One simple thing you can do right now to improve your life

Believe it or not, the company you keep matters. A lot.

If you’re constantly surrounded by pessimistic people, guess what, after a while even you start imitating them. This happens, unless you try very very hard to stay optimistic because negative behaviours can be learnt quickly.

There’s this concept of mirroring in psychology.

Where you learn or imitate the behaviour of people around you knowingly or unknowingly.

How can you use this to your advantage?

Well, it’s simple!

Be in company of people who inspire you, who support your growth and who guide you in the right direction, who trust you and bring out the best in you.

Now as they say –

You’re the average of five people you spend most of your time with

I’ll tell you which of the five people you should surround yourself with –

1. Be with people around whom you feel loved and valued.

This can be your parents, or your friends or your partner. Anyone with whom you feel loved and valued.

2. Be with someone who makes you laugh and enjoy little things. Someone who makes you smile and appreciates you.

This can be your sibling or your best friend.

3. Be with someone who trusts you and whom you can trust. No matter what, you know you guys have got each other’s back.

(Now speaking of these qualities, you might know at least one person with whom these qualities resonate. Someone who makes you smile, some other person whom you can trust completely, someone else who makes you feel loved, etc.)

4. Be with someone who inspires you and motivates you and brings out the best in you.

Okay so this person can be hard to find.

But let me tell you, it’s not necessary that these people should be someone you know personally or have met them. They can also be your role models.

Someone you look up to. Someone who you want to be like. Someone you deeply admire.

Now even if you surround yourself with the ideas, the principles, the values these people have implemented in their life, it works. You slowly start thinking like them, you try to imitate their principles in your own life.

And believe me, that improves your life!

Imagine you’re constantly watching everything about Oprah Winfrey, Swami Vivekananda, or Gary Vee (let’s say they are your role models) So you are watching many videos of them on YouTube, you’re watching their shows. You are reading about them, reading their books.

What will happen after some time?

Your thinking patterns will change, your attitude changes, your perception about things change, you start acting differently, you start growing.

5. Be with someone who can guide you in the right direction in difficult times.

This can be your “therapist” friend, a mentor or a actual therapist. Someone who helps you gain clarity about situations and helps you take the right decision.

I don’t know how many people will agree with me, but I’ve found books to guide me as well. Self help books and even some fantasy novels have great messages. I could relate to those characters and understand their life.

These people help you understand certain things, especially when you need it the most.

Be careful about whom you choose as this person because when you are sad, depressed or angry, it’s very easy for a wrong person to drag you into a wrong behaviour.


I have found this to work in my personal life.

The moment I started focusing on myself and setting healthy boundaries and surrounding myself with people who bring out the best in me, I’ve seen myself change in a very good way.

When I started reading more about inspiring people, gathering more information about them and started applying their tips for success, I felt great!

I felt like I’m learning from them and slowly applying that in my own life and seeing the results.

I also started choosing whom to spend most of my time with and I found I was much happier and satisfied with my life than before.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not telling you to be picky and only choose the people whom you can benefit from, no! It’s good to have connection with different people, it’s nice to have them as your friends.

But, prioritise your time for those who really help you grow, who really matter. Because you have limited time.


Moral of the story – The company you keep matters. Choose the right people and see the drastic and quick improvement in your life.


Who are your role models? Do you “spend” more time with them? Do you feel the change in your mindset and actions?

Let me know in the comments below!!

Thank you for reading guys!❤️


Keep shining, keep smiling! 🙂

©Vrunda Chauk 2019


Note to self – 1 (Valuing Time)

Many a times there are situations when I realise I don’t have enough time to do something important. (That’s because I wasted the time I had doing unimportant things 😜)

When I realise I’ve been using my time for pleasure and ignoring the important tasks at hand, I realise –

Here’s a question I need to ask myself –

Am I using my time wisely?

Here’s what I’d like to tell myself :-

Dear self,

I need to be more careful about how I spend my time.

I will make sure in a day I have enough time to spend with my close ones and have enough time to complete my important work.

I choose to spend my leisure time resting (giving my body and mind ease) or pursuing a hobby.

I am making a list of important tasks to complete. I am setting deadlines for myself and keeping a record of my progress.

I know I will get everything done if I break it down into simple steps and follow them every day.

