybe that really happened yesterday 😂)

Sooo, as you see I’ve (technically) grown up and now I’m going to tell you what I’ve learnt through my teenage.

I wanted this post to have a ‘formal’ start… But anyway… It’s the real me that I’ll be sharing in this post so yeah… I guess goofing around is fine..

Here’s what I’ve learnt –

Life is changing constantly and you need to adapt and be okay with it.

Nothing is permanent. We all have felt that moment when we were like – this is it! This is my life and these are the people I want to spend it with.

Here’s the truth – It doesn’t happen so always. And that’s okay.

The people you are currently with may not be with you forever and that’s okay.

Enjoy your time with them. Live your life. Make memories. Have fun. Cherish eachother. Don’t expect this to last forever.

People come and go. If they leave it doesn’t mean they are bad or you are at fault – it just means that their chapter in your life is over.

As some people leave, others will enter your life too. They may not be able to replace the people earlier but that’s okay.

Different people teach you different things, give you different memories and make your life beautiful.

They add colours to your blank canvas of life. Every colour may not be beautiful, but the final painting will be.

I lost touch with my best friend from school last year. We were so close and suddenly that bond we had wasn’t as strong as before. It wasn’t her fault, it wasn’t mine either. It’s just that we changed. Our needs were different. Our mindsets were different. I felt terrible after loosing contact with her, but I understood (eventually) that it was time for us to go where we feel connected and comfortable. I guess that’s how life works. People come and go. Things change. You change.

Last year even a wonderful person entered my life. She is the perfect elder sister you could have – Caring, pampering, kind, supportive and understanding. I feel so blessed to have her in my life. We aren’t real sisters but I feel connected to her. And she didn’t replace my high school bestie, I admire both of them and they both have a special place in my heart.

So you see – It changes. Be okay with that. You change. Life goes on. Stay hopeful.

And if you’re someone promising ‘forevers’ well that’s good – try your best to make it work but if it doesn’t, let go.

My life doesn’t have to look like my friend’s and vice versa.

You won’t always get the beautiful thing your friends have but that doesn’t mean you won’t get anything beautiful.

Some of my friends go to pub, bar, go on vacations frequently and I don’t get to experience that. But that’s okay – it doesn’t mean I am not happy or I don’t have what I need.

My life doesn’t need to look like theirs. Your life and your experiences are beautiful and unique in their own way.

Thinking that – If I get a car of my own (like my friend has) I’ll be happy, doesn’t work.

You might feel like the glamorous life is beautiful and exciting and fun and that may be true. But that doesn’t mean your life is any less beautiful and exciting and fun.

It’s natural to want something better but remember your happiness doesn’t need to depend on that. What you have is also beautiful.

If you haven’t done anything great yet, it doesn’t mean you don’t have the ability to.

There was a time when I thought I won’t be able to do anything worthwhile in life. Everyone around me was making constant progress and I felt like I couldn’t make it as fast as them. I felt like I couldn’t do anything great because I haven’t done anything special like they have.

We often confuse ability with results. If you do something great that means you’re capable, worthy. If you don’t you aren’t.

It’s like saying that if that if a crocodile didn’t bite you yet, it doesn’t have the ability to do so.

You are able to go after your dreams and get it done. Don’t get overwhelmed. Start with one small step at a time in the right direction.

Speaking kindly to yourself helps a lot.

There will come many times in your life when you feel utterly stressed and depressed, at that time being harsh on yourself will only increase the friction, the conflict. You need to be give yourself ease. Be gentle and kind to yourself.

You don’t pour petrol when there’s fire burning, you need to calm it by water.

Practicing self compassion during hard times gave me the strength to go on. To keep moving.

It is also something that made me fell in love with myself and appreciate myself.

If you feel something it doesn’t mean you are that.

There are times when you feel worthless, lonely, stupid – but that doesn’t mean you actually are worthless, lonely or stupid.

Feelings come and go. You don’t need to hold on to every feeling and expect it to be true. Everything you feel isn’t true.

Learn to expect from yourself

There are times when I expect a lot from my parents and friends. That’s not wrong I guess – but I’ve realised that it’s better to expect from me than anyone else. That way I’m kinda sure that at least I’m making efforts to fulfill my expectations.

If your parents don’t give you what you’ve expected then just let go of it, I mean they’re doing the best they can to give you everything. If they can’t or don’t want to offer you something, bet on yourself.

If you truly want something try to get it yourself.

If you see something good in someone, tell them.

I honestly feel so good when someone appreciates something I’ve done. I want to give that feeling to others as well.

If you admire something about someone tell them, they will feel good and feel motivated to continue the behaviour.

It just takes a minute to tell them but that memory may last much longer.

If someone does something good for you, express your gratitude. It strengthens relationships.

Stay open-minded to new concepts and ideas.

There was a time when I firmly believed in everything science proved. I mean I still believe in everything science proves.. but at that time I had a fixed mindset that everything science proves is true and things that are not proven do not exist.

I firmly believed that there are no “signs” from universe – Things just happen. It’s just a coincidence and there is no hidden meaning to it.

My best friend loves talking about universe and the “signs” from universe. And I’m like – What nonsense! It doesn’t mean anything, it doesn’t happen that way.

