Why is positive psychology important for you?

For many years psychologists were interested in abnormal behaviour and mental disorders. That’s why today for many people psychology seems to be equivalent to Abnormal Psychology.
But the field of psychology is much vast than this.

Psychologists now are interested in what consists in a “good life”? What makes our life meaningful? How can we achieve wellbeing? What makes us happy?

This gave birth to positive psychology in 1998.
Now the word “positive” doesn’t mean that this is the only branch of psychology that is important and others are insignificant or “negative”

Actually, positive psychology and abnormal psychology both work hand in hand to make human life better.

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How’d your life be without any doctors in town? Just your friends and family to make you happy.. will you really be happy? What if you get some illness? You need doctors for that.

In the same way Abnormal Psychology helps us by treating mental illness. And positive psychology helps us to enhance our happiness.
Both are necessary for overall well-being of mankind.
One helps us by reducing mental illness and other helps us by strengthening mental health.

Do you sometimes feel like you’re not really happy with your life? There’s nothing really bad happening to you.. but still, you don’t feel like you’re not living your life to the fullest.

The absence of negative doesn’t mean the presence of positive. That’s where positive psychology comes in. It helps you live a balanced and happy life. It deals with questions like – what makes you happy? What leads to wellbeing? What are the characteristics of happy couples? How can you be successful and happy? How can you enhance positive emotions in your life?
It deals with concepts like – gratitude, compassion, kindness, altruism, happiness, wellbeing, mindfulness, resilience, hope, savouring, grit, etc.

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We understand that talking rudely with someone constantly will damage our relationship with the other person. Does this mean that simply not talking rudely with someone will strengthen our relationship with other person?

Good behaviours are not simply the opposite of bad behaviours.
To strengthen your relationship with someone you might need to appreciate that person, spend quality time together, be kind to one another and make eachother laugh.

Sometimes people wonder what does their relationship lack when there are not really any conflicts happening. Most of the times it’s the absence of positive behaviours which strengthen the relationship.

That’s how positive psychology helps you. And this is why you need to understand what behaviours you need to practice for a happy and meaningful life.

Is talent all that it takes?

Yesterday i met an old friend of mine. She is an amazing dancer. She has won lots of competitions and performed at many events. Watching her dance is actually a treat. The way her body moves to the rhythm, the way her face expresses the lyrics and the enegry she radiates.. it’s  a beautiful experience.
She is so busy with her shoots these days, i couldn’t help but admire her.

“You are sooo talented! I love to watch you on stage, you just rule the stage girl!”

“Hehe.. thanks! And i am not really sure about the talent thing though”

“What do you mean?” I was surprised. I thought she was too humble to take the credit

“I have practiced a lot you know. I love dance. That’s true. But it didn’t happen overnight. There were times when i had to practice for 6-7 hours a day. I did that for months. That actually got me to where i am today”

Then she told me about her sleepless nights, her struggle to keep up with practice, the frustration and disappointment she experienced in her early days and how she kept going despite of all that.

How easy it is to label someone as talented or gifted and stop wondering how they did it. Instead of actually taking time to understand about their struggle and hardships and sacrifice.

We don’t want to hear about it now, do we?
We like to think of great people as somehow born with greatness and others as not.

Talent is a real thing, true. But many a times effort counts twice.

Angela Duckworth a psychologist, found a very important factor that high achievers have in common, grit.
“Grit is the perseverance and passion towards long term goals. It is about working on something you really care about so much that you’re willing to stay loyal to it. It’s doing what you love, but not just falling in love – staying in love”
– Angela Duckworth

Her studies found that our potential is one thing. What we do with it is another.
She states a very interesting theory which says –
Skill = Talent × effort
Achievement = skill × effort

Here, as we can see, effort literally counts twice.

When asked Will Smith, he put it this way –

“The only thing that I see that is distinctly different about me is: I am not afraid to die on a treadmill. I will not be outworked, period. You might have more talent than me, you might be smarter than me, you might even be sexier than me. You might be all of those things. You got me in nine categories. But if we get on the treadmill together, there’s two things: you’re getting off first or I’m going to die. It’s really that simple.”
– Will Smith

“The seperation of talent and skill is one of the greatest misunderstood concepts for people who are trying to excel, who have dreams, who want to do things. Talent you have naturally. Skill is only developed by hours and hours and hours of beating on your craft”.
– Will Smith

So maybe what success really needs is effort. Lots of effort.

