3 facts about happiness

If you really think about it…this seems logical right?

Like it cannot be that you are very unhappy and then suddenly you become successful and you boom! Now you’ll be happy for the rest of your life.

Of course you will get a large happiness boost. But after some time you will get used to your changed lifestyle and things won’t excite you that much.

You will be back to your normal self.

But those who are happy most of the time are more likely to be successful!

Coz of course you want to pursue things when you are happy, you have a optimistic outlook that everything will work out, you don’t give up in face of adversity.

These qualities really seem to help you become successful.

When you are happy, those positive emotions don’t just stick with you, you spread positive vibes wherever you go.

I have noticed this for myself that when I am feeling good and cheerful I want to help others, compliment others, just share happiness with everyone I come across.

On the contrary when I’m feeling low, I just want everyone to leave me alone for a while. I have less energy and enthusiasm. If I’m sad because of some problem all my attention is focused on solving that problem and I don’t pay much attention to others around me.

Who else feels the same?

Stop and smell the roses 🌹

Yep! They are right. Happiness is in little things.

When we think about what makes us happy, mostly we come up with answers like – talking to my bf after a long day, having chai with bestie, long drives with family, making fun DIYs with sister, baarish aur chai…..πŸ’“πŸ’•

Soooo… The point is that these things are something we will remember and cherish forever.

We may not remember the time we brought fancy car, but we remember the time when we went on long drive with friends.

Don’t get me wrong, material things are also important and financial security is the first priority.

But when it comes to happiness, memories with people count more than material happiness.

β€œHappiness consists more in conveniences of pleasure that occur everyday than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom.”

– Benjamin Franklin

Magic of gratitude

Okay so now I’m going to brainwash you into practicing gratitude.

Don’t worry it’s going to benefit you in manyyyyy ways.

So what is gratitude?

Must have heard “attitude of gratitude” saying.. but let’s not get into such meme related stuff here. Let’s get real for a while

Gratitude is a felt sense of wonder, thankfulness and appreciation for life

– Robert Emmons

Aha! This quote really touched my heart

So it’s a feeling of thankfulness about – the ice cream you ate today.. the treat your friend gave you last week… Well yeah.. something like that.

So now… You must be thinking hell yeah! I know that but I ain’t gonna say thank you for everything.

Seriously?

Lemme tell you the benefits –

Research has found that grateful people are more happier 😊 and energetic 😍 and hopeful πŸ˜€ than those who aren’t so grateful.

Plus…

They are more helpful and empathic

More forgiving

Anddd

Less materialistic!

Sounds great?

And also for all the fitness freaks out there –

Practicing gratitude is also linked to physical health.

Well… That doesn’t mean you’re going to get six packs in six weeks of practicing gratitude. πŸ™„

It just means your immunity will improve. You’ll think good thoughts and maybe feel more energetic in gym.

In her book ‘How of happiness’ Sonja Lyubomirsky explains 8 ways in which gratitude helps you.

8 super awesome ways gratitude helps you!

1. Grateful thinking promotes the savouring of positive life experiences

Here’s how I remember it –

Eat your icecream before it melts..

Enjoy the moment before it’s over. Be grateful and enjoy the present time before it’s gone.

Enjoy your college years before going for a job and reflecting back on college days and thinking “those were the days…..”

2. Expressing gratitude bolsters self worth and self esteem

Now imagine a very common situation –

You are late for a party.

You’ll probably say – “Sorry for being late guys… There was traffic” (or whatever lame excuse you come up with)

And they’ll probably ignore you… And you might end up feeling bad about yourself

Now what if you say –

“Thank you so much guys for waiting for me! I am so glad that you all are my friends”

Guess what would happen?

They won’t feel that bad about it… Anddd… Even you’ll feel better… Soooo much better! (I am so glad you are my friends…..πŸ€—)

Boom! Shift in focus..

You feel better about yourself and others after expressing gratitude

3. Gratitude helps people cope with stress and trauma

Yeah… It does!

It’s challenging to express gratitude when you’re stressed or depressed. But like every other medicine you have to take this sour medicine to get better (I mean feel better)

In this period.. you may not have big things to be grateful for.. but it’s the little things that count. You could be grateful you had healthy food today or your friend came to talk to you or something like that.

But feel the gratitude. Say it out loud.

4. Expression of gratitude encourages moral behaviour.

You’re more likely to help others when you feel grateful.

