Why is positive psychology important for you?

For many years psychologists were interested in abnormal behaviour and mental disorders. That’s why today for many people psychology seems to be equivalent to Abnormal Psychology.
But the field of psychology is much vast than this.

Psychologists now are interested in what consists in a “good life”? What makes our life meaningful? How can we achieve wellbeing? What makes us happy?

This gave birth to positive psychology in 1998.
Now the word “positive” doesn’t mean that this is the only branch of psychology that is important and others are insignificant or “negative”

Actually, positive psychology and abnormal psychology both work hand in hand to make human life better.


How’d your life be without any doctors in town? Just your friends and family to make you happy.. will you really be happy? What if you get some illness? You need doctors for that.

In the same way Abnormal Psychology helps us by treating mental illness. And positive psychology helps us to enhance our happiness.
Both are necessary for overall well-being of mankind.
One helps us by reducing mental illness and other helps us by strengthening mental health.

Do you sometimes feel like you’re not really happy with your life? There’s nothing really bad happening to you.. but still, you don’t feel like you’re not living your life to the fullest.

The absence of negative doesn’t mean the presence of positive. That’s where positive psychology comes in. It helps you live a balanced and happy life. It deals with questions like – what makes you happy? What leads to wellbeing? What are the characteristics of happy couples? How can you be successful and happy? How can you enhance positive emotions in your life?
It deals with concepts like – gratitude, compassion, kindness, altruism, happiness, wellbeing, mindfulness, resilience, hope, savouring, grit, etc.


We understand that talking rudely with someone constantly will damage our relationship with the other person. Does this mean that simply not talking rudely with someone will strengthen our relationship with other person?

Good behaviours are not simply the opposite of bad behaviours.
To strengthen your relationship with someone you might need to appreciate that person, spend quality time together, be kind to one another and make eachother laugh.

Sometimes people wonder what does their relationship lack when there are not really any conflicts happening. Most of the times it’s the absence of positive behaviours which strengthen the relationship.

That’s how positive psychology helps you. And this is why you need to understand what behaviours you need to practice for a happy and meaningful life.

Magic of gratitude

Okay so now I’m going to brainwash you into practicing gratitude.

Don’t worry it’s going to benefit you in manyyyyy ways.

So what is gratitude?

Must have heard “attitude of gratitude” saying.. but let’s not get into such meme related stuff here. Let’s get real for a while

Gratitude is a felt sense of wonder, thankfulness and appreciation for life

– Robert Emmons

Aha! This quote really touched my heart

So it’s a feeling of thankfulness about – the ice cream you ate today.. the treat your friend gave you last week… Well yeah.. something like that.

So now… You must be thinking hell yeah! I know that but I ain’t gonna say thank you for everything.

Seriously?

Lemme tell you the benefits –

Research has found that grateful people are more happier 😊 and energetic 😍 and hopeful πŸ˜€ than those who aren’t so grateful.

Plus…

They are more helpful and empathic

More forgiving

Anddd

Less materialistic!

Sounds great?

And also for all the fitness freaks out there –

Practicing gratitude is also linked to physical health.

Well… That doesn’t mean you’re going to get six packs in six weeks of practicing gratitude. πŸ™„

It just means your immunity will improve. You’ll think good thoughts and maybe feel more energetic in gym.

In her book ‘How of happiness’ Sonja Lyubomirsky explains 8 ways in which gratitude helps you.

8 super awesome ways gratitude helps you!

1. Grateful thinking promotes the savouring of positive life experiences

Here’s how I remember it –

Eat your icecream before it melts..

Enjoy the moment before it’s over. Be grateful and enjoy the present time before it’s gone.

Enjoy your college years before going for a job and reflecting back on college days and thinking “those were the days…..”

2. Expressing gratitude bolsters self worth and self esteem

Now imagine a very common situation –

You are late for a party.

You’ll probably say – “Sorry for being late guys… There was traffic” (or whatever lame excuse you come up with)

And they’ll probably ignore you… And you might end up feeling bad about yourself

Now what if you say –

“Thank you so much guys for waiting for me! I am so glad that you all are my friends”

Guess what would happen?

They won’t feel that bad about it… Anddd… Even you’ll feel better… Soooo much better! (I am so glad you are my friends…..πŸ€—)

Boom! Shift in focus..