How can we apply this in our life?
Here are a few suggestions –

1. Stop thinking you’re not talented enough to do a particular task. Maybe if you put in enough effort, you will end up mastering it.

2. Spend more time working on your craft, your skill. Something you want to excel at. Try to get better with each stroke.

3. Stay focused, period. Select one important career goal in your life and stay focused. No switching sides when it gets hard. No changing the lanes when you fail. Stay loyal to your end goal. You might want to find different ways to get there, but stay persistent to achieve your goals.

To be honest, I’m working on the same. Trying to stay focused and devote more time to my work. Let’s get together in this and make it happen.

Cheers to our success! 🙂

Best possible selves

How many of the following statements you agree with?

1. I know all the things that are wrong in life

2. I spend too much time thinking about things that don’t go right

3. I don’t know what I really want in my life

4. Life no longer feels good, it’s all bad things happening around me

If you can relate to at least 2 of these statements keep reading. Here’s something you can do..

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Why don’t we think about good things that can happen in future?

Because we don’t want good to happen in future…?

Nah! That’s rubbish

So why not?

Maybe we have this fear that if we visualise everything good happening to us… We’ll be disheartened when it doesn’t happen.

Well yeah… Maybe

But then what to we do?

We spend so much time thinking about all that’s not going well in our life.

But do we ever ask ourselves what if this negative doesn’t happen? What if it’s not so intense? What if you realise that you’ve spent all my life thinking about things that could go wrong and it never happened?

Wouldn’t that be a wastage of your time and energy?

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Thinking positively about your future and your present or being optimistic, can have lots of benefits in the long run.

Imagine this. Rohan works in a bank. Though he never wanted to work in a bank, he dreamt of being a comic artist. He’s really good at making comics. He makes lots of funny, interesting comics. But he never sells them or shows them to anyone. Why? Because he’s pessimistic about his art. He thinks his profession cannot be changed now, that’s his destiny. He has to accept it.

What would have you done, if you were Rohan?

You’d have started your own Instagram page.. doing this “side hustle” thing. Creating videos on YouTube about making comics or sending your comics to magzines and all?

Why would you do that?

Because you believe there’s something better out there. Because you are “optimistic” about your future. Because you think you deserve what you dream of.

That’s why optimism is necessary. When you are optimistic about something and you think this can be done, you invest even more into that thing. You don’t easily give up.

Optimism motivates you to work hard.

Optimistic thinking enhances happiness. You feel good about yourself and your future. That affects your overall wellbeing.

If you have something to look forward to, you will feel energised, motivated, enthusiastic.

You will feel good about yourself and feel able to control your destiny

– Sonja Lyubomirsky

Well, all this seems like common sense right?

So here’s how you can apply this common sense in your daily life –

In this activity you have to write about how will your life look like 3/5 years from now.

“Imagine yourself in future, everything has gone as well as it possibly could. You have worked hard and succeeded at accomplishing all your life goals. Think of this as a realisation of your life dreams and your best potential”

These were the instructions given by Sonja Lyubomirsky to the participants who did this “best possible selves” activity. This wonderful activity was designed by Laura King – Professor at University of Missouri-Columbia.

If you think it’s all about “wishful thinking” or fantasizing your dream life, then hello, let me clear that.

No, it’s not about daydreaming or anything. You have to also find ways of how you can achieve that dream life. Think about what you are doing right now or what you can do to achieve your goals.

What are the benefits?

– For starters you’ll be clear about what you exactly want in your life. Think about it – how many of you have clear idea about how you want your life to look like in 3 years? And what are you doing about it now?

As I said you’ll find answer to these questions.

– Then, you will end up feeling a sense of autonomy about your future. And also a sense of responsibility, to make these dreams come true.

– If you do this activity once a week for 3 months or so, your happiness levels will gradually increase.

When you think about good stuff and most importantly write about good stuff, you tend to feel more motivated, dedicated towards your goal.