Wishing you a productive week ahead

With love,

Me


This is a new series that I’ve started. Where I’ll be sharing some Notes to Self according to different situations.

In psychology we’re taught that the self talk we have, how we talk with ourselves, the stories we tell ourselves matters a lot!

So this is my effort to have a healthy self talk and I really hope you guys find it useful.

Let me know your thoughts

Thank you for your visit!

Happy Sunday! 🙂

Affirmations you need

Watch your thoughts for they become your words,

Watch your words for they become actions,

Watch your actions for they become habit,

Watch your habits for they become character.

Margaret Thatcher

This is so true. It all starts with your thoughts. Your mindset.

I started practicing Affirmations recently and I’ve discovered they really help to keep me in the right frame of mind. They help me keep the right mindset in different situations.

I discovered the Instagram account of Idil Ahmed – @Idillionaire

I really liked her her quotes and I find myself reading them when I doubt myself or when I don’t feel certain about anything. She reminds me that everything will work out just fine and my perspective shifts.

Here are some of my favourite quotes by her that I’d like to share –

Mentally picture yourself, radiant, strong, successful, happy, full of joy and full of life. See yourself moving upwards. Leave behind the darkness and confusion into an increasing brightness and loveliness. See yourself as growing, progressing, winning at everything you do.

– Idil Ahmed

.

Change your language to “What if it does work out”.

Believe in possibilities. Think about the best case scenario. Retraining your mind will lift you higher out of the overthinking, stress and worry of negative habitual thoughts. Change starts with your mindset. Shift it. Switch it.

– Idil Ahmed

Imagining this feels wonderful right?

Sooo, speaking of mindset, I practice different affirmations at different times to help me get into right mindset and to rise above overthinking and stuff.

I’ll be sharing some affirmations you can practice in different situations, hope you find them helpful.

Note – All these affirmations are by Louise Hay.

When you are feeling low. When you need to accept yourself and realise your worth –

When you need some positivity. Imagining that I am a joyful breeze entering a room makes me giggle. Makes me feel good and happy.

When I start overthinking. Telling myself that I’m breaking free from those fears and doubts and releasing them makes me feel good and positive –

When I start getting “not so good” experiences in life. Telling myself that they are helping me grow and evolve shifts my perspective and brings clarity in my thoughts –

When I am worried about money, it feels good to remind and affirm to myself that there is abundant wealth for me, it’s all working out for me –

This is actually a gentle reminder to be grateful and joyful throughout the day. The thought of my day starting and ending in joy and gratitude feels awesome.

When you get overwhelmed by all the new changes in your life it would be great to remind yourself that you are capable of dealing with all this. You are welcoming change –

When you don’t know whom to trust, what decision to make, try believing that everything you need to know is revealed to you. Trust your intuition –

Love is in the air – 😍 Feeling every word of this affirmation is so great

This could be a reminder that you need to make sufficient time for work and play in order to live well.

Do you practice affirmations? Does this sound helpful?

Please share in the comments below!!

Thank you so much for being here❤️ Have a blessed day friends✨😇

What’s next? Nah. I enjoy what’s now.

Everyone these days is waiting for something. Everyone is expecting something new, something different to happen.

We have gotten into the habit of asking ‘What’s next?’ , What’s the next big thing you want? What’s the next big thing you are waiting for?

It’s something like – when we’re children, we want to grow up. When we grow up, we want to become child again.

I mean we want some things to change, but when they do, we want to go back again.

This happens a lottt (hating your present and wishing it were different).

When you are single you wish you were engaged with someone, when you are, you again wish to be single.

When you are not earning you wish for the time you would, when the time comes, you wish to get out of it.

When you are in school you are excited about your college life. When you start going to college, you miss school.

When you are at home, you wish to step out and live on your own, when the time comes, you long for the warmth of your home.

Soo, instead of expecting something different – Why don’t we cherish our present moment?

If you do not enjoy a moment, you lose it forever. If you enjoy it, it is yours forever.

-Debasish Mridha

Don’t you think we should stop waiting for the next big thing and start enjoying our life moment to moment?

And when you start living the present moment, believe me you will find so many things that are beautiful right now. So much to appreciate. So much to notice. So much to feel.