You feel better about yourself and others after expressing gratitude

3. Gratitude helps people cope with stress and trauma

Yeah… It does!

It’s challenging to express gratitude when you’re stressed or depressed. But like every other medicine you have to take this sour medicine to get better (I mean feel better)

In this period.. you may not have big things to be grateful for.. but it’s the little things that count. You could be grateful you had healthy food today or your friend came to talk to you or something like that.

But feel the gratitude. Say it out loud.

4. Expression of gratitude encourages moral behaviour.

You’re more likely to help others when you feel grateful.

Here’s the thing – when you are aware about your own blessings you want to be that blessing for someone else.

When everything is going good in your life, you are more likely to help others. It’s like when your cup is full, it overflows.

So if you want to help others, start by feeling more grateful about your own situation. It helps, trust me!

And when you help others it gives a more positive boost about yourself.

5. Gratitude can help build social bonds, strengthening existing relationships and nourishing new ones.

When you constantly realise how blessed you are to have this person in your life…

You treat them better! Even they treat you better!

Oh I’m so blessed to have you in my life honey… I really appreciate you doing the dishes yesterday and even though you were tired… You talked with me for a while and asked me about my day before going to bed… It’s these little things that make me so happy!

I feel the same darling. I remember the time when my mom was in hospital and you spent a week there taking care of her. She was so happy to have you there.. I will always remember the good things you’ve done for me and my family, this is nothing compared to that..

After reading this how many of you went “awwww”

Yeah! That’s how it gets.

Genuine appreciation has a wonderful impact. It kinda creates a “positive feedback loop” where both parties express their gratitude and feel awesome! For the rest of the week…

If you constantly remind yourself of the good things other person has done to you it might get hard to even get angry at them or when you do, it’s resolved quickly coz you know there’s more to this person than just this one incident.

So gratitude also helps in relationships! ❀️

6. Expressing gratitude tends to inhibit invidious comparison with others.

I am going for a vacation in Bahamas! Yay! I’m so excited for it… Where are you going?

For this vacation I’m going to visit my family after a year! Due to work and being in different country I cannot visit them that often. I’m so blessed to spend this vacation with them! I can’t wait to see my little sister and play some pranks with her… Haha..

Did person 2 feel jealous?

No!

Because she appreciates what she has. Did she compare? Nah! I don’t think so…

That’s what feeling of gratitude does.. it helps you appreciate what you have and makes you less materialistic.

7. Practice of gratitude is incompatible with negative emotions and may actually dimnish or deter such feelings as anger, bitterness and greed.

Can you feel angry and happy at the same time?

You can’t! No one can…

Some bittersweet feelings are there… But not really

If you thank someone for helping you, (genuinely) they are more likely to do that in future. Not just to you, but to others as well. It’s like creating a positive ripple. Everyone is benefited.

Do you feel guilty sometimes receiving help?

You won’t when you thank them from the bottom of your heart. You’ll realise you’re surrounded by kind people and they’ll feel happy as they are the kind ones.

Win-win situation for both parties!

8. Gratitude helps us thwart hedonic adaptation.

Do you remember the excitement you feel when you get something you always wanted…. And after few days… You don’t feel that happy about the thing.

For example – You always wanted to try the donuts of that new donut shop. Suddenly they open a branch next to your house. You feel sooo happy, you eat their donuts straight for 2 weeks.

Would you feel like going to that shop again? Will the excitement be the same?

Noooooo

(don’t lie.. it won’t)

Sooo… Here’s what you can do

When you go there next time, order a donut and feel grateful for the opportunity to eat it. Like… Wow… This is so yummm…. *Takes a bite… Wowww… I’ve never tasted anything like this….. It’s soo good!!!!

Just don’t say this loudly or you may never be allowed to enter the shop again!πŸ˜‚

But you get the point right?!

Hedonic adaptation is the way you adapt to new changes quickly and it doesn’t feel so interesting afterwards

So gratitude comes to your rescue even here!

See… I told you I’m gonna brainwash you into practicing gratitude.

So tell me… Was I successful in my mission? 😁

And lastly….

What’s good?

Pause. Stop criticising for a while. Stop ruminating about how bad you are doing. Stop overthinking about the situation.

Just ask yourself

What’s good?

We hardly take time to see what are the good things that are happening with us.

No really, ask yourself What’s good that happened today?

What’s good that happened last week?

What’s good that is happening right now?

