Note to self – 3 (healthy perspective)

There are so many ways to look at things. In fact there are many many different perspectives about one single thing.

Sometimes we don’t know the truth or we partially know the truth and we assume the rest.

For example –
You didn’t get selected in a interview.

There can be many reasons!

What do you tell yourself?

What are your thoughts?

“I’m not good enough.. I don’t have the necessary skills… I don’t think I’ll ever get the job”

Now these can be your immediate thoughts… I get it. 90% people might have this as their first response

But problem arises when you stick to those thoughts for… days, months or even years!

Can you imagine? You let that one single failure, one problem, one thought define your entire life.

You need to ask yourself –

Will thinking in this way help me?

Here’s “the story” you need to tell yourself –

Dear me,

I think you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. There are so many other ways to look at this.

I realise this is not the end of the world. I have many chances ahead of me. I won’t give up.

I’m just getting started. I might face some difficulties but I need to keep going and hope for the best.

I believe it’s me who has the power to choose my perspective. I choose the optimistic perspective. It may or may not turn out well, but its much better than having pessimist attitude and giving up.

By looking at the bright side I will at least get the motivation to keep going. Which I need the most right now.

And who knows…
Some problems are a blessing in disguise! 😉

You are blessed honey!

With love,
Me

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One simple thing you can do right now to improve your life

Believe it or not, the company you keep matters. A lot.

If you’re constantly surrounded by pessimistic people, guess what, after a while even you start imitating them. This happens, unless you try very very hard to stay optimistic because negative behaviours can be learnt quickly.

There’s this concept of mirroring in psychology.

Where you learn or imitate the behaviour of people around you knowingly or unknowingly.

How can you use this to your advantage?

Well, it’s simple!

Be in company of people who inspire you, who support your growth and who guide you in the right direction, who trust you and bring out the best in you.

Now as they say –

You’re the average of five people you spend most of your time with

I’ll tell you which of the five people you should surround yourself with –

1. Be with people around whom you feel loved and valued.

This can be your parents, or your friends or your partner. Anyone with whom you feel loved and valued.

2. Be with someone who makes you laugh and enjoy little things. Someone who makes you smile and appreciates you.

This can be your sibling or your best friend.

3. Be with someone who trusts you and whom you can trust. No matter what, you know you guys have got each other’s back.

(Now speaking of these qualities, you might know at least one person with whom these qualities resonate. Someone who makes you smile, some other person whom you can trust completely, someone else who makes you feel loved, etc.)

4. Be with someone who inspires you and motivates you and brings out the best in you.

Okay so this person can be hard to find.

But let me tell you, it’s not necessary that these people should be someone you know personally or have met them. They can also be your role models.

Someone you look up to. Someone who you want to be like. Someone you deeply admire.

Now even if you surround yourself with the ideas, the principles, the values these people have implemented in their life, it works. You slowly start thinking like them, you try to imitate their principles in your own life.

And believe me, that improves your life!

Imagine you’re constantly watching everything about Oprah Winfrey, Swami Vivekananda, or Gary Vee (let’s say they are your role models) So you are watching many videos of them on YouTube, you’re watching their shows. You are reading about them, reading their books.

What will happen after some time?

Your thinking patterns will change, your attitude changes, your perception about things change, you start acting differently, you start growing.

5. Be with someone who can guide you in the right direction in difficult times.

This can be your “therapist” friend, a mentor or a actual therapist. Someone who helps you gain clarity about situations and helps you take the right decision.

I don’t know how many people will agree with me, but I’ve found books to guide me as well. Self help books and even some fantasy novels have great messages. I could relate to those characters and understand their life.

These people help you understand certain things, especially when you need it the most.

Be careful about whom you choose as this person because when you are sad, depressed or angry, it’s very easy for a wrong person to drag you into a wrong behaviour.

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I have found this to work in my personal life.

The moment I started focusing on myself and setting healthy boundaries and surrounding myself with people who bring out the best in me, I’ve seen myself change in a very good way.

When I started reading more about inspiring people, gathering more information about them and started applying their tips for success, I felt great!

I felt like I’m learning from them and slowly applying that in my own life and seeing the results.

I also started choosing whom to spend most of my time with and I found I was much happier and satisfied with my life than before.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not telling you to be picky and only choose the people whom you can benefit from, no! It’s good to have connection with different people, it’s nice to have them as your friends.

But, prioritise your time for those who really help you grow, who really matter. Because you have limited time.

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Moral of the story – The company you keep matters. Choose the right people and see the drastic and quick improvement in your life.

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Who are your role models? Do you “spend” more time with them? Do you feel the change in your mindset and actions?

Let me know in the comments below!!

Thank you for reading guys!❤️

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Keep shining, keep smiling! 🙂

©Vrunda Chauk 2019

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Writing a diary…

I’ve started writing a diary since the start of this month.

I always wondered, why do people keep diaries? Why to write you day in it? It won’t be of any use in future…

Recently, I came across a very beautiful article written on WordPress by a girl who kept writing a dairy since she was 7/8 years old. The way she told her experience and the beautiful way in which she conveyed the importance and need of writing a diary touched my heart.

Therefore I decided to write a diary and see what happens.

Also when I started, I was having emotional imbalance. I read it somewhere that writing about your emotions helps.

So that’s what pushed me to try this new ritual.

I’ve been writing for a month now and I realised that everything that girl mentioned in her blog was so true! And there are many other benefits as well.

I’d like to share them with you.

Here are few ways in which keeping a dairy helped me –

1. Improved my writing.

I feel it much easier to express my emotions through words now.

As I write about my daily life and what happened and how I felt, it also kinda improves my storytelling. Every day when you write a diary, you eventually try different and interesting ways to tell the incident.

It’s fun!

2. Reduced my overthinking.

When you are writing about something, you tend to analyse it. You cannot write the same stuff again and again. At some point (usually after 3-5 mins) you run out of negative thoughts to write.

That’s helpful. It helps you gain clarity on your thoughts. When your thoughts are on paper, it’s easy to analyse them and rule out the ones that really don’t make any sense.

But when these same thoughts continue to stay in your head, you get into downward spiral of overthinking.

3. I can enjoy good memories, any time! 🙂

Yes! When you’re writing about your good emotions, note the details of the situation and express yourself.

When you go through it the next week you will feel as if you’re living the experience once again.

You will feel grateful for those beautiful moments you had in your life.

4. I realised every day is new.

Now this might sound pretty obvious. But when you write diary you truly feel it. Every single day is unique, no matter how same your tedious chores are. There are many different things that happen every day.

I used to think how boring my life is, doing the same repetitive tasks again and again. But now I understand, there are many small, new elements you can include in your daily life to make it more interesting.

This might also remind you that every day is a fresh start and you have the ability to make it more beautiful.

5. Reduces stress –

When you are stressed or overwhelmed and there are so many thoughts in your mind that you find hard to control, writing them down can be helpful.

Once they are on paper, they do not bother you that much.

6. Makes it easy to reflect on yourself –

It gives you time and opportunity to think about yourself. About your feelings, about your growth, about your problems and about your happiness.

Life is short. It goes by quick. Between out hectic schedules it’s easy to miss out the little moments of happiness and growth. You need to hold on to those little moments and reflect on them. Pay attention to them. Live them.

7. It makes it super easy to track your progress –

You want to develop a habit. Or you want to read 500 pages of the novel this month.

All of these tasks need you to keep a track record of your progress.

How cool would it be to write that – You are following up on your habit or you are on your way to achieve your goal every day in your diary!

You’d feel proud and happy. Even when you are not able to keep up to your word, when you write about it, you feel the need to continue the behaviour in future.

So that’s how this “new” behaviour has now become my helpful habit.

You can try this out too guys!

What is your experience with writing a diary? Or starting a new habit?

Please share in the comments below!

I’d like to read! 🙂

Hope you all are having a fantastic week my friends!!