Here’s the thing – when you are aware about your own blessings you want to be that blessing for someone else.

When everything is going good in your life, you are more likely to help others. It’s like when your cup is full, it overflows.

So if you want to help others, start by feeling more grateful about your own situation. It helps, trust me!

And when you help others it gives a more positive boost about yourself.

5. Gratitude can help build social bonds, strengthening existing relationships and nourishing new ones.

When you constantly realise how blessed you are to have this person in your life…

You treat them better! Even they treat you better!

Oh I’m so blessed to have you in my life honey… I really appreciate you doing the dishes yesterday and even though you were tired… You talked with me for a while and asked me about my day before going to bed… It’s these little things that make me so happy!

I feel the same darling. I remember the time when my mom was in hospital and you spent a week there taking care of her. She was so happy to have you there.. I will always remember the good things you’ve done for me and my family, this is nothing compared to that..

After reading this how many of you went “awwww”

Yeah! That’s how it gets.

Genuine appreciation has a wonderful impact. It kinda creates a “positive feedback loop” where both parties express their gratitude and feel awesome! For the rest of the week…

If you constantly remind yourself of the good things other person has done to you it might get hard to even get angry at them or when you do, it’s resolved quickly coz you know there’s more to this person than just this one incident.

So gratitude also helps in relationships! ❀️

6. Expressing gratitude tends to inhibit invidious comparison with others.

I am going for a vacation in Bahamas! Yay! I’m so excited for it… Where are you going?

For this vacation I’m going to visit my family after a year! Due to work and being in different country I cannot visit them that often. I’m so blessed to spend this vacation with them! I can’t wait to see my little sister and play some pranks with her… Haha..

Did person 2 feel jealous?

No!

Because she appreciates what she has. Did she compare? Nah! I don’t think so…

That’s what feeling of gratitude does.. it helps you appreciate what you have and makes you less materialistic.

7. Practice of gratitude is incompatible with negative emotions and may actually dimnish or deter such feelings as anger, bitterness and greed.

Can you feel angry and happy at the same time?

You can’t! No one can…

Some bittersweet feelings are there… But not really

If you thank someone for helping you, (genuinely) they are more likely to do that in future. Not just to you, but to others as well. It’s like creating a positive ripple. Everyone is benefited.

Do you feel guilty sometimes receiving help?

You won’t when you thank them from the bottom of your heart. You’ll realise you’re surrounded by kind people and they’ll feel happy as they are the kind ones.

Win-win situation for both parties!

8. Gratitude helps us thwart hedonic adaptation.

Do you remember the excitement you feel when you get something you always wanted…. And after few days… You don’t feel that happy about the thing.

For example – You always wanted to try the donuts of that new donut shop. Suddenly they open a branch next to your house. You feel sooo happy, you eat their donuts straight for 2 weeks.

Would you feel like going to that shop again? Will the excitement be the same?

Noooooo

(don’t lie.. it won’t)

Sooo… Here’s what you can do

When you go there next time, order a donut and feel grateful for the opportunity to eat it. Like… Wow… This is so yummm…. *Takes a bite… Wowww… I’ve never tasted anything like this….. It’s soo good!!!!

Just don’t say this loudly or you may never be allowed to enter the shop again!πŸ˜‚

But you get the point right?!

Hedonic adaptation is the way you adapt to new changes quickly and it doesn’t feel so interesting afterwards

So gratitude comes to your rescue even here!

See… I told you I’m gonna brainwash you into practicing gratitude.

So tell me… Was I successful in my mission? 😁

And lastly….

What’s good?

Pause. Stop criticising for a while. Stop ruminating about how bad you are doing. Stop overthinking about the situation.

Just ask yourself

What’s good?

We hardly take time to see what are the good things that are happening with us.

No really, ask yourself What’s good that happened today?

What’s good that happened last week?

What’s good that is happening right now?

Maybe it’s the great family dinner you had last week, maybe it’s your favorite dish your mom cooked for you yesterday, maybe it’s sharing quality time with your best friend today.

Talk about these things!

Notice them.

Appreciate that.

Share your happy memories πŸ’•

The best way to multiply your happiness, is to share it with others.

Next time when you meet someone don’t ask them how they are doing and how was their day… Ask them – What’s good?