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If you identify yourself as a pessimist or want to feel more motivated and inspired towards your goals… What are you waiting for? Grab a pen and paper and do this activity!

And don’t forget to tell me how it goes! 😉

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Stay happy, stay blessed! ♡

Want long term happiness in your career? This can help

Do you like Japan? Oh I love it! The culture of Japan sounds pretty awesome! Their food, their dresses, their anime, their traditions, their lifestyle… It fascinates me.

Okay so, this post is not about Japan. You might be wondering what long term happiness has to do with Japan?!

Oh well, there’s a reason I talked about Japan because the concept that I’m going to introduce to you, originally comes from Japan.

So what does it mean to be happy?

How can you achieve long term happiness?

Japanese people have this really interesting concept that I’m going to share with you all today, which many people have found to bring long term happiness in their lives.

It’s called ‘Ikigai’

What is Ikigai?

So Ikigai literally means a “reason for being”. The word Ikigai has been derived from ‘iki’ meaning life and ‘kai’ meaning realisation of hopes and expectations.

Its something you can do every single day which can make you happy in the long term.

“Happiness cannot be attained by wanting to be happy – it must come as the unintended consequence of working for a goal greater than oneself.”

– Victor Frankl

Many people think not having to do anything will make them happy. Seriously?!

You can spend a week without doing anything. But what next? You gotta do something in your life! You can to do something you like, something you’re good at and something that brings happiness and meaning in your life.

Now speaking of work, let me be clear. Don’t think that “If you love what you do, you won’t have to work a single day in your life”. I haven’t found that to be true.

I mean doing what you love is definitely interesting and cool but it still feels like work. You get tired and exhausted but you have to keep going.

But if you choose your work, based on the following guidelines, you will be happy with your work and achieve long term happiness and satisfaction in your life.

Now, tell me –

1. What is the activity that you love doing? Something you really like to do and can spend hours doing that.

Because if you want to be happy, you need to do something you like. Or you might not want to pursue it long term.

2. What is something you’re good at? I mean what’s your strength? What is something that you can do much better than others?

Oh you cannot do something you’re not good at and be happy! haha… I mean you need to have the necessary skills to keep going. Or you might get bored soon or even depressed.

3. What is something that you can get paid for? I mean how can you earn money by doing what you like?

Money matters! You need to get paid well to enjoy your life. Yeah, I know money can’t buy happiness. But if money is spent to get some kind of experience, it can make you happy! Because memories last longer than material things and you can cherish them and be happy.

4. Is what you like to do beneficial to the world in some way? How can you help others by what you do and bring a positive change in their lives? Or how can you ease their lives by solving a problem and make a difference?

You are happy when you help others. Many studies have proven this. When someone tells you you’ve made a positive impact in their life or helped them in some manner, how does that feel? You feel extremely happy right? You are also satisfied with your life and your work when you’re constantly seeing the positive impact you’re making.

There are four combinations that come from these 4 criterion.

If you do something you love and something you’re good at –

That’s your passion.

But having a passion is not enough.

You gotta find ways you can get paid for it and figure out how it can be helpful or beneficial to others.

If you do something you’re good at and something you can get paid for –

That’s your profession.

Many people have their profession, but according to Ikigai, to be more happy you need to figure out whether you really love what you’re doing and how can you change the world for the better by doing so.

If you something that you get paid for and you believe it makes the world a better place –

That’s a Vocation.

But that’s not enough either. You need to figure out how can you get better at this or how can you improve your service and whether or not you like the job you do.

If you do something the world needs and something you love –

That’s your Mission.

Now it’s great to have a mission! But you also need to figure out how can you get paid well for your services and how can you improve your work, how can you get better and better at what you do.

And if –

You have the all four…

Congratulations!

You are going to be happy and satisfied with your work in the long run.

So, keep doing what you’re doing!

I also want you to remember that this is not the only criteria to be happy.

Doing this may not be actually possible for some people and I totally get it! It’s okay. Life has many more chances to be happy.

But if you’re struggling with your job, work, profession, career, this can definitely help. This is something you can strive to achieve.

To be honest with you guys I have a Mission right now. I need to figure out a way to earn from it and how to get better at what I do.

Hopefully I’ll be able to achieve the balance soon.

