3 facts about happiness

If you really think about it…this seems logical right?

Like it cannot be that you are very unhappy and then suddenly you become successful and you boom! Now you’ll be happy for the rest of your life.

Of course you will get a large happiness boost. But after some time you will get used to your changed lifestyle and things won’t excite you that much.

You will be back to your normal self.

But those who are happy most of the time are more likely to be successful!

Coz of course you want to pursue things when you are happy, you have a optimistic outlook that everything will work out, you don’t give up in face of adversity.

These qualities really seem to help you become successful.

When you are happy, those positive emotions don’t just stick with you, you spread positive vibes wherever you go.

I have noticed this for myself that when I am feeling good and cheerful I want to help others, compliment others, just share happiness with everyone I come across.

On the contrary when I’m feeling low, I just want everyone to leave me alone for a while. I have less energy and enthusiasm. If I’m sad because of some problem all my attention is focused on solving that problem and I don’t pay much attention to others around me.

Who else feels the same?

Stop and smell the roses ๐ŸŒน

Yep! They are right. Happiness is in little things.

When we think about what makes us happy, mostly we come up with answers like – talking to my bf after a long day, having chai with bestie, long drives with family, making fun DIYs with sister, baarish aur chai…..๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’•

Soooo… The point is that these things are something we will remember and cherish forever.

We may not remember the time we brought fancy car, but we remember the time when we went on long drive with friends.

Don’t get me wrong, material things are also important and financial security is the first priority.

But when it comes to happiness, memories with people count more than material happiness.

โ€œHappiness consists more in conveniences of pleasure that occur everyday than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom.โ€

– Benjamin Franklin

What makes you pessimistic about yourself?

I cannot do this.

I am just not talented enough.

Oh! I’ve never done it before.


What do you think is the reason behind being so pessimistic about yourself?

Is it because you’ve encountered so many failures in that department that you have given up hope?

Or

Is it because of some strongly held beliefs about yourself?

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Take your time and think.


Carol Dweck conducted a study on this.

She worked with middle schools and selected those boys and girls who in the opinion of their teachers, school principal and school psychologist were especially “helpless” when confronted by failure.

She then divided the children into two groups. The first group was assigned to solve some math problems and at the end of session no matter how their performance, they received praise for doing well.

The second group was also told to slove math problems. Occassionally they were told that they hadn’t solved enough problems and that “they should’ve tried harder”

After some days, all children were given a combination of easy and very difficult problems to slove.

If failures were the reason for their helplessness, the students in first group should do better because, the appreciative feedback would boost their motivated.

On the other hand if the main cause of helplessness was how the children interpreted themselves and their abilities, the encouragement to try harder would prove effective.


The result was that the students from first group gave up on encountering hard problems just as they did before the training.

But children from second group tried harder while solving difficult problems.


From this, we realise that maybe more than failures itself, it is the interpretation of failures that matter.

If instead of looking at failure and saying “I lack here. I will never try this again” we trust ourself and say “I will try harder next time” things could improve.

When I am mindful

When I am mindful
and pay attention
I notice the beauty of graffiti wall
that I pass by everyday

When I am mindful
and pay attention
I notice that something is not right
with my best friend and maybe she needs more of my care

When I am mindful
and pay attention
I talk to my grandma and notice the happiness
in her voice when she talks about certain things

When I am mindful
and pay attention
I realise my dad shows love through actions
even if he fails to express in words

When I am mindful
and pay attention
I understand the care and effort
of my mother to raise me in a proper way

When I am mindful
and pay attention
I realise that tough times don’t last
and things do get better day by day

I realise that in fact, there aren’t as many bad things in my life as it seems

I realise that there is more kindness in the world and it multiplies when we give โ™ฅ๏ธ

ยฉ Vrunda Chauk

how we interpret causes

When things go wrong…

Rohit – bro, I heard you didn’t get selected in the finals

Rahul – yeah.. i injured my knee just before the semifinal match during practice.. that’s why I couldn’t perform my best

And also I couldn’t communicate with my coach.. some of the guys from opposing team were bullying some of my friends. Our coach had some emergency and couldn’t attend the match. If he would have been there he would have done something about it and given us a moral boost. He always motivates us and we have great faith in him.. it would have been helpful if he was here…

But it’s okay. We cannot control everything right? I will ask the coach about next tournament and start the training right away. We will kill it this time!!


Rohit – bro, I heard you didn’t got selected in the finals

Varad – yeah.. it’s very sad. I know we could have done better. We failed and it’s completely our fault..

I am feeling so bad about this… I don’t want to go for any tournament now… I am really disappointed with myself.. I had worked so hard for this, practiced for hours.. I don’t think I can get better and we can ever win


When things go right…

Rohit : bro I heard you won the championship! Congrats man!!

Rahul : thank you! It was really awesome! The way I hit the last goal, everyone was in awe.. We all had worked really hard for this.. this is the success of our team!