Maybe it’s the great family dinner you had last week, maybe it’s your favorite dish your mom cooked for you yesterday, maybe it’s sharing quality time with your best friend today.

Talk about these things!

Notice them.

Appreciate that.

Share your happy memories πŸ’•

The best way to multiply your happiness, is to share it with others.

Next time when you meet someone don’t ask them how they are doing and how was their day… Ask them – What’s good?

Note to self – 7 (when things don’t go the way you expect)

Okay. So this happens always many times.

You want to get selected in the dance competition that’s coming up, but you don’t.

You try to make a move towards your crush and you come to know he/she is already in a relationship.

You work hard to get the promotion, yet you are denied.

So what can you tell yourself in these moments of “This cannot be happening…”?

Dear Self,

Why do you expect life to be easy? Why do you expect you will somehow know everything before it happens..?

Life is unpredictable. Every single moment is unpredictable. And unfortunately we cannot do anything about it.

What you can do, is accept difficulties as a part of life.

And be honest with yourself.. –

Every problem doesn’t leave you broken and miserable.

You learn a lot when you face problems. And when you learn, you grow..

Life isn’t supposed to be easy. It is supposed to bring growth. It is supposed to be exicting. It is supposed to bring out the best in you. And at most times, ease doesn’t result into growth.

So try to accept every single thing that happens as if it is the best that can happen. And try to make it as better as you can.

When you come across something different than you expected, ask yourself

“Okay, this is happening. What is the best thing that I can do now?”

You are capable of doing this. You can make the best out of this situation that you are in.

Can you?

Just try! (β— β€Ώβ—•)

Love,

Me

Can money buy happiness?

Okay, so being a positive psychology student (someone who studies happiness and well being) this is the question I am really curious about.

When I was small, I used to think that “Hell yes! Money does buy happiness. I can buy teddy, candy and go to adventure parks with money and it makes me sooo happy!”

As I grew up, I learnt to examine the issue from different dimensions.

Turns out that the happiness I found in candies and teddies didn’t last that long. After some time I got used to it and it didn’t excite me as it did before.

And it was not like those things always made me happy.

When I was sad and feeling lonely, no matter how much money was spent on buying me teddies and candies, I didn’t feel happy.

All I needed was a warm embrace from my mom and endless talks with her.

So, did money bring happiness?

Yes, when it was spent on adventure parks and family dinners.

Even now I long for those happy times I had with my family. These memories, they are still fresh and those pictures still make me smile.

Money does bring happiness when spent on having experiences with loved ones.

But there is another perspective to it.

For the people who are poor, money does bring a lot of happiness.

But once your needs are fulfilled, money starts loosing it’s value.

When you are hungry and have your favorite cookie, your satisfaction level is 100.

When you have another cookie that satisfaction level drops to 98

When you have yet another cookie the satisfaction level drops to 92

And so on…

There is this concept of ‘hedonic treadmill’ in psychology.

The hedonic treadmill theory states that our circumstances, including extremes like winning the lottery or becoming a paraplegic, alter our happiness level temporarily, and we quickly adjust back to a fixed emotional set point.

It basically means we get used to the new things that we have in our life – the good ones as well as the bad ones.

Therefore, the “happiness” money buyes is not long lasting.

There is actually a threshold of the happiness money can buy. Up to a certain point, it can, but once it exceeds the threshold, it cannot “buy” happiness.

Experts say that happiness does increase with wealth. But the correlation peaks at earning 75000$ per year.

Money is important. No doubt. But it’s not a necessity to be happy.

Here are two simple ways you can use to slow down the hedonic treadmill –

1. Be mindful of what you have. Bring your attention to the present. Feel those moments when you enjoy what you have and don’t take that for granted.

2. Try for a while to imagine your life without the stuff you have now, the people in your life now.

How do you feel?

Lonely, sad…?

Feel grateful for their presence. For the joy they bring to you.

Think about the good stuff your friends and family members have done for you and still do.

And… don’t forget to thank themβ™₯️

I think… More than money, gratitude brings joy. What do you think?

Lemme know in the comments!

Hope you all are having a great day!😊

Optimist

Yes I am an optimist
And no things don’t always work out for me

No I won’t tell you tomorrow will be better when your heart is broken today

No I won’t tell you, you will get 100 followers tomorrow when you’ve started your account just yesterday

No I won’t tell you life is always sunshine and rainbows

I go through hard times too
I do make mistakes
Even I experience disappointment and rejection

But there is one thing I know for sure –
No matter how difficult things look now, there is always hope.