What about you guys, what do you have? What do you need to work on?

Did you find this interesting and helpful?

Please let me know in the comments below!

Thank you so much for being here!❤️

Hope you have a happy and productive week!! 🙂

What’s next? Nah. I enjoy what’s now.

Everyone these days is waiting for something. Everyone is expecting something new, something different to happen.

We have gotten into the habit of asking ‘What’s next?’ , What’s the next big thing you want? What’s the next big thing you are waiting for?

It’s something like – when we’re children, we want to grow up. When we grow up, we want to become child again.

I mean we want some things to change, but when they do, we want to go back again.

This happens a lottt (hating your present and wishing it were different).

When you are single you wish you were engaged with someone, when you are, you again wish to be single.

When you are not earning you wish for the time you would, when the time comes, you wish to get out of it.

When you are in school you are excited about your college life. When you start going to college, you miss school.

When you are at home, you wish to step out and live on your own, when the time comes, you long for the warmth of your home.

Soo, instead of expecting something different – Why don’t we cherish our present moment?

If you do not enjoy a moment, you lose it forever. If you enjoy it, it is yours forever.

-Debasish Mridha

Don’t you think we should stop waiting for the next big thing and start enjoying our life moment to moment?

And when you start living the present moment, believe me you will find so many things that are beautiful right now. So much to appreciate. So much to notice. So much to feel.

As I write this – I’m at my home. There won’t be any lectures in college today. So am I waiting for the time when I’ll go to college and meet my friends? No. (i mean of course i want to meet them but i have decided to enjoy the present moment) When I’m at home I want to spend some time with my parents. I want to feel the moments when they are with me, we all are living together, I get to see them everyday. I want to notice the way they smile, I want to remember their voice when they say my name.

I want to enjoy time with my little sister. I want to make her laugh, I want to paint with her, play with her, sing and dance with her, watch her grow.

Because I know – This time won’t come back.

I choose to live it fully. I choose to feel the moments with my loved ones. I choose to stay in present.

Above all, we cannot afford not to live in the present. He is blessed over all mortals who loses no moment of the passing life in remembering the past.

– Henry David Thoreau

Look around you, everything that you see can change in a year.

Are there some people you want to spend more time with?

Are there some things you want to do for them?

Are there some plans you need to execute?

Are there any trips you want to plan?

Is there someone whom you want to remind of how loved he/she is?

Is there anything you need to do for yourself?

You better do it Right Now, because you haven’t seen tomorrow.

Rejoicing in ordinary things is not sentimental or trite. It actually takes guts.

– Pema Chodron

Even when you step into sunshine in winter. Close your eyes and feel it’s warmth. Feel that’s it’s 2019. This day will never come back. Open your eyes and notice the surroundings, do you find beauty? Smile at your friends and enjoy your time with them.

Many people are alive, but don’t touch the miracle of being alive.

– Thich Nath Hanh

There’s this beautiful poem I’d like to share –

Live In The Moment

Listen, feel, love completely;
Absorb, enjoy oh so sweetly.
Nothing exists but right now.
Show the world you know how.

Immersed, focused, involved;
Sad moments will be resolved
Just as joyous times go fast,
Sad’s shadow will lose its cast.

It’s but a moment all will live,
So leave an imprint that will give
Your signature on the past
So your moments now will last.

– Gregory Huyette

Memes I’ve made

Here are some memes I’ve made. As I’m a psychology student I couldn’t help but add some good advice to it 😅 Still… Hope you all enjoy🤗

Ahhh… Self compassion!!!

In the times of adversity, there’s nothing as beautiful and as soothing as being kind to yourself.

Talking kindly to yourself helps. A lot.

You gotta believe in yourself and your dreams even if they tell you otherwise.

Say the truth! Haha… I mean seriously.. if you’ve worked hard and planned your moves carefully and you won, be proud of that. Tell them

😄 As you guys know…. I LOVE Disney… Added a psychological theory to it

Reminder to go slow and it’s okay and very necessary to rest and recharge.

Remember that time when you were like – Yay! Everything’s going good, I’m so happy! And then suddenly you realise – Oh shit! What if…….

Best feeling!

