Labels

We need reasons
Reasons for everything
Not just a reason,
We like to label

When I am scared to speak in public
I label myself as introvert
I don’t try to see whether it’s my extreme fear or just a feeling everyone goes through

When I label myself
I repeat
I am an introvert.. I am an introvert..
So I try to behave like one

That day I thought of saying what I felt in class
In front of everyone
But,
“Introverts don’t speak in public, they don’t like attention”

Thus I killed my desire numerous times,
To fit into the category
I gave myself

One day I was forced to enter in elocution competition
I closed my eyes and told myself
I am not afraid of speaking in public
It’s not that bad

I didn’t get a round of applause
But my teacher beamed at me
“Yes, you spoke!”

© Vrunda Chauk

Me

“It’s okay”
“It happens”
“Don’t worry”
“Everything will be alright”

I find myself saying this to my friends, family and colleagues

But when something goes wrong with me
All I say is –
“You could’ve done better”
“How dumb you are!”
“What will they think about you?”

I fight myself while I try to heal others
I am harsh on myself
While I try to be kind to others

I need to remind myself
I am human too
I make mistakes too
I am allowed to forgive myself

I need to give myself what I’ve given others
I need to love myself the way I love others

© Vrunda Chauk

The real “secret” about Law of Attraction

Let me begin by sharing what actually the law of attraction means –

Law of attraction is the belief that positive or negative thoughts bring about positive or negative experiences into a person’s life.

Many people try to manifest everything they want into their lives by using this law.

Some of them think you should just have positive thoughts and think about everything you want as if you already have it and it will be granted.

But is just thinking about it enough?

Picture this –

You are really hungry. You want to eat pizza at night. You are imagining you have pizza, with lots of cheese, it’s all yours, you are taking the first bite, then the second… You are so happy!

Can just thinking this way fill your belly?

No.

So what do you do?

You at least have to get up from your couch and pick up the phone and order pizza!

Right?

Is just “thinking about it enough?”

One more thing – Law of attraction asks you to truly believe in what you want. It asks you to completely believe it’s yours. You have it.

So for example –

Let’s say you want a promotion next month.

You are more likely to believe that you will have it when you’re actually working hard and making progress.

You won’t believe you’ll have promotion if you were on leave for 10 days last month.

You are more likely to believe in your wish and attract stuff when you are actually working towards it.

Just believing without doing something is like saying –

“I know I have built a finance firm, it’s a great company and I am the CEO…..”

Without knowing a single thing about running a big company.

Use your logic at times my friends.

I don’t have anything against Law of attraction. I think it’s great. It really works. But you have to move along with your vibes.

I think actions and beliefs go hand in hand. The better you act, the stronger is your belief that you will have it. And the stronger your belief, the better you will act.

For example –

You say – “Taylor Swift is the best pop singer in the world! She’s so amazing, I love her….. (your belief)

But I don’t listen to her songs” (your action)

Such contradiction won’t happen right?😄

This is something I’ve learnt about the law of attraction.

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Moral of the story – Don’t use Law of attraction as an excuse to avoid work. You have to put your work where your mouth is.

And I say this again

(this is the real secret) –

The stronger you believe in your dreams, the harder you will work.

That’s just something I’ve seen in my life.

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Hope this was helpful guys!

It’s just my perspective about this topic. Yours may be different and that’s okay.

I’d love to hear your views on this topic.

Thank you for being here!❤️

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Note to self – 3 (healthy perspective)

There are so many ways to look at things. In fact there are many many different perspectives about one single thing.

Sometimes we don’t know the truth or we partially know the truth and we assume the rest.

For example –
You didn’t get selected in a interview.

There can be many reasons!

What do you tell yourself?

What are your thoughts?

“I’m not good enough.. I don’t have the necessary skills… I don’t think I’ll ever get the job”

Now these can be your immediate thoughts… I get it. 90% people might have this as their first response

But problem arises when you stick to those thoughts for… days, months or even years!

Can you imagine? You let that one single failure, one problem, one thought define your entire life.

You need to ask yourself –

Will thinking in this way help me?

