Why is positive psychology important for you?

For many years psychologists were interested in abnormal behaviour and mental disorders. That’s why today for many people psychology seems to be equivalent to Abnormal Psychology.
But the field of psychology is much vast than this.

Psychologists now are interested in what consists in a “good life”? What makes our life meaningful? How can we achieve wellbeing? What makes us happy?

This gave birth to positive psychology in 1998.
Now the word “positive” doesn’t mean that this is the only branch of psychology that is important and others are insignificant or “negative”

Actually, positive psychology and abnormal psychology both work hand in hand to make human life better.

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How’d your life be without any doctors in town? Just your friends and family to make you happy.. will you really be happy? What if you get some illness? You need doctors for that.

In the same way Abnormal Psychology helps us by treating mental illness. And positive psychology helps us to enhance our happiness.
Both are necessary for overall well-being of mankind.
One helps us by reducing mental illness and other helps us by strengthening mental health.

Do you sometimes feel like you’re not really happy with your life? There’s nothing really bad happening to you.. but still, you don’t feel like you’re not living your life to the fullest.

The absence of negative doesn’t mean the presence of positive. That’s where positive psychology comes in. It helps you live a balanced and happy life. It deals with questions like – what makes you happy? What leads to wellbeing? What are the characteristics of happy couples? How can you be successful and happy? How can you enhance positive emotions in your life?
It deals with concepts like – gratitude, compassion, kindness, altruism, happiness, wellbeing, mindfulness, resilience, hope, savouring, grit, etc.

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We understand that talking rudely with someone constantly will damage our relationship with the other person. Does this mean that simply not talking rudely with someone will strengthen our relationship with other person?

Good behaviours are not simply the opposite of bad behaviours.
To strengthen your relationship with someone you might need to appreciate that person, spend quality time together, be kind to one another and make eachother laugh.

Sometimes people wonder what does their relationship lack when there are not really any conflicts happening. Most of the times it’s the absence of positive behaviours which strengthen the relationship.

That’s how positive psychology helps you. And this is why you need to understand what behaviours you need to practice for a happy and meaningful life.

Best possible selves

How many of the following statements you agree with?

1. I know all the things that are wrong in life

2. I spend too much time thinking about things that don’t go right

3. I don’t know what I really want in my life

4. Life no longer feels good, it’s all bad things happening around me

If you can relate to at least 2 of these statements keep reading. Here’s something you can do..

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Why don’t we think about good things that can happen in future?

Because we don’t want good to happen in future…?

Nah! That’s rubbish

So why not?

Maybe we have this fear that if we visualise everything good happening to us… We’ll be disheartened when it doesn’t happen.

Well yeah… Maybe

But then what to we do?

We spend so much time thinking about all that’s not going well in our life.

But do we ever ask ourselves what if this negative doesn’t happen? What if it’s not so intense? What if you realise that you’ve spent all my life thinking about things that could go wrong and it never happened?

Wouldn’t that be a wastage of your time and energy?

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Thinking positively about your future and your present or being optimistic, can have lots of benefits in the long run.

Imagine this. Rohan works in a bank. Though he never wanted to work in a bank, he dreamt of being a comic artist. He’s really good at making comics. He makes lots of funny, interesting comics. But he never sells them or shows them to anyone. Why? Because he’s pessimistic about his art. He thinks his profession cannot be changed now, that’s his destiny. He has to accept it.

What would have you done, if you were Rohan?

You’d have started your own Instagram page.. doing this “side hustle” thing. Creating videos on YouTube about making comics or sending your comics to magzines and all?

Why would you do that?

Because you believe there’s something better out there. Because you are “optimistic” about your future. Because you think you deserve what you dream of.

That’s why optimism is necessary. When you are optimistic about something and you think this can be done, you invest even more into that thing. You don’t easily give up.

Optimism motivates you to work hard.

Optimistic thinking enhances happiness. You feel good about yourself and your future. That affects your overall wellbeing.

If you have something to look forward to, you will feel energised, motivated, enthusiastic.

You will feel good about yourself and feel able to control your destiny

– Sonja Lyubomirsky

Well, all this seems like common sense right?

So here’s how you can apply this common sense in your daily life –

In this activity you have to write about how will your life look like 3/5 years from now.

“Imagine yourself in future, everything has gone as well as it possibly could. You have worked hard and succeeded at accomplishing all your life goals. Think of this as a realisation of your life dreams and your best potential”

These were the instructions given by Sonja Lyubomirsky to the participants who did this “best possible selves” activity. This wonderful activity was designed by Laura King – Professor at University of Missouri-Columbia.

If you think it’s all about “wishful thinking” or fantasizing your dream life, then hello, let me clear that.

No, it’s not about daydreaming or anything. You have to also find ways of how you can achieve that dream life. Think about what you are doing right now or what you can do to achieve your goals.

What are the benefits?

– For starters you’ll be clear about what you exactly want in your life. Think about it – how many of you have clear idea about how you want your life to look like in 3 years? And what are you doing about it now?

As I said you’ll find answer to these questions.

– Then, you will end up feeling a sense of autonomy about your future. And also a sense of responsibility, to make these dreams come true.

– If you do this activity once a week for 3 months or so, your happiness levels will gradually increase.

When you think about good stuff and most importantly write about good stuff, you tend to feel more motivated, dedicated towards your goal.

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If you identify yourself as a pessimist or want to feel more motivated and inspired towards your goals… What are you waiting for? Grab a pen and paper and do this activity!

And don’t forget to tell me how it goes! 😉

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Stay happy, stay blessed! ♡

Optimist

Yes I am an optimist
And no things don’t always work out for me

No I won’t tell you tomorrow will be better when your heart is broken today

No I won’t tell you, you will get 100 followers tomorrow when you’ve started your account just yesterday

No I won’t tell you life is always sunshine and rainbows

I go through hard times too
I do make mistakes
Even I experience disappointment and rejection

But there is one thing I know for sure –
No matter how difficult things look now, there is always hope.

You won’t feel better tomorrow, but eventually, you will
You may not get 100 followers the next day, but eventually, you will
You may feel low now, but eventually you will experience joy

Sometimes more than anything,
I feel good to imagine the world as rainbows and sunshine
Because if I don’t,
I might not feel like going on in life

That’s why I choose to focus on positives
No matter how small they seem!

And here’s a secret –
The more I look for positivity, the more goodness I find!

© Vrunda Chauk

Want long term happiness in your career? This can help

Do you like Japan? Oh I love it! The culture of Japan sounds pretty awesome! Their food, their dresses, their anime, their traditions, their lifestyle… It fascinates me.

Okay so, this post is not about Japan. You might be wondering what long term happiness has to do with Japan?!

Oh well, there’s a reason I talked about Japan because the concept that I’m going to introduce to you, originally comes from Japan.

So what does it mean to be happy?

How can you achieve long term happiness?

Japanese people have this really interesting concept that I’m going to share with you all today, which many people have found to bring long term happiness in their lives.

It’s called ‘Ikigai’

What is Ikigai?

So Ikigai literally means a “reason for being”. The word Ikigai has been derived from ‘iki’ meaning life and ‘kai’ meaning realisation of hopes and expectations.

Its something you can do every single day which can make you happy in the long term.

“Happiness cannot be attained by wanting to be happy – it must come as the unintended consequence of working for a goal greater than oneself.”

– Victor Frankl

Many people think not having to do anything will make them happy. Seriously?!

You can spend a week without doing anything. But what next? You gotta do something in your life! You can to do something you like, something you’re good at and something that brings happiness and meaning in your life.

Now speaking of work, let me be clear. Don’t think that “If you love what you do, you won’t have to work a single day in your life”. I haven’t found that to be true.

I mean doing what you love is definitely interesting and cool but it still feels like work. You get tired and exhausted but you have to keep going.

But if you choose your work, based on the following guidelines, you will be happy with your work and achieve long term happiness and satisfaction in your life.

Now, tell me –

1. What is the activity that you love doing? Something you really like to do and can spend hours doing that.

Because if you want to be happy, you need to do something you like. Or you might not want to pursue it long term.

2. What is something you’re good at? I mean what’s your strength? What is something that you can do much better than others?

Oh you cannot do something you’re not good at and be happy! haha… I mean you need to have the necessary skills to keep going. Or you might get bored soon or even depressed.

3. What is something that you can get paid for? I mean how can you earn money by doing what you like?

Money matters! You need to get paid well to enjoy your life. Yeah, I know money can’t buy happiness. But if money is spent to get some kind of experience, it can make you happy! Because memories last longer than material things and you can cherish them and be happy.

4. Is what you like to do beneficial to the world in some way? How can you help others by what you do and bring a positive change in their lives? Or how can you ease their lives by solving a problem and make a difference?

You are happy when you help others. Many studies have proven this. When someone tells you you’ve made a positive impact in their life or helped them in some manner, how does that feel? You feel extremely happy right? You are also satisfied with your life and your work when you’re constantly seeing the positive impact you’re making.

There are four combinations that come from these 4 criterion.

If you do something you love and something you’re good at –

That’s your passion.

But having a passion is not enough.

You gotta find ways you can get paid for it and figure out how it can be helpful or beneficial to others.

If you do something you’re good at and something you can get paid for –

That’s your profession.

Many people have their profession, but according to Ikigai, to be more happy you need to figure out whether you really love what you’re doing and how can you change the world for the better by doing so.

If you something that you get paid for and you believe it makes the world a better place –

That’s a Vocation.

But that’s not enough either. You need to figure out how can you get better at this or how can you improve your service and whether or not you like the job you do.

If you do something the world needs and something you love –

That’s your Mission.

Now it’s great to have a mission! But you also need to figure out how can you get paid well for your services and how can you improve your work, how can you get better and better at what you do.

And if –

You have the all four…

Congratulations!

You are going to be happy and satisfied with your work in the long run.

So, keep doing what you’re doing!

I also want you to remember that this is not the only criteria to be happy.

Doing this may not be actually possible for some people and I totally get it! It’s okay. Life has many more chances to be happy.

But if you’re struggling with your job, work, profession, career, this can definitely help. This is something you can strive to achieve.

To be honest with you guys I have a Mission right now. I need to figure out a way to earn from it and how to get better at what I do.

Hopefully I’ll be able to achieve the balance soon.

What about you guys, what do you have? What do you need to work on?

Did you find this interesting and helpful?

Please let me know in the comments below!

Thank you so much for being here!❤️

Hope you have a happy and productive week!! 🙂

What’s next? Nah. I enjoy what’s now.

Everyone these days is waiting for something. Everyone is expecting something new, something different to happen.

We have gotten into the habit of asking ‘What’s next?’ , What’s the next big thing you want? What’s the next big thing you are waiting for?

It’s something like – when we’re children, we want to grow up. When we grow up, we want to become child again.

I mean we want some things to change, but when they do, we want to go back again.

This happens a lottt (hating your present and wishing it were different).

When you are single you wish you were engaged with someone, when you are, you again wish to be single.

When you are not earning you wish for the time you would, when the time comes, you wish to get out of it.

When you are in school you are excited about your college life. When you start going to college, you miss school.

When you are at home, you wish to step out and live on your own, when the time comes, you long for the warmth of your home.

Soo, instead of expecting something different – Why don’t we cherish our present moment?

If you do not enjoy a moment, you lose it forever. If you enjoy it, it is yours forever.

-Debasish Mridha

Don’t you think we should stop waiting for the next big thing and start enjoying our life moment to moment?

And when you start living the present moment, believe me you will find so many things that are beautiful right now. So much to appreciate. So much to notice. So much to feel.

As I write this – I’m at my home. There won’t be any lectures in college today. So am I waiting for the time when I’ll go to college and meet my friends? No. (i mean of course i want to meet them but i have decided to enjoy the present moment) When I’m at home I want to spend some time with my parents. I want to feel the moments when they are with me, we all are living together, I get to see them everyday. I want to notice the way they smile, I want to remember their voice when they say my name.

I want to enjoy time with my little sister. I want to make her laugh, I want to paint with her, play with her, sing and dance with her, watch her grow.

Because I know – This time won’t come back.

I choose to live it fully. I choose to feel the moments with my loved ones. I choose to stay in present.

Above all, we cannot afford not to live in the present. He is blessed over all mortals who loses no moment of the passing life in remembering the past.

– Henry David Thoreau

Look around you, everything that you see can change in a year.

Are there some people you want to spend more time with?

Are there some things you want to do for them?

Are there some plans you need to execute?

Are there any trips you want to plan?

Is there someone whom you want to remind of how loved he/she is?

Is there anything you need to do for yourself?

You better do it Right Now, because you haven’t seen tomorrow.

Rejoicing in ordinary things is not sentimental or trite. It actually takes guts.

– Pema Chodron

Even when you step into sunshine in winter. Close your eyes and feel it’s warmth. Feel that’s it’s 2019. This day will never come back. Open your eyes and notice the surroundings, do you find beauty? Smile at your friends and enjoy your time with them.

Many people are alive, but don’t touch the miracle of being alive.

– Thich Nath Hanh

There’s this beautiful poem I’d like to share –

Live In The Moment

Listen, feel, love completely;
Absorb, enjoy oh so sweetly.
Nothing exists but right now.
Show the world you know how.

Immersed, focused, involved;
Sad moments will be resolved
Just as joyous times go fast,
Sad’s shadow will lose its cast.

It’s but a moment all will live,
So leave an imprint that will give
Your signature on the past
So your moments now will last.

– Gregory Huyette