Things that happen when your bff gets engaged

So this is the thing about best friends – They are meant for each other. They are soulmates. They are there for each other when no one was. They are comfortable with each other and can be their craziest, weirdest self in front of each other. Everything goes well until……. One of them gets engaged!

Recently my bff got engaged.

And I was like…..

“Yeah okay…. She’s engaged, but we will still be there for each other. Our bond will be as good as it was.” At least that’s what I told myself.

Then reality hits hard.

When you plan to hangout with your bestie she replies – “Hey, I’m so sorry I can’t come. I’m on a date! I’ll tell you how it goes, okay bye!”

And you’re like – “Omg! This is happening for 7 times in a row now. This is the exact same person who called me when she forgot her Hall ticket on the examination day, when she got dumped by her boyfriend last year, when she is having arguments with her parents,…. Every single time I was there for her! I was her go-to person! Now you have to take her appointment to meet her????”

Earlier when you guys met, the topics would be planning trips, gossips, sharing progress about the projects we’re working on, interesting stuff you did this week and so on…

Now when you hangout – she talks about her boyfriend, and college and her boyfriend and the food and her boyfriend and his interests and… If nothing else… She calls him and they start talking

That’s one of those times when you look at her and think about how can you kill her….. (Just kidding… But not kidding :p)

Then comes a time when she tells you to click her pics…. With her boyfriend!

You shot her a mean look, which she ignores. As you click the pic, in your mind you are hitting her boyfriend for taking your place in her pics.

Then sometimes she drags you to buy gifts for him, you know the romantic cheesy stuff…

You actually don’t do anything, just try to control your urge to sleep and watch her as she selects gifts… And wonder what’s wrong with her!

When they have fights, you are the one who has to stay up whole night analysing the situation and figure out who’s wrong and in the end convince her that she deserves a better guy… :p but she doesn’t listen to you… As always… sigh*

When they get back together…it all starts again!

Ugh!!!

Then you start getting thoughts like ” I am the only one who’s left behind.. literally everyone around me is engaged (just your bestie, but you know she’s your world) Should I date Amit? I know he likes me.. but he’s too clingy… Then Vinay? No.. he’s good but he’s always busy! Umm… Rahul? Yeah.. he’s been my crush for a long time. But I don’t think we get along well, we are from totally different worlds! Besides he moved out of the city last year. How can I show her how it feels when she does all this torture to me when my boyfriend isn’t even in the city! Aahhhhh! It feels like love triangle. Except me and my best friend love each other and her boyfriend is messing around!πŸ˜‚”

*phone buzzes

Oh… A text from her –

“We broke up”

How I really feel – πŸ˜€

What I show – πŸ˜₯


So this was a fun write up I came up with! We have to do research this year in psychology and me and my friends were discussing about it and this came up!

How best friends behave when one of them gets engaged and the other person is left behind.

Like seriously, when you are the center of someone’s world and you feel good about it and then suddenly someone else comes up and takes your place just like that!

Research toh banta hai! :p

What do you think guys? I’m sure you must’ve been in this situation at some point. How did you feel? What did you do?

Share in the comments below!

Rain is not just a word…

“Ooooohhh…. It’s rainingggg!!!”

(q♑‿♑q)

I say this as I am in the terrace and watching rain. Billions of raindrops falling from the sky, thrumming on the roof.

I hear kids playing in the rain and singing the monsoon-special songs.

My heart leaps with joy. I feel a deep sense of calm and relief as I close my eyes, open my arms and feel the downpour.

It feels like everything is covered in a green blanket. I feel a cool breeze around that makes me wonder weather I am in heaven! With so much beauty surrounding me..

I can’t believe it’s here!

The season I waited for the whole year!

I cannot help but scream with joy. Does that sound silly? Or maybe childish? I don’t care.. I don’t care about anything when it rains. I just go all in and enjoy the beauty of nature that surrounds me.

I hear cuckoo chirping, somewhere on a tree.. even he must have been waiting eagerly for rain as I.

As I am stand there getting wet, mom calls in so that I don’t catch cold.

As I enter home I am longing for a cup of hot tea and some snacks.

In a while, me and Mom and busy cooking, as we hear the raindrops and smell the petrichor. Cooking feels different today, I am enjoying every single moment.

Sitting by the window with Mom, Dad and my small sister, drinking tea, eating snacks, chatting, laughing, feels like bliss.

As I get up to clean, I realise I’m never ever going to forget these days, where my family was smiling along with rain.

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