As I write this – I’m at my home. There won’t be any lectures in college today. So am I waiting for the time when I’ll go to college and meet my friends? No. (i mean of course i want to meet them but i have decided to enjoy the present moment) When I’m at home I want to spend some time with my parents. I want to feel the moments when they are with me, we all are living together, I get to see them everyday. I want to notice the way they smile, I want to remember their voice when they say my name.

I want to enjoy time with my little sister. I want to make her laugh, I want to paint with her, play with her, sing and dance with her, watch her grow.

Because I know – This time won’t come back.

I choose to live it fully. I choose to feel the moments with my loved ones. I choose to stay in present.

Above all, we cannot afford not to live in the present. He is blessed over all mortals who loses no moment of the passing life in remembering the past.

– Henry David Thoreau

Look around you, everything that you see can change in a year.

Are there some people you want to spend more time with?

Are there some things you want to do for them?

Are there some plans you need to execute?

Are there any trips you want to plan?

Is there someone whom you want to remind of how loved he/she is?

Is there anything you need to do for yourself?

You better do it Right Now, because you haven’t seen tomorrow.

Rejoicing in ordinary things is not sentimental or trite. It actually takes guts.

– Pema Chodron

Even when you step into sunshine in winter. Close your eyes and feel it’s warmth. Feel that’s it’s 2019. This day will never come back. Open your eyes and notice the surroundings, do you find beauty? Smile at your friends and enjoy your time with them.

Many people are alive, but don’t touch the miracle of being alive.

– Thich Nath Hanh

There’s this beautiful poem I’d like to share –

Live In The Moment

Listen, feel, love completely;
Absorb, enjoy oh so sweetly.
Nothing exists but right now.
Show the world you know how.

Immersed, focused, involved;
Sad moments will be resolved
Just as joyous times go fast,
Sad’s shadow will lose its cast.

It’s but a moment all will live,
So leave an imprint that will give
Your signature on the past
So your moments now will last.

Gregory Huyette

Psych fest in college

This week we had psychology fest in our college. Anddd to my pleasant surprise the topic was – Positive psychology!

It was focused on choti choti khushiyan. i.eHappiness in little things.

We learnt a lot in detail about happiness and other positive psychology concepts and had fun.

There was also a session on gratitude. They talked about expressing gratitude in our Indian culture.

Expressing gratitude is not so common in our culture. I mean we don’t go on saying thank you to our mom and dad everytime they do something good for us.

Its understood that our mom dad are going to take care of us and we love them, they love us.

If you try to say thank you to your mom dad for something they’ve done for you, they’ll probably say something like – Usme kaunsi badi baat hai?

Our ma’am shared her experience. When her husband was out of station and she had to look after her kids on her own, she realised how tough it is. She realised that her mom must’ve went through the same struggle to raise her and her brother. She felt truly grateful for everything her mom had done for her and she called her at night. (just to say a big thank you)

Her mom heard what she had to say and said – Teri tabiyat toh thik hai na? Itni raat ko kyu jaag rahi hai? ja so ja.

😄Happens.

I heard another incident.

This lady was a single mother. She worked and looked after her little daughter. Whenever she came home from office her daughter used to run and hug her and tell her how much she loved her. Every day she unknowingly waited for this moment.

One day her mom came to stay with them. She felt really good whenever her mom came to stay with them as she would take care of the household chores and reduce the burden on her shoulders.

After some days she realised that her mother was helping her so much, but as her daughter expressed her love every day, she didn’t express her gratitude to her mom.

One day she decided to tell her mom how much she meant to her. She rehearsed everything she was about to say.

Next morning at breakfast table she was planning to say it. But then she realised this might sound artificial or wierd and so she left that day without saying anything.

That day she was thinking about it every moment and felt guilty for not saying.

Next day, she decided to express her gratitude no matter what.

Next morning she told her mother how much she meant to her. How much she valued her presence in her life, how grateful she was to her by her side.

Her mom said nothing.

She left for work. This time she felt light. She had finally expressed her gratitude.

That day when she came home in the evening she saw her mom was cooking (as usual) but there was something unusual – She was humming a tune while she was cooking. 🙂

These heartfelt words touch our heart somewhere deep down.

So guys I want to tell you – Expressing gratitