Best possible selves

How many of the following statements you agree with?

1. I know all the things that are wrong in life

2. I spend too much time thinking about things that don’t go right

3. I don’t know what I really want in my life

4. Life no longer feels good, it’s all bad things happening around me

If you can relate to at least 2 of these statements keep reading. Here’s something you can do..

---

Why don’t we think about good things that can happen in future?

Because we don’t want good to happen in future…?

Nah! That’s rubbish

So why not?

Maybe we have this fear that if we visualise everything good happening to us… We’ll be disheartened when it doesn’t happen.

Well yeah… Maybe

But then what to we do?

We spend so much time thinking about all that’s not going well in our life.

But do we ever ask ourselves what if this negative doesn’t happen? What if it’s not so intense? What if you realise that you’ve spent all my life thinking about things that could go wrong and it never happened?

Wouldn’t that be a wastage of your time and energy?

---

Thinking positively about your future and your present or being optimistic, can have lots of benefits in the long run.

Imagine this. Rohan works in a bank. Though he never wanted to work in a bank, he dreamt of being a comic artist. He’s really good at making comics. He makes lots of funny, interesting comics. But he never sells them or shows them to anyone. Why? Because he’s pessimistic about his art. He thinks his profession cannot be changed now, that’s his destiny. He has to accept it.

What would have you done, if you were Rohan?

You’d have started your own Instagram page.. doing this “side hustle” thing. Creating videos on YouTube about making comics or sending your comics to magzines and all?

Why would you do that?

Because you believe there’s something better out there. Because you are “optimistic” about your future. Because you think you deserve what you dream of.

That’s why optimism is necessary. When you are optimistic about something and you think this can be done, you invest even more into that thing. You don’t easily give up.

Optimism motivates you to work hard.

Optimistic thinking enhances happiness. You feel good about yourself and your future. That affects your overall wellbeing.

If you have something to look forward to, you will feel energised, motivated, enthusiastic.

You will feel good about yourself and feel able to control your destiny

– Sonja Lyubomirsky

Well, all this seems like common sense right?

So here’s how you can apply this common sense in your daily life –

In this activity you have to write about how will your life look like 3/5 years from now.

“Imagine yourself in future, everything has gone as well as it possibly could. You have worked hard and succeeded at accomplishing all your life goals. Think of this as a realisation of your life dreams and your best potential”

These were the instructions given by Sonja Lyubomirsky to the participants who did this “best possible selves” activity. This wonderful activity was designed by Laura King – Professor at University of Missouri-Columbia.

If you think it’s all about “wishful thinking” or fantasizing your dream life, then hello, let me clear that.

No, it’s not about daydreaming or anything. You have to also find ways of how you can achieve that dream life. Think about what you are doing right now or what you can do to achieve your goals.

What are the benefits?

– For starters you’ll be clear about what you exactly want in your life. Think about it – how many of you have clear idea about how you want your life to look like in 3 years? And what are you doing about it now?

As I said you’ll find answer to these questions.

– Then, you will end up feeling a sense of autonomy about your future. And also a sense of responsibility, to make these dreams come true.

– If you do this activity once a week for 3 months or so, your happiness levels will gradually increase.

When you think about good stuff and most importantly write about good stuff, you tend to feel more motivated, dedicated towards your goal.

---

If you identify yourself as a pessimist or want to feel more motivated and inspired towards your goals… What are you waiting for? Grab a pen and paper and do this activity!

And don’t forget to tell me how it goes! 😉

---

Stay happy, stay blessed! ♡

What’s next? Nah. I enjoy what’s now.

Everyone these days is waiting for something. Everyone is expecting something new, something different to happen.

We have gotten into the habit of asking ‘What’s next?’ , What’s the next big thing you want? What’s the next big thing you are waiting for?

It’s something like – when we’re children, we want to grow up. When we grow up, we want to become child again.

I mean we want some things to change, but when they do, we want to go back again.

This happens a lottt (hating your present and wishing it were different).

When you are single you wish you were engaged with someone, when you are, you again wish to be single.

When you are not earning you wish for the time you would, when the time comes, you wish to get out of it.

When you are in school you are excited about your college life. When you start going to college, you miss school.

When you are at home, you wish to step out and live on your own, when the time comes, you long for the warmth of your home.

Soo, instead of expecting something different – Why don’t we cherish our present moment?

If you do not enjoy a moment, you lose it forever. If you enjoy it, it is yours forever.

-Debasish Mridha

Don’t you think we should stop waiting for the next big thing and start enjoying our life moment to moment?

And when you start living the present moment, believe me you will find so many things that are beautiful right now. So much to appreciate. So much to notice. So much to feel.

As I write this – I’m at my home. There won’t be any lectures in college today. So am I waiting for the time when I’ll go to college and meet my friends? No. (i mean of course i want to meet them but i have decided to enjoy the present moment) When I’m at home I want to spend some time with my parents. I want to feel the moments when they are with me, we all are living together, I get to see them everyday. I want to notice the way they smile, I want to remember their voice when they say my name.

I want to enjoy time with my little sister. I want to make her laugh, I want to paint with her, play with her, sing and dance with her, watch her grow.

Because I know – This time won’t come back.

I choose to live it fully. I choose to feel the moments with my loved ones. I choose to stay in present.

Above all, we cannot afford not to live in the present. He is blessed over all mortals who loses no moment of the passing life in remembering the past.

– Henry David Thoreau

Look around you, everything that you see can change in a year.

Are there some people you want to spend more time with?

Are there some things you want to do for them?

Are there some plans you need to execute?

Are there any trips you want to plan?

Is there someone whom you want to remind of how loved he/she is?

Is there anything you need to do for yourself?

You better do it Right Now, because you haven’t seen tomorrow.

Rejoicing in ordinary things is not sentimental or trite. It actually takes guts.

– Pema Chodron

Even when you step into sunshine in winter. Close your eyes and feel it’s warmth. Feel that’s it’s 2019. This day will never come back. Open your eyes and notice the surroundings, do you find beauty? Smile at your friends and enjoy your time with them.

Many people are alive, but don’t touch the miracle of being alive.

– Thich Nath Hanh

There’s this beautiful poem I’d like to share –

Live In The Moment

Listen, feel, love completely;
Absorb, enjoy oh so sweetly.
Nothing exists but right now.
Show the world you know how.

Immersed, focused, involved;
Sad moments will be resolved
Just as joyous times go fast,
Sad’s shadow will lose its cast.

It’s but a moment all will live,
So leave an imprint that will give
Your signature on the past
So your moments now will last.

– Gregory Huyette

12 Quotes that will support you in your healing process.

If there’s something I’m proud of doing in 2018, it’s that I was able to heal myself.

Here are some quotes that supported me in my healing process and I hope this will help you go through it with more awareness and kindness –

When you walk away from the source of pain, you start healing.

– Najwa Zebian

Honestly, this should be the first step. The more you distance yourself from the source of pain, the more you can focus on yourself, your pain, your healing.

She’s an explorer, unafraid to travel within her heart and mind, ready to discover new spaces to heal – releasing burdens to planting wisdom wherever her awareness takes her.

– Yung Pueblo

When you start healing, you understand that you need to let go, let go of the thought patterns and behaviours that don’t serve you. You have to keep faith that the only YOU know what’s best for you. The knowledge or wisdom you are seeking is deep down in your heart. You have to listen to it and be gentle with yourself.

She once believed that the damage to her mind and heart was permanent, until she met wisdom, who taught her that no pain or wound is eternal, that all can be healed and that love can grow even in the toughest parts or her being.

– Yung Pueblo

Keep faith and keep going.

Perhaps it’s time to stop being so hard on your heart. Can’t you see she’s doing the best she can to stay standing against all that’s cold and harsh and hurtful in the world?

Forgive her for beating so fast. She’s just trying to keep up.

Hold her gently. Remind her to exhale. Let her rest today.

– Rebecca Ray

This will be much much easier if you are kind to yourself. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for not knowing better. Forgive yourself for not doing better. Be gentle and kind with yourself.

You know these things that you need to hear sometimes?

Like you’re doing great and this is tough but you can do it and you are totally, absolutely enough?

You’re allowed to say those things to yourself.

– Rebecca Ray

If there’s something I wish I knew in my teenage its how to practice self compassion.

Now that I know how to be kind to myself, I realise the importance of it and the wonders that can happen if you are just kind to yourself.

I literally wrote down what I wanted to hear at that moment and said that to myself. Kindly. Gently. It made me feel much better.

Her rebirth was stunning. She lifted herself from the depths of despair, grasped her dreams, embedded them in her heart and walked forward into a future only her will and vision could control.

– Yung Pueblo

Reading this gave me strength I needed. The thought that I have my dreams, my passion, something to look forward to, made me more willing to let go of the pain and arose a strong desire to move forward.

Hope is not a fool.

She doesn’t promise you it won’t hurt. Or that it will be easy. She doesn’t even tell you the way.

But she does remind you that it matters. And as long as you’re seeking, Hope is listening.

– Rebecca Ray

Hope…. When you feel anything but hopeful, you should have hope?

As ironical as it might sound, you have to believe you will get through this to actually go through. It’s not possible to be hopeful 24×7, but when you feel like quitting, just remind yourself that this struggle will end, hopefully much sooner than you think.

Healing yourself will ask more of you –

More rest

More self love

More letting go

More time for learning

More space for transformation

More honesty about how you feel

More time developing good habits

More courage to try new practices

More time cultivating your inner peace

More faith in yourself and the process.

– Yung Pueblo

He said it best.

Remember that you are a work in progress. You are not perfect. You are not expected to be. Do not allow the fear of falling to stop you from jumping. Do not allow the fear of responsibility to stop you from committing. Do not allow the fear of exposure to stop you from shining.

– Najwa Zebian

You are not perfect and that’s okay. Do not burden yourself with unrealistic standards of perfection to achieve.

Don’t loose hope.

Someone, somewhere is looking for the exact same love that you have to offer. The exact same love that the one who hurt you did not appreciate. Don’t loose hope. And don’t settle.

The most beautiful love stories are those that come after you realise what you deserve and you actually finally get it.

You deserve someone who loves your way of love. Someone who loves you.

– Najwa Zebian

This gives you a relief. That everything is going to be okay. There’s nothing wrong with your love, nothing wrong with you.

Things I know about healing –

1. You get to set the pace, no one else.

2. You get to define what growth looks like for you.

3. You get to start over as many time as it takes.

– Rebecca Ray

Remember it’s your healing. It’s for you. You know better. It’s okay even if your healing doesn’t look like someone else’s.

And remember.. you are NOT alone in this. It might seem never ending storm, but you are not alone. Share your struggles with your family or close friend or a therapist.

Someone who listens to you patiently, doesn’t criticise you and lets you know you are not alone in this. Someone who supports and encourages you.

Seek help whenever you need.

It hurt. And she carried on.

It failed. And she carried on.

It broke. And she carried on.

She carried on. And it passed.

She carried on. And it changed.

She carried on. And it was beautiful.

– Rebecca Ray