3 facts about happiness

If you really think about it…this seems logical right?

Like it cannot be that you are very unhappy and then suddenly you become successful and you boom! Now you’ll be happy for the rest of your life.

Of course you will get a large happiness boost. But after some time you will get used to your changed lifestyle and things won’t excite you that much.

You will be back to your normal self.

But those who are happy most of the time are more likely to be successful!

Coz of course you want to pursue things when you are happy, you have a optimistic outlook that everything will work out, you don’t give up in face of adversity.

These qualities really seem to help you become successful.

When you are happy, those positive emotions don’t just stick with you, you spread positive vibes wherever you go.

I have noticed this for myself that when I am feeling good and cheerful I want to help others, compliment others, just share happiness with everyone I come across.

On the contrary when I’m feeling low, I just want everyone to leave me alone for a while. I have less energy and enthusiasm. If I’m sad because of some problem all my attention is focused on solving that problem and I don’t pay much attention to others around me.

Who else feels the same?

Stop and smell the roses 🌹

Yep! They are right. Happiness is in little things.

When we think about what makes us happy, mostly we come up with answers like – talking to my bf after a long day, having chai with bestie, long drives with family, making fun DIYs with sister, baarish aur chai…..πŸ’“πŸ’•

Soooo… The point is that these things are something we will remember and cherish forever.

We may not remember the time we brought fancy car, but we remember the time when we went on long drive with friends.

Don’t get me wrong, material things are also important and financial security is the first priority.

But when it comes to happiness, memories with people count more than material happiness.

β€œHappiness consists more in conveniences of pleasure that occur everyday than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom.”

– Benjamin Franklin

i am happy with my work

I work as a cleaner in Sumitra hospital. And I want to say, I am happy with my work. Yes I sweep the floor and clean patients rooms but for me it’s more than that. I take care of patients, talk to them for a while and comfort them in their illness.

Of course, I didn’t always wanted to be a hospital cleaner. My family comes from Rampur village. We don’t have much facilities there and one government school in entire village. I studied there and after my 10th wanted to become a CA.

That didn’t quite work out though. My father was a farmer. We had a few acres of land and did wheat plantation. That year unfortunately we had drought and we couldn’t make enough money. Being the elder son in family, I had to work at a industry.

I didn’t get a chance to pursue my education. I was married off when I was 22 and had to look for our family.

After 2 years the industry went bankrupt and we lost our jobs. That was when I started working for Sumitra hospital as a cleaner. The money was enough for us to meet all our needs.

One day I was cleaning for a cancer patient and he started talking to me. About his hobbies, family, life in general. His children were so busy working at their offices that they didn’t have time to visit their father frequently. His wife used to come every day. In a week I almost became a part of their family. They treated me so well, his wife always used to ask me about my wife and my daughter. And she also used to give some homemade sweets for my family. T

When I couldn’t come to work because I was ill, they kept on asking nurses about me. It felt so good! Even if in a small way, I have tried to make their life better, a little easier. And that matters way more than money.

There are many experiences as these. I don’t think I’m just a cleaner in Sumitra hospital. Its my family. I try to comfort all the patients and take care of them. Even if tomorrow I’ve a opportunity to leave this hospital and get a better job, I am not sure if I would! The connections I make every day with patients and their families makes me think I’m doing something meaningful. It makes me happy!


Most of the times how we perceive our work is important than the work itself.

P.S – guys its a purely fictional story to illustrate my point. It’s not about me or anyone I know.

Magic of gratitude

Okay so now I’m going to brainwash you into practicing gratitude.

Don’t worry it’s going to benefit you in manyyyyy ways.

So what is gratitude?

Must have heard “attitude of gratitude” saying.. but let’s not get into such meme related stuff here. Let’s get real for a while

Gratitude is a felt sense of wonder, thankfulness and appreciation for life

– Robert Emmons

Aha! This quote really touched my heart

So it’s a feeling of thankfulness about – the ice cream you ate today.. the treat your friend gave you last week… Well yeah.. something like that.

So now… You must be thinking hell yeah! I know that but I ain’t gonna say thank you for everything.

Seriously?

Lemme tell you the benefits –

Research has found that grateful people are more happier 😊 and energetic 😍 and hopeful πŸ˜€ than those who aren’t so grateful.

Plus…

They are more helpful and empathic

More forgiving

Anddd

Less materialistic!

Sounds great?

And also for all the fitness freaks out there –

Practicing gratitude is also linked to physical health.

Well… That doesn’t mean you’re going to get six packs in six weeks of practicing gratitude. πŸ™„

It just means your immunity will improve. You’ll think good thoughts and maybe feel more energetic in gym.

In her book ‘How of happiness’ Sonja Lyubomirsky explains 8 ways in which gratitude helps you.

8 super awesome ways gratitude helps you!

1. Grateful thinking promotes the savouring of positive life experiences

Here’s how I remember it –

Eat your icecream before it melts..

Enjoy the moment before it’s over. Be grateful and enjoy the present time before it’s gone.

Enjoy your college years before going for a job and reflecting back on college days and thinking “those were the days…..”

2. Expressing gratitude bolsters self worth and self esteem

Now imagine a very common situation –

You are late for a party.