I am so happy to be part of this team! With the help of such good teammates and wonderful coach.. we did it!

Yayy!!!


Rohit : bro I heard you won the championship! Congrats man!!

Varad : oh well.. thanks but it wasn’t really me. I mean it was teamwork, they all worked really hard


What can we learn from these two conversations?

Sounds familiar?

Who would you rather be? Rahul or Varad?

When things go wrong, we try to blame ourselves as the cause and feel negative. When things go right, we undermine ourselves and do not feel as happy as we should.

It’s so ironical isn’t it?

Maybe it would be of great help if we look for causes of negative outcomes outside of ourselves and give ourselves credit for the good things that happen in our life. โค๏ธ

Changing the destructive things you say to yourself when you experience the setbacks that life deals all of us is the central skill of optimism.

– Martin Seligman

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People who believe they cause good things tend to like themselves better than people who believe good things come from other people or circumstances.

– Martin Seligman

you should persist

Teacher : Sanjana, how is your practice going for the competition? It’s a big opportunity for you.

Sanjana : It’s not going so well. I tried doing the triple flip, but I can’t. It’s just too hard.

Teacher : I understand, it took me time to practice it too. But keep going I’m sure you’ll do great

Sanjana : that’s very kind of you.. but I don’t think I really have what it takes to become a good dancer. I have seen Seema dance much better than me, we joined together but she’s much more talented than me

Teacher : Can I tell you a secret?

Sanjana : what?

Teacher : You think Seema is naturally talented, but she isn’t. Neither am I. You know how much she practices in a day? 6 hours and sometimes more.

Sanjana : what? Really?

Teacher : Yes, and if there’s something special about her, it’s that she doesn’t give up even when it gets tough.

You can do that too! I know you love dance. You should work a little harder. And you remember how excited you were when you got selected for this competition don’t you?

Sanjana : yeah.. I was so happy that day! Since I was a little girl I saw dancers dance gracefully in this competition. I wanted to be one of them…

Teacher : See, this is your chance to finally turn your dream into reality. And don’t think much about the prize, just remember you have to dance like you’ve never danced before.. surrender yourself to the music and dance to express yourself.. your emotions.. your passion

Sanjana : wow.. I just got goosebumps..

Teacher : you have that spirit of a dancer. Don’t let fear of failing get in your way

And if you are struggling with some moves, talk to me. We will rehearse together. I will let you know how can you improve.

Sanjana : thank you! means a lot

Teacher : and I have faith in you Sanjana. Just be optimistic. Even if things go wrong or take time, don’t worry. Remember the dark clouds will eventually drift off and make room for sunshine.

You can do it, just work hard and keep a positive attitude and we’re here to help you! ๐Ÿ™‚

Sanjana : thank you for helping me out! I will not give up.

The Vulnerability Quiz

1. Vulnerability means..

A. Uncertainty, risk, emotional exposure

B. Weakness

C. Attention seeking

D. Foolishness

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Right answer – A. Uncertainty, risk, emotional exposure

Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.


2. Being vulnerable to someone means…

A. Showing someone in how much pain you are in to seek sympathy

B. Making up false stories to grab attention

C. Telling private information to test relationship

D. To express your true self and be brave

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Right answer – D. To express your true self and be brave


3. True or false

Vulnerability does not depend on the relationship you have with other person.

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Right answer – FALSE.

Vulnerability is based on mutuality and requires boundaries and trust.

It is about sharing our feelings and experiences with people who have earned the right to hear them.


4. Vulnerability requires ___________ from the listener.

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Right answer – Kindness and loyalty

Mutually respectful vulnerability leads to increased connection, trust and engagement.

Vulnerability without boundaries leads to disconnection, distrust and disengagement


5. Perfectionism is a belief that….

A. I can do everything well

B. If I do things perfectly, I can minimise or avoid the pain of blame, judgement and shame

C. I have to live up to my standards

D. None of the above

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Right answer – B. If I do things perfectly, I can minimise or avoid the pain of blame, judgement and shame

Perfectionism is less about doing things right than it is about avoiding the consequence if you do it wrong. It’s more about pleasing others.

And if you think “your perfectionism” is not about all this, it’s just a genuine desire to make things right, then complete the task. Perfection comes with time and experience, you cannot wait until you make your very first poetry “perfect”.


6. Vulnerability helps you…

A. Connect with others

B. Detach from others

C. Feel bad about yourself

D. None of the above

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Right answer – A. Connect with others


All this information was taken form Berne Brown’s research on vulnerability.

I tried to present it in a creative way to make it easy to understand and remember.

Hope you guys liked it! ๐Ÿ™‚

Quiz time (answers)

1. Which of the following characteristics grateful people tend to exhibit?

A. Boastful

B. Mean

C. Too proud

D. Helpful and empathetic

Right answer – D. HELPFUL AND EMPATHETIC.


