This is the time of ‘New year New me’ phase.
Many of you might’ve made your new year resolutions. Along with them, here are some gentle reminders that you need to apply in 2k19.
1. Self love –
Remember at no time, under no circumstances is self hate healthier than self love.
Even if you behaved in a way that you dislike, loathing yourself will only lead to immobilisation and damage. Instead of hating yourself, develop positive feelings. Learn from the error and resolve not to repeat it, but don’t associate it with your self worth.
– Wayne Dyer
• It’s okay to make mistakes. You’re not the only one. Learn from your mistakes and don’t repeat them. But please! Don’t associate your mistakes with your worth.
Mistakes are just a part of learning process. But your worth.. it’s something much more important.
• Be kind and gentle with yourself. Forgive yourself for not knowing better, for not doing better.
Progress happenes when you truly understand and accept what you need to do. It doesn’t happen when you beat yourself up for making the wrong decisions.
At no time, under no circumstances is self hate healthier than self love.
2. Express your love, spread love.
There is something breathtakingly beautiful in the moments of smaller magic that occurs then you strip down and are honest with those who are important to you. Let that girl know she inspires you. Tell your mother you love her in front of your friends. Express, express express. Open yourself up, do not harden yourself to the world and be bold in who and how you love. There is courage in that.
– Bianca Sparacino
• When you see beauty in someone, tell them. You see, we are for a limited time in this world. So why not share our light while we’re here? Why not touch a heart with our loving words? Why not lift someone’s spirit with our kindness?
Let’s make a resolution that we will tell people how much they mean to us, how much we love them and value them.
• Take a moment to imagine how would your life be, without these people around you. Express your love and gratitude often. It strengthens the relationship.
3. Take care of yourself
Sometimes unconditional love is not about accepting the person regardless any circumstance. Sometimes it’s about looking deeply in a situation and recognising that in staying with someone that’s actually hurting us, we are hurting the other person and well.
Because in our ‘unconditional’ acceptance, we are allowing the other person to believe that their behaviour is acceptable. And this prevents them from growing. Impeding someone’s growth is not love, knowing when to let go is.
– Raz Soos
• You belong to yourself first. Don’t choose to continue a toxic relationship just because you need to prove your “unconditional” love. Understand that you need to let go of toxic relationships that no longer serve you. Relationships are meant to support you and provide a good environment for your growth. If that’s not happening you have to let go. For yourself, for your peace.
4. You are allowed to change –
Our identity is like a kaleidoscope. With each turn, we reset it not to a former final state, but to a new one that reflects the here-and-now positions of the pieces we have to work with. The design is always new because the shifts are continual. That is what makes kaleidoscopes and us so appealing and beautiful.
– David Richo
• You have to let go of some patterns of thought, some behaviours that no longer serve you. You are under no obligation to be the same person you were past year. Growth and change are important as they help you adjust to the new environment.
• Analyse yourself. Are you too scared to change? You get this life once, so just make it your masterpiece! Imagine the best possible version of yourself. Imagine best possible version of yourself for you! Don’t let others expectations affect this. Be YOU.
Once you know that, take small steps persistently in that direction.
It’s beautiful to grow and adapt to new surroundings.
Change as many times and you need to! 🙂
5. Be gentle with yourself –
For some reason we are truly convinced that if we criticize ourselves, the criticism will lead to change. If we are harsh, we believe we end up being kind. If we shame ourselves, we believe we end up being loving to ourselves. It has never been true, not for a moment that shame leads to love. Only love leads to love.
– Geneen Roth
• Have you ever seen long lasting improvement in your behaviour after critising yourself?
Imagine yourself as a kid, would you like it when your parents scold you and criticise you for your mistakes OR would you like it when they told you gently about what are the consequences of your action and why shouldn’t you do it.
I’d prefer when they told me gently. That would encourage me to continue my behaviour willingly for a long time.
Then whyyy are you so harsh on yourself?!
Talk to yourself as if you’re talking to the person you love the most (because you ARE).
• Long lasting change or improvement in behaviour beings with love and willingness to better yourself. Encouragement leads to progress, not criticism.
When you criticise yourself, nothing ‘good’ happens. You being to feel you cannot do this, you’re not worth it, it’s too much for you, you don’t deserve this, etc.
Start encouraging yourself and being compassionate with yourself.
6. Don’t dwell too much on others opinions, they keep changing.
The moon doesn’t go through phrases, our perspective of the moon goes through phases. No matter what calender says, the moon is always full. Regardless of someone’s opinion, perspective or inability to see it as whole and complete, the moon is unapologetically full. I find wisdom and strength in this truth.
– Steve Maraboli
• Like the moon, even your life goes through phases, sometimes it’s completely dark, sometimes it completely bright. And many a times, it’s a combination of both. But even in your struggles, remember this is not the complete you, you are much more than your struggle and hardship.
• You are whole, you are complete, no matter what they say, you have that spark to shine again.
7. Life goes by, live it
Oh my God! What if you wake up some day and you’re 65 or 75 and you never got your novel or memoir written, or you didn’t go swimming in warm pools or oceans because your thighs were jiggly or you had a nice big comfortable tummy, or you were just so stung out on perfectionism and people pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy, creative live of imagination and radical stillness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It’s going to break your heart. Don’t let this happen.
– Anne Lamott
• You’ll have more regret for the things you didn’t do as compared to those you did.
8. Practice self compassion
Picture yourself when you were five. In fact, dig out a photo of little you at that time and tape it to your mirror. How would you treat her, love her, feed her? How would you nurture her if you were the mother of little you? I bet you would protect her fiercely while giving her space to spread her itty-bitty wings. She’d get naps, healthy food, imagination time and adventures into the world. If playground bullies hurt her feelings, you’d hug her tears away and give her perspective. When tantrums or meltdowns turned her into a poltergeist, you’d demand a loving timeout in a naughty chair. From this day forward I want you to extend that same compassion to your adult self.”
– Kris Carr
• Practice self compassion. In tough times remind yourself-
This is a moment of suffering.
Suffering is a part of life.
May I be kind to myself.
9. Live the little moments.
A morning sky, a particular perfume that you had once loved and that brings back subtle memories with it, a line from a forgotten poem that you had come across again… I tell you, that it is on things like these that our lives depend.
– Oscar Wilde
• Enjoy your life!! Find beauty in little things that make you smile. These little things truly mean so much.
10. Be grateful
(At the end of an exhausting day) I think of all the things I am grateful for… My family, my health, my business, my friends… And I try to focus on that and breathe.
– Diane von Furstenberg
• Be grateful for the things you have and appreciate and enjoy their existence.
You’ll realise how blessed you are!
So, these were the 10 quotes I want to remind you guys to apply in your life this year.
I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you’ll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you’ll make something that didn’t exist before you made it, that you will be loved and you will be liked, and that you will have people to live and like in return. And most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise and that you will always be kind.
– Neil Gaiman