There’s always going to be someone who has better than you… That time you gotta stop comparing and start appreciating what you have. That makes you happy!

Suddenly you go like – ‘Oh no! I’m doing so bad, how can I get there? Everyone is…..’

That time when you begin negative self talk – Gently remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can. It might take time, but it will happen.

I don’t need you have to do something special to be worthy of love or happiness. What do you guys think?

Did you like these memes? Tell me in the comments below!

12 Quotes that will support you in your healing process.

If there’s something I’m proud of doing in 2018, it’s that I was able to heal myself.

Here are some quotes that supported me in my healing process and I hope this will help you go through it with more awareness and kindness –

When you walk away from the source of pain, you start healing.

– Najwa Zebian

Honestly, this should be the first step. The more you distance yourself from the source of pain, the more you can focus on yourself, your pain, your healing.

She’s an explorer, unafraid to travel within her heart and mind, ready to discover new spaces to heal – releasing burdens to planting wisdom wherever her awareness takes her.

– Yung Pueblo

When you start healing, you understand that you need to let go, let go of the thought patterns and behaviours that don’t serve you. You have to keep faith that the only YOU know what’s best for you. The knowledge or wisdom you are seeking is deep down in your heart. You have to listen to it and be gentle with yourself.

She once believed that the damage to her mind and heart was permanent, until she met wisdom, who taught her that no pain or wound is eternal, that all can be healed and that love can grow even in the toughest parts or her being.

– Yung Pueblo

Keep faith and keep going.

Perhaps it’s time to stop being so hard on your heart. Can’t you see she’s doing the best she can to stay standing against all that’s cold and harsh and hurtful in the world?

Forgive her for beating so fast. She’s just trying to keep up.

Hold her gently. Remind her to exhale. Let her rest today.

– Rebecca Ray

This will be much much easier if you are kind to yourself. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for not knowing better. Forgive yourself for not doing better. Be gentle and kind with yourself.

You know these things that you need to hear sometimes?

Like you’re doing great and this is tough but you can do it and you are totally, absolutely enough?

You’re allowed to say those things to yourself.

– Rebecca Ray

If there’s something I wish I knew in my teenage its how to practice self compassion.

Now that I know how to be kind to myself, I realise the importance of it and the wonders that can happen if you are just kind to yourself.

I literally wrote down what I wanted to hear at that moment and said that to myself. Kindly. Gently. It made me feel much better.

Her rebirth was stunning. She lifted herself from the depths of despair, grasped her dreams, embedded them in her heart and walked forward into a future only her will and vision could control.

– Yung Pueblo

Reading this gave me strength I needed. The thought that I have my dreams, my passion, something to look forward to, made me more willing to let go of the pain and arose a strong desire to move forward.

Hope is not a fool.

She doesn’t promise you it won’t hurt. Or that it will be easy. She doesn’t even tell you the way.

But she does remind you that it matters. And as long as you’re seeking, Hope is listening.

– Rebecca Ray

Hope…. When you feel anything but hopeful, you should have hope?

As ironical as it might sound, you have to believe you will get through this to actually go through. It’s not possible to be hopeful 24×7, but when you feel like quitting, just remind yourself that this struggle will end, hopefully much sooner than you think.

Healing yourself will ask more of you –

More rest

More self love

More letting go

More time for learning

More space for transformation

More honesty about how you feel

More time developing good habits

More courage to try new practices

More time cultivating your inner peace

More faith in yourself and the process.

– Yung Pueblo

He said it best.

Remember that you are a work in progress. You are not perfect. You are not expected to be. Do not allow the fear of falling to stop you from jumping. Do not allow the fear of responsibility to stop you from committing. Do not allow the fear of exposure to stop you from shining.

– Najwa Zebian

You are not perfect and that’s okay. Do not burden yourself with unrealistic standards of perfection to achieve.

Don’t loose hope.

Someone, somewhere is looking for the exact same love that you have to offer. The exact same love that the one who hurt you did not appreciate. Don’t loose hope. And don’t settle.

The most beautiful love stories are those that come after you realise what you deserve and you actually finally get it.

You deserve someone who loves your way of love. Someone who loves you.

– Najwa Zebian

This gives you a relief. That everything is going to be okay. There’s nothing wrong with your love, nothing wrong with you.