2. In which of the following situations expressing gratitude will be helpful?

A. When you are coping with stress or trauma

B. When you have to build social bonds

C. When you want to savour life experiences

D. All of the above

Right answer – D. ALL OF THE ABOVE


3. State weather following statements are true or false.

A. Expressing gratitude tends to reduce the invidious comparisons with others. TRUE (you can’t compare when you’re actually grateful for what you have! When you experience gratitude towards something, you will cherish it’s importance and are less likely to compare)

B. Expressing gratitude can actually make negative emotions deter. TRUE (gratitude is a positive emotion. It’s actually found in research that gratitude in fact can diminish feelings such as anger, bitterness and greed)

C. If you express gratitude, you may not take things for granted. TRUE (when you express gratitude and appreciate things, you are less likely to take things for granted)


4. “Being a optimistic” means

A. Looking at the bright side in every situation

B. Being happy all the time

C. Talking about imaginary stuff with no logic

D. None of the above

Right Answer – A. LOOKING AT THE BRIGHT SIDE IN EVERY SITUATION (but optimism is also more than that. It’s about how you interpret causes of certain events. Optimists generally see causes of negative events as external)


5. Fill in the blank

Optimism is about considering problems as temporary and _________ causes.

Right answer – external


6. True or false

Optimism keeps us from making any real process

Right answer – FALSE (optimism motivates us to take initiative. And research has found that optimists don’t easily give up)


7. Fill in the blank

Optimism is not just about thoughts like ‘I will get there’ but about _________.

Right answer – exactly how can I do it

(optimism is not wishful thinking)


Guys I hope you enjoyed this quiz. It’s just a fun way to learn more about positive psychology. I hope you all liked it.

Any comments, feedback is always welcome! ๐Ÿ™‚

Let me know if you’d like to have more such quizzes in future.

Take care friends!! Stay safeโค๏ธ

Quiz time

1. Which of the following characteristics grateful people tend to exhibit?

A. Boastful

B. Mean

C. Too proud

D. Helpful and empathetic


2. In which of the following situations expressing gratitude will be helpful?

A. When you are coping with stress or trauma

B. When you have to build social bonds

C. When you want to savour life experiences

D. All of the above


3. State weather following statements are true or false.

A. Expressing gratitude tends to reduce the invidious comparisons with others.

B. Expressing gratitude can actually make negative emotions deter.

C. If you express gratitude, you may not take things for granted.


4. “Being a optimistic” means

A. Looking at the bright side in every situation

B. Being happy all the time

C. Talking about imaginary stuff with no logic

D. None of the above


5. Fill in the blank

Optimism is about considering problems as temporary and _________ causes.


6. True or false

Optimism keeps us from making any real process


7. Fill in the blank

Optimism is not just about thoughts like ‘I will get there’ but about _________.



I’ll post the answers tomorrow!

Good luck guys! ๐Ÿ‘

You can write your answers in comments below and check later if they were right. ๐Ÿ™‚

i am happy with my work

I work as a cleaner in Sumitra hospital. And I want to say, I am happy with my work. Yes I sweep the floor and clean patients rooms but for me it’s more than that. I take care of patients, talk to them for a while and comfort them in their illness.

Of course, I didn’t always wanted to be a hospital cleaner. My family comes from Rampur village. We don’t have much facilities there and one government school in entire village. I studied there and after my 10th wanted to become a CA.

That didn’t quite work out though. My father was a farmer. We had a few acres of land and did wheat plantation. That year unfortunately we had drought and we couldn’t make enough money. Being the elder son in family, I had to work at a industry.

I didn’t get a chance to pursue my education. I was married off when I was 22 and had to look for our family.

After 2 years the industry went bankrupt and we lost our jobs. That was when I started working for Sumitra hospital as a cleaner. The money was enough for us to meet all our needs.

One day I was cleaning for a cancer patient and he started talking to me. About his hobbies, family, life in general. His children were so busy working at their offices that they didn’t have time to visit their father frequently. His wife used to come every day. In a week I almost became a part of their family. They treated me so well, his wife always used to ask me about my wife and my daughter. And she also used to give some homemade sweets for my family. T

When I couldn’t come to work because I was ill, they kept on asking nurses about me. It felt so good! Even if in a small way, I have tried to make their life better, a little easier. And that matters way more than money.

There are many experiences as these. I don’t think I’m just a cleaner in Sumitra hospital. Its my family. I try to comfort all the patients and take care of them. Even if tomorrow I’ve a opportunity to leave this hospital and get a better job, I am not sure if I would! The connections I make every day with patients and their families makes me think I’m doing something meaningful. It makes me happy!


Most of the times how we perceive our work is important than the work itself.

P.S – guys its a purely fictional story to illustrate my point. It’s not about me or anyone I know.

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