You won’t feel better tomorrow, but eventually, you will
You may not get 100 followers the next day, but eventually, you will
You may feel low now, but eventually you will experience joy

Sometimes more than anything,
I feel good to imagine the world as rainbows and sunshine
Because if I don’t,
I might not feel like going on in life

That’s why I choose to focus on positives
No matter how small they seem!

And here’s a secret –
The more I look for positivity, the more goodness I find!

Β© Vrunda Chauk

Happiness in little things

Worst day ever

Today was absolute worst day ever

And don’t try to convince me that

There’s something good in every day

Because when you take a closer look

This world is a pretty evil place.

Even if

Some goodness does shine through once in a while

Satisfaction and happiness don’t last.

And it’s not true that

It’s all in the mind and heart

Because

True happiness can be obtained

Only if one’s surroundings are good

It’s not true that good exists

I’m sure you can agree that

The reality

Creates

My attitude

It’s all beyond my control

And you’ll never in a million years hear me say that

Today was a good day

*Now read from bottom to the top

-Chanie Gorkin

It’s always amazing to see the wonderful magic words can create.

The complete meaning of the poem changes when you read from bottom to top.

That’s just all about life.

It’s not about where you look, it’s about what you choose to see.

Even if in your whole day you did nothing good but came home and met your mom and ate the food she prepared, guess what?

You’re blessed!

If you really go on looking for good things in life, you will find millions of things! We really don’t pay that much attention to good things.


BernΓ© Brown is a psychologist. She did 12 years of research in psychology. She interviewed people who have been through horrific things, loss of children, violence, trauma. And she asked them what was the hardest loss?

And they never talked about the extraordinary things, they said I miss the ordinary moments. Like “I miss hearing the door slam and know my husband’s home from work, I miss my kids fighting in the backyard, I miss the way my wife set the table”

These are the moments which are right in front of our eyes everyday.

Why not stop and say – “Thank God, I’m grateful for this”

It’s the heartfelt gratitude that brings joy and it’s that joy that brings happiness.


You cannot win competitions everyday to be happy, you cannot throw parties everyday to be happy, you cannot wait for this amazing new thing to happen in order to be happy.

You have happiness and joy right in front of you, just open your eyes and see!


Simple recipe for happiness –

Step 1 – List down the things that being you joy. It can be little things. Like – playing guitar, dancing to Taylor Swift’s songs, baking a cake, drawing something, listening music, cuddling in a warm blanket and reading your favourite book….

Do as many things today as you can from that list.

Step 2 – Do something good for others. Like – bring flowers for your mom, help your dad with work, give chocolates to your younger brother or sister, make plans to spend time with your friends…

These small things bring immense joy and happiness


Happiness is little things

Happiness is little things,

A book, a cup of tea,

A card or letter in the mail,

Especially for me.

To see a rosebush in full bloom,
Be warmed by glowing sun;
To snuggle in a cozy bed
When the day is done.

A good night’s rest, a brand new day,
The warmth of friendly hand;
A note, a smile, a touch, a hug,
Someone to understand.

Days of hope and hours of love,
Savoring each minute;
Happiness is in your heart
If thankfulness is in it.

– Viola Jacobson Berg


I saw a video yesterday in which, Taylor Swift was saying this in her concert –

You need to look into the mirror in the morning and not tell yourself that you’re not good enough.

Here are the things you are actually not –
β€’ You are not the opinion of somebody who doesn’t know you
β€’ You are not damaged goods just because you’ve made mistakes in your life.
β€’ You are not going nowhere just because you haven’t gotten where you want to go, yet.

Now I want to tell you things you really are –
β€’ You are your own definition of beautiful and worthwhile.
β€’ You are someone who’s wiser because you’ve made mistakes. Not damaged, wiser
β€’ You are somebody who is going through stressful times and still has the ability to go on with things.

It’s not about perfection.
Sometimes it’s just about going on with things. Sometimes you get just get credit for getting up and going on with things.

– Taylor Swift


Wishing you all a cheerful International Happiness Day!!

Hope you guys have a beautiful and blessed day ahead! πŸ’–πŸŒˆπŸ’–

And don’t forget to smile! 😊


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