Things I know about healing –

1. You get to set the pace, no one else.

2. You get to define what growth looks like for you.

3. You get to start over as many time as it takes.

– Rebecca Ray

Remember it’s your healing. It’s for you. You know better. It’s okay even if your healing doesn’t look like someone else’s.

And remember.. you are NOT alone in this. It might seem never ending storm, but you are not alone. Share your struggles with your family or close friend or a therapist.

Someone who listens to you patiently, doesn’t criticise you and lets you know you are not alone in this. Someone who supports and encourages you.

Seek help whenever you need.

It hurt. And she carried on.

It failed. And she carried on.

It broke. And she carried on.

She carried on. And it passed.

She carried on. And it changed.

She carried on. And it was beautiful.

– Rebecca Ray

10 quotes you need to stop sharing and start applying in 2k19

This is the time of ‘New year New me’ phase.

Many of you might’ve made your new year resolutions. Along with them, here are some gentle reminders that you need to apply in 2k19.

1. Self love –

Remember at no time, under no circumstances is self hate healthier than self love.

Even if you behaved in a way that you dislike, loathing yourself will only lead to immobilisation and damage. Instead of hating yourself, develop positive feelings. Learn from the error and resolve not to repeat it, but don’t associate it with your self worth.

– Wayne Dyer

Remember –

• It’s okay to make mistakes. You’re not the only one. Learn from your mistakes and don’t repeat them. But please! Don’t associate your mistakes with your worth.

Mistakes are just a part of learning process. But your worth.. it’s something much more important.

• Be kind and gentle with yourself. Forgive yourself for not knowing better, for not doing better.

Progress happenes when you truly understand and accept what you need to do. It doesn’t happen when you beat yourself up for making the wrong decisions.

At no time, under no circumstances is self hate healthier than self love.

2. Express your love, spread love.

There is something breathtakingly beautiful in the moments of smaller magic that occurs then you strip down and are honest with those who are important to you. Let that girl know she inspires you. Tell your mother you love her in front of your friends. Express, express express. Open yourself up, do not harden yourself to the world and be bold in who and how you love. There is courage in that.

– Bianca Sparacino

Remember –

• When you see beauty in someone, tell them. You see, we are for a limited time in this world. So why not share our light while we’re here? Why not touch a heart with our loving words? Why not lift someone’s spirit with our kindness?

Let’s make a resolution that we will tell people how much they mean to us, how much we love them and value them.

• Take a moment to imagine how would your life be, without these people around you. Express your love and gratitude often. It strengthens the relationship.

3. Take care of yourself

Sometimes unconditional love is not about accepting the person regardless any circumstance. Sometimes it’s about looking deeply in a situation and recognising that in staying with someone that’s actually hurting us, we are hurting the other person and well.

Because in our ‘unconditional’ acceptance, we are allowing the other person to believe that their behaviour is acceptable. And this prevents them from growing. Impeding someone’s growth is not love, knowing when to let go is.

– Raz Soos

Remember –

• You belong to yourself first. Don’t choose to continue a toxic relationship just because you need to prove your “unconditional” love. Understand that you need to let go of toxic relationships that no longer serve you. Relationships are meant to support you and provide a good environment for your growth. If that’s not happening you have to let go. For yourself, for your peace.

4. You are allowed to change –

Our identity is like a kaleidoscope. With each turn, we reset it not to a former final state, but to a new one that reflects the here-and-now positions of the pieces we have to work with. The design is always new because the shifts are continual. That is what makes kaleidoscopes and us so appealing and beautiful.

– David Richo

Remember –

• You have to let go of some patterns of thought, some behaviours that no longer serve you. You are under no obligation to be the same person you were past year. Growth and change are important as they help you adjust to the new environment.

• Analyse yourself. Are you too scared to change? You get this life once, so just make it your masterpiece! Imagine the best possible version of yourself. Imagine best possible version of yourself for you! Don’t let others expectations affect this. Be YOU.

Once you know that, take small steps persistently in that direction.

It’s beautiful to grow and adapt to new surroundings.

Change as many times and you need to! 🙂

5. Be gentle with yourself –

For some reason we are truly convinced that if we criticize ourselves, the criticism will lead to change. If we are harsh, we believe we end up being kind. If we shame ourselves, we believe we end up being loving to ourselves. It has never been true, not for a moment that shame leads to love. Only love leads to love.

– Geneen Roth

Remember –

• Have you ever seen long lasting improvement in your behaviour after critising yourself?

Imagine yourself as a kid, would you like it when your parents scold you and criticise you for your mistakes OR would you like it when they told you gently about what are the consequences of your action and why shouldn’t you do it.

I’d prefer when they told me gently. That would encourage me to continue my behaviour willingly for a long time.

Then whyyy are you so harsh on yourself?!

Talk to yourself as if you’re talking to the person you love the most (because you ARE).

• Long lasting change or improvement in behaviour beings with love and willingness to better yourself. Encouragement leads to progress, not criticism.

When you criticise yourself, nothing ‘good’ happens. You being to feel you cannot do this, you’re not worth it, it’s too much for you, you don’t deserve this, etc.

Start encouraging yourself and being compassionate with yourself.

6. Don’t dwell too much on others opinions, they keep changing.

The moon doesn’t go through phrases, our perspective of the moon goes through phases. No matter what calender says, the moon is always full. Regardless of someone’s opinion, perspective or inability to see it as whole and complete, the moon is unapologetically full. I find wisdom and strength in this truth.

– Steve Maraboli

Remember –

• Like the moon, even your life goes through phases, sometimes it’s completely dark, sometimes it completely bright. And many a times, it’s a combination of both. But even in your struggles, remember this is not the complete you, you are much more than your struggle and hardship.

• You are whole, you are complete, no matter what they say, you have that spark to shine again.

7. Life goes by, live it

Oh my God! What if you wake up some day and you’re 65 or 75 and you never got your novel or memoir written, or you didn’t go swimming in warm pools or oceans because your thighs were jiggly or you had a nice big comfortable tummy, or you were just so stung out on perfectionism and people pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy, creative live of imagination and radical stillness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It’s going to break your heart. Don’t let this happen.

– Anne Lamott

Remember –

• You’ll have more regret for the things you didn’t do as compared to those you did.

8. Practice self compassion

Picture yourself when you were five. In fact, dig out a photo of little you at that time and tape it to your mirror. How would you treat her, love her, feed her? How would you nurture her if you were the mother of little you? I bet you would protect her fiercely while giving her space to spread her itty-bitty wings. She’d get naps, healthy food, imagination time and adventures into the world. If playground bullies hurt her feelings, you’d hug her tears away and give her perspective. When tantrums or meltdowns turned her into a poltergeist, you’d demand a loving timeout in a naughty chair. From this day forward I want you to extend that same compassion to your adult self.”
– Kris Carr

Remember –

• Practice self compassion. In tough times remind yourself-

This is a moment of suffering.

Suffering is a part of life.

May I be kind to myself.

9. Live the little moments.

A morning sky, a particular perfume that you had once loved and that brings back subtle memories with it, a line from a forgotten poem that you had come across again… I tell you, that it is on things like these that our lives depend.

– Oscar Wilde

Remember –

• Enjoy your life!! Find beauty in little things that make you smile. These little things truly mean so much.

10. Be grateful

(At the end of an exhausting day) I think of all the things I am grateful for… My family, my health, my business, my friends… And I try to focus on that and breathe.

– Diane von Furstenberg

Remember –

• Be grateful for the things you have and appreciate and enjoy their existence.

You’ll realise how blessed you are!

So, these were the 10 quotes I want to remind you guys to apply in your life this year.

I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you’ll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you’ll make something that didn’t exist before you made it, that you will be loved and you will be liked, and that you will have people to live and like in return. And most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise and that you will always be kind.

– Neil Gaiman

5 lessons psychology taught me and how can you apply them in your life

From all my psychology related posts you guys might have guessed that I’m a psychology student.

Learning psychology has enriched my life. There are so many things I came to realise about myself and others. It has helped me in my relationships with others and myself.

So today I want to share 5 such valuable lessons I learnt and how I applied them in my life and how can you do it too.

