I feel lucky to have friends
Who help me reconnect with my friends and family
After arguments with them, when I loose my control
When I could’ve had friends
Who would fuel my anger flames
I have noticed one thing.
Every time I feel sad, lonely, gloomy
There this one thing that cheers me up like nothing
And those effects last longer
No not music… I mean it’s good… But when I’m actually pissed off I don’t really feel like listening to music because in my mind overthinking and overanalyzing is going on…
It does actually, it helps me escape the dreadful reality that’s in front of me…
But that’s just an escape (I do feel more calm and stable after reading though)
But there is one more thing
Love expressed through the verbal assurance (i love you) and indirectly (genuine caring, supportive conversations) and through actions (doing something beautiful for me)
I was feeling very low the other day
And I had a very meaningful, nice chat with my best friend
She listened to me, understood me and made me feel much better
That uplifted my mood, calmed me down and gave me the strength to get back up again
This incident made me reflect, every single time I’ve felt low or sad or been really stressed
All it took to cheer me up was kind words, genuine support, encouraging smile, warm hug, relaxing good time spent with people I love
Isn’t this what we all need to get back up, even more stronger this time?
What works the best for you?
Someone you can’t really get over.. someone your bff hates more than you..
Someone who knows all the troubles you’ve put yourself through.. Someone who’s always ready for a chaai and late night talks.. Someone who covers you from your parents
Someone who’s always supposed to pamper you..
Something that makes you do crazy stuff… Something that changes you from within..
A positive reinforcement for helping a friend or to make up for the mistakes you’ve done
The act of saying what’s not there and creating the illusion that you’re in relationship.. Sounds playful.. but many a times ends up in a fight
Someone who literally takes your breath away.. someone who magically makes you look stupid even when you’re looking your best
Lol. Never work
Feeling free to do anything… But you actually end up talking and sleeping
(P.S – at times spiced up with fun games that help you forget PUBG and last all night long)
Place where plans are made and arguments are solved and gossips are done and happiness is shared
An opportunity to do what you always wanted to.. An escape from reality you long for.…
Cozy seat beside window as it rains.. holding a cup of coffee and a fiction novel…
Walking hand in hand with your bff at night for an hour or two and talk about every damn thing on the planet..
Having someone to talk to.. just having someone to talk to….
What do you think guys? Don’t these words really mean something think this?😜
I met this guy online.
I read his blogs and more than his thoughts, I liked his writing style, the way he expressed himself.
We started talking, first through comments and then we exchanged numbers.
In few weeks we became really good friends. We could easily connect with each other.
But there was a problem –
He speaks English very well, but he cannot speak Hindi so well.
And let me tell you – I don’t speak English fluently. It’s different while writing blogs, you get time to think and edit.
But I don’t have much experience of speaking in English. All my friends understand Hindi and Marathi. So you see… I don’t have that much opportunity to speak English in my daily life.
So when he offered to talk on call, I was really scared!😨
(What will he think of me when he realises I cannot speak fluently in English? would he continue to talk to me? I don’t want to loose his friendship.. Shit! I should’ve practiced this.. How can I be so dumb?! I am clearly not enough, I am ashamed of myself )
I couldn’t figure out what to do. But I decided I should be honest with him and let him see my flaws.
It was hard. I thought I might loose him, loose our friendship.
But I made a choice. I had two options – Be fake and hide and continue with him or Be authentic and vulnerable and risk loosing him.
I chose the second option.
Finally, we talked on call, I told him I’m not so good at speaking English.. and to my surprise… he understood me and didn’t belittle me
(Actually I thought he was a nice guy and had this feeling that he won’t judge me.. turns out.. I was right!)
I did most of the talk in Hindi, I told him I’m comfortable with it and he said he understood Hindi. He replied in English. That was weird actually… Haha…
But that was a really fun conversation! We spoke many times after that and now I’m practicing speaking in English with him and he’s trying to improve his Hindi with me.
Now he could have judged me for not speaking well in English and made himself feel good…. But he didn’t. He understood what it meant to not be able to speak a language fluently (as he had problems with Hindi)
So instead of making me feel bad about myself, he chose to be vulnerable about his flaws and lent me a helping hand.
Why I chose to share this?
Well I am reading a book of Bernè Brown, she’s a shame and vulnerability researcher.
And this incident resonated with what she had shared…
The solution to being stuck in shame is not to denigrate others stuck just like us, but to join hands and pull free together.
He literally did this for me. Not being able to speak a widely used language brings shame, but it can be overthrown if we share our own story and support each other.
If we’re going to find our way out of shame and back to each other, vulnerability is the path and courage is the light.
– Bernè Brown
Okay, so this wasn’t example of extreme shame and distress, but you get the point.
That’s more important! 🙂