You’ll probably say – “Sorry for being late guys… There was traffic” (or whatever lame excuse you come up with)

And they’ll probably ignore you… And you might end up feeling bad about yourself

Now what if you say –

“Thank you so much guys for waiting for me! I am so glad that you all are my friends”

Guess what would happen?

They won’t feel that bad about it… Anddd… Even you’ll feel better… Soooo much better! (I am so glad you are my friends…..πŸ€—)

Boom! Shift in focus..

You feel better about yourself and others after expressing gratitude

3. Gratitude helps people cope with stress and trauma

Yeah… It does!

It’s challenging to express gratitude when you’re stressed or depressed. But like every other medicine you have to take this sour medicine to get better (I mean feel better)

In this period.. you may not have big things to be grateful for.. but it’s the little things that count. You could be grateful you had healthy food today or your friend came to talk to you or something like that.

But feel the gratitude. Say it out loud.

4. Expression of gratitude encourages moral behaviour.

You’re more likely to help others when you feel grateful.

Here’s the thing – when you are aware about your own blessings you want to be that blessing for someone else.

When everything is going good in your life, you are more likely to help others. It’s like when your cup is full, it overflows.

So if you want to help others, start by feeling more grateful about your own situation. It helps, trust me!

And when you help others it gives a more positive boost about yourself.

5. Gratitude can help build social bonds, strengthening existing relationships and nourishing new ones.

When you constantly realise how blessed you are to have this person in your life…

You treat them better! Even they treat you better!

Oh I’m so blessed to have you in my life honey… I really appreciate you doing the dishes yesterday and even though you were tired… You talked with me for a while and asked me about my day before going to bed… It’s these little things that make me so happy!

I feel the same darling. I remember the time when my mom was in hospital and you spent a week there taking care of her. She was so happy to have you there.. I will always remember the good things you’ve done for me and my family, this is nothing compared to that..

After reading this how many of you went “awwww”

Yeah! That’s how it gets.

Genuine appreciation has a wonderful impact. It kinda creates a “positive feedback loop” where both parties express their gratitude and feel awesome! For the rest of the week…

If you constantly remind yourself of the good things other person has done to you it might get hard to even get angry at them or when you do, it’s resolved quickly coz you know there’s more to this person than just this one incident.

So gratitude also helps in relationships! ❀️

6. Expressing gratitude tends to inhibit invidious comparison with others.

I am going for a vacation in Bahamas! Yay! I’m so excited for it… Where are you going?

For this vacation I’m going to visit my family after a year! Due to work and being in different country I cannot visit them that often. I’m so blessed to spend this vacation with them! I can’t wait to see my little sister and play some pranks with her… Haha..

Did person 2 feel jealous?

No!

Because she appreciates what she has. Did she compare? Nah! I don’t think so…

That’s what feeling of gratitude does.. it helps you appreciate what you have and makes you less materialistic.

7. Practice of gratitude is incompatible with negative emotions and may actually dimnish or deter such feelings as anger, bitterness and greed.

Can you feel angry and happy at the same time?

You can’t! No one can…

Some bittersweet feelings are there… But not really

If you thank someone for helping you, (genuinely) they are more likely to do that in future. Not just to you, but to others as well. It’s like creating a positive ripple. Everyone is benefited.

Do you feel guilty sometimes receiving help?

You won’t when you thank them from the bottom of your heart. You’ll realise you’re surrounded by kind people and they’ll feel happy as they are the kind ones.

Win-win situation for both parties!

8. Gratitude helps us thwart hedonic adaptation.

Do you remember the excitement you feel when you get something you always wanted…. And after few days… You don’t feel that happy about the thing.

For example – You always wanted to try the donuts of that new donut shop. Suddenly they open a branch next to your house. You feel sooo happy, you eat their donuts straight for 2 weeks.

Would you feel like going to that shop again? Will the excitement be the same?

Noooooo

(don’t lie.. it won’t)

Sooo… Here’s what you can do

When you go there next time, order a donut and feel grateful for the opportunity to eat it. Like… Wow… This is so yummm…. *Takes a bite… Wowww… I’ve never tasted anything like this….. It’s soo good!!!!

Just don’t say this loudly or you may never be allowed to enter the shop again!πŸ˜‚

But you get the point right?!

Hedonic adaptation is the way you adapt to new changes quickly and it doesn’t feel so interesting afterwards

So gratitude comes to your rescue even here!

See… I told you I’m gonna brainwash you into practicing gratitude.

So tell me… Was I successful in my mission? 😁

And lastly….

.

I am scared of you making me happy. I am afraid that in such short time that you are making me so happy, I’ll get used to it. That eventually I’ll stop making myself happy. I don’t want to wake up one day and realise I was so used to your pampering, your care, your love, that you somehow became so important to me that now when you are not here, I can’t do anything on my own. I can’t be happy. I know you won’t stay. At least not forever. When you are gone how will I get over from receiving so much of love and attention to absolutely nothing?

Maybe what they say is true. Maybe I don’t need to give so quickly. Maybe I need to stop loving passionately. But I don’t know how to love without passion. So maybe I shouldn’t love you. Maybe I need to be careful with you, but sometimes I can’t.

Yes, I need breaks from you. To remind myself that I have a different life. To remind myself that you won’t stay forever. To nourish the relationship I have with myself. To realise I am happy even without you.

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