1. Everyone is unique – Psychology reminds this to you every second. Every single person is different.

“What sets you apart can sometimes feel like a burden and it’s not. And a lot of the time, it’s what makes you great.”

—Emma Stone

Human nature is very complex and unpredictable. Everyone is unique. Their perspectives are different, their thoughts and beliefs are different, their values are different, their mindset is different, their needs are different.

Understanding this made me more open-minded. I was able to accept different people from different backgrounds with different abilities.

I also learnt that it’s difficult to categorise people. They are always evolving and growing.

How you can apply this –

• Understand that people are different. Be okay with that. Don’t try to fit people into different categories.

• Don’t label people. (Especially – negative labels) Some might take it too seriously and live upto that label, some might prove you wrong in no time.

2. One thing doesn’t work for everyone –

Just do what works for you, because there will always be someone who thinks differently…

– Michelle Obama

From the first point, this seems obvious.

In psychology, while analysing disorders, you need to look at many different factors and even for the same disorders, different patients need different treatment.

I realised one thing doesn’t work for everyone and that I don’t need to expect what works for me, should work for others as well.

This kinda stopped me from giving advices and made me help my friends choose whatever works the best for them.

I started exploring different ways to reach a particular goal and found what worked the best for me.

How can you apply this –

• If someone cannot follow your advice, understand that this might not work for them. You might have the best intentions, but if someone cannot follow your advice, don’t dwell on that. Help them figure out what works for them.

• Don’t be so harsh on yourself. If you try really hard and it doesn’t happen, let go of that path. May be you need some other path to reach that particular goal.

3. If you have a good relationship with yourself, many things will fall into place – As they say, “You cannot pour from an empty cup, you gotta take care of yourself first”.

It starts with you.

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

– Mark Twain

It matters how you look at yourself and what you think about yourself. As they say – The relationship you have with yourself, sets to tone for every other relationship you’ll have.

If you are kind to yourself, it will be much easier for you to be kind to others.

If you love yourself, it will be much easier to love others.

If you heal yourself, you will be able to support others in their healing.

You have to start with yourself because the most important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself.

How can you apply this –

• Learn to focus more attention on your growth and your healing.

• Understand yourself. Know yourself, be gentle with yourself and pay attention to your needs.

4. There are many different ways to look at things – Just accept this.

We don’t get harmony when everybody sings the same note. Only notes that are different can harmonize. The same is true with people.

– Steve Goodier

What is true for you, may not be necessarily true for someone else. We judge things based on our experience. Not necessary everyone had the same experience.

What is too good for you, may not be as good to your friend and that’s okay.

How you can apply this –

• Be open to different perspectives. Some things maybe true for you, but you also need to understand others. Be open to different ideas, concepts and thoughts and you will learn much more.

• When someone disagrees with you, be curious instead of critical. Try to understand their perspective. And whatever it is, be okay with that.

5. You have a choice –

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

– Viktor E. Frankl

YES, you have a choice. You are free to choose your response. You can control your reaction.

I get it, you cannot control what happens to you. But you can control how to react, and that is empowering.

When you choose how to react, you give the power to yourself. You are responsible for your reaction.

Have you noticed that there are some people who have been through really bad times but through their determination and dedication they achieved a lot of success.

And there are some people who give up early on themselves and think their actions don’t matter. They believe they are at the mercy of their situations and just hope things to get better.

How can you apply this –

• Sometimes you gotta look deep within yourself and understand what you need to do to improve your situation.

• Having a choice doesn’t mean you need to blame yourself for everything. Think about it in a empowering way – You get to choose your response! How wonderful is that!

It is true you have a choice, but be gentle with yourself while choosing something. You don’t need to beat yourself up for your wrong choices. If you’ve been through really hard time, be compassionate and kind to yourself and others.

You can say to yourself – ” I forgive myself for acting in such a way. I realise how painful it is to face the consequences now. I am learning from my mistakes and would never repeat them in future. I have faith in myself that I have what it takes to achieve that goal. I won’t choose to quit. I will try better next time. ”

What is your take on this? Have you experienced these statements to be true as well? I’d like to hear your experiences please share them in the comments below.

Also let me know if you’d like to read a part 2 of this.

Thank you for your time! Hope you enjoyed the blogpost! 🙂