Here’s “the story” you need to tell yourself –

Dear me,

I think you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. There are so many other ways to look at this.

I realise this is not the end of the world. I have many chances ahead of me. I won’t give up.

I’m just getting started. I might face some difficulties but I need to keep going and hope for the best.

I believe it’s me who has the power to choose my perspective. I choose the optimistic perspective. It may or may not turn out well, but its much better than having pessimist attitude and giving up.

By looking at the bright side I will at least get the motivation to keep going. Which I need the most right now.

And who knows…
Some problems are a blessing in disguise! 😉

You are blessed honey!

With love,
Me

One simple thing you can do right now to improve your life

Believe it or not, the company you keep matters. A lot.

If you’re constantly surrounded by pessimistic people, guess what, after a while even you start imitating them. This happens, unless you try very very hard to stay optimistic because negative behaviours can be learnt quickly.

There’s this concept of mirroring in psychology.

Where you learn or imitate the behaviour of people around you knowingly or unknowingly.

How can you use this to your advantage?

Well, it’s simple!

Be in company of people who inspire you, who support your growth and who guide you in the right direction, who trust you and bring out the best in you.

Now as they say –

You’re the average of five people you spend most of your time with

I’ll tell you which of the five people you should surround yourself with –

1. Be with people around whom you feel loved and valued.

This can be your parents, or your friends or your partner. Anyone with whom you feel loved and valued.

2. Be with someone who makes you laugh and enjoy little things. Someone who makes you smile and appreciates you.

This can be your sibling or your best friend.

3. Be with someone who trusts you and whom you can trust. No matter what, you know you guys have got each other’s back.

(Now speaking of these qualities, you might know at least one person with whom these qualities resonate. Someone who makes you smile, some other person whom you can trust completely, someone else who makes you feel loved, etc.)

4. Be with someone who inspires you and motivates you and brings out the best in you.

Okay so this person can be hard to find.

But let me tell you, it’s not necessary that these people should be someone you know personally or have met them. They can also be your role models.

Someone you look up to. Someone who you want to be like. Someone you deeply admire.

Now even if you surround yourself with the ideas, the principles, the values these people have implemented in their life, it works. You slowly start thinking like them, you try to imitate their principles in your own life.

And believe me, that improves your life!

Imagine you’re constantly watching everything about Oprah Winfrey, Swami Vivekananda, or Gary Vee (let’s say they are your role models) So you are watching many videos of them on YouTube, you’re watching their shows. You are reading about them, reading their books.

What will happen after some time?

Your thinking patterns will change, your attitude changes, your perception about things change, you start acting differently, you start growing.

5. Be with someone who can guide you in the right direction in difficult times.

This can be your “therapist” friend, a mentor or a actual therapist. Someone who helps you gain clarity about situations and helps you take the right decision.

I don’t know how many people will agree with me, but I’ve found books to guide me as well. Self help books and even some fantasy novels have great messages. I could relate to those characters and understand their life.

These people help you understand certain things, especially when you need it the most.

Be careful about whom you choose as this person because when you are sad, depressed or angry, it’s very easy for a wrong person to drag you into a wrong behaviour.

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I have found this to work in my personal life.

The moment I started focusing on myself and setting healthy boundaries and surrounding myself with people who bring out the best in me, I’ve seen myself change in a very good way.

When I started reading more about inspiring people, gathering more information about them and started applying their tips for success, I felt great!

I felt like I’m learning from them and slowly applying that in my own life and seeing the results.

I also started choosing whom to spend most of my time with and I found I was much happier and satisfied with my life than before.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not telling you to be picky and only choose the people whom you can benefit from, no! It’s good to have connection with different people, it’s nice to have them as your friends.

But, prioritise your time for those who really help you grow, who really matter. Because you have limited time.

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Moral of the story – The company you keep matters. Choose the right people and see the drastic and quick improvement in your life.

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Who are your role models? Do you “spend” more time with them? Do you feel the change in your mindset and actions?

Let me know in the comments below!!

Thank you for reading guys!❤️

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Keep shining, keep smiling! 🙂

©Vrunda Chauk 2019

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