Even when she told me about her experiences, I said “It’s a coincidence”.

She’d get hurt but wouldn’t push me further.

I saw myself being rude to her when this topic came up. I wanted her to accept what I think is true and she wanted me to accept what she felt true.

Slowly I started realising that I was restricting my mind. I was so stuck with my firm beliefs that I wasn’t looking at other possibilities.

I wasn’t ready to unlearn and relearn my beliefs. The problem was not whether or not I believed in signs of universe the problem was that I wasn’t ready to accept that this can be true. I shut my mind to all possibilities.

Here’s what I realised –

• I wasn’t ready to accept new possibilities.

• I mixed the word ‘my’ with beliefs.

There’s a difference when you say – “It’s MY belief, MY thought” and “I think it’s true, I have found this to be true”

When you say it’s MY thought, you will not like when someone says something contradictory. Because someone is attacking what is “yours”. You will try to defend yourself instead to understanding what the person has to say.

• Even if I have believed something for a long time, I have the freedom to change my belief. I can change what has “Always been this way” just because I find something new, better. I am allowed to change.

• Trying to be the same person you were years ago is not necessary. It’s okay (and necessary) to grow. Be open to different ideas, mindsets and concepts. They may or may not be true – But be open and look objectively. You will discover many different things.

Sooo… This is it! This is what I’ve learnt in my teenage. What have you learnt in yours? What would you like to tell your teenage self?

Please share in the comments below!!!

Thank you for being here. Hope you all have a fantastic weekend!!💖💖💖

Mystery Blogger Award

Thank you so much thoughtsmakeu1007 and krishnapriya to nominate me for this award.

It’s my first time receiving nomination for any award on WordPress. I hope I do it well! 😛

Mystery Blogger Award – What is it?

Okoto Enigma is the creator of Mystery Blogger Award. This is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging; and they do it with so much love and passion.”

– Okoto Enigma

Rules:

1. Put the award logo/image on your blog.

2. List the rules.

3. Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.

4. Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well.

5. Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.

6. You have to nominate 10 – 20 people.

7. Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.

8. Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question (specify).

9. Share a link to your best post(s).

10. Answer the questions your nominator gave you.

3 things about me –

1. I am a huge Disney fan! I love the way I can connect with Disney movies and characters. It’s just so amazing!

2. I am a grad student studying psychology for specialisation.

3. For some reason, hearing the sound of flute instantly calms me down. Among the music of all instruments, I love flute music, it seems and magical and very ‘natural’ and soothing to me.

Questions by Thoughtsmakeu1007 –

1. List any 3 things you did to make people follow your blog.

– 1. I started my blog.

2. I wrote a post.

3. I clicked ‘publish’

Haha… Honestly there’s nothing special I did. Just wrote posts that people could relate to and people discovered my blog and found it worth following.

2. 1 thing you wish to do,if you were made president of your country for 1 week?

– Change the education system. I don’t know if Presidents can do this haha.. but that’s something I really want to improve or change.

3. What is your stress buster?

– Music! I also practice Mindfulness and I do feel much better after I talk about the stressor with my family and close friends.

4. How do you overcome procrastination?

– Most of the times I choose not to be harsh on myself and force myself to do the job, I choose to stay still and relax for a while. Then I watch some encouraging YouTube videos, people talking about how they went through hard times and finally achieved what they wanted. That really inspires me.

5. What is your passion and what do you do to live your passion?

– I love this one. My passion is positive psychology. I’m so damn passionate about it. I live my passion every day by reading something about it or writing these blog posts or just thinking about how can I make the concepts of positive psychology more easy and interesting that people want to apply it in their daily life. Doing something about positive psychology makes me feel so good and it’s so exciting!

Questions by Krisnapriya –

1. What makes you feel good?

– Knowing that I am loved. Knowing how much I mean to my close ones. Watching someone being kind. Me being kind to others. Letting go of something that hurts. Counting my blessings. Being optimistic towards my future. Being around people I love. Working hard for something I love.

All this makes me feel extremely good.

2. How do you spend your leisure time?

– I’d read something or go out for a walk, talk with my family and friends or stay in bed for hours.

3. Will you love yourself and be kind to yourself from this moment :)?

– Yes! That’s what I’m doing since I saw the video of Kristin Neff about self compassion. I’m being kind to myself ever since… It does wonders.

I’d like to nominate –

1. Krishnapriya

2. Thoughtsmakeu

3. Fortysomethingheyhey

4. Popsiclesociety

5. Neha Kulkarni

6. Rolandomio Travel

7. Accidental Blogger

8. Radhikasreflection

9. The neutron rumble

10. Positivesideofthecoin

11. Shivani Dubey

My Questions for nominees –

1. What makes you happy? What do you think will make you happy?

2. Share your 5 strengths.

3. Describe yourself in one word.

4. What are you grateful for right now?

5. Share a incident that made you strongly believe in yourself. Or a incident that taught you something you’ll never forget.

My best post –

I want every post of mine to be ‘the best’. But the post that’s really popular on my blog is this –

What does Gratitude mean to me

Thank you so much guys for nominating me for the award. I enjoyed doing this. Hope the nominees will love it as well.

Thank you for being here. Have a great weekend!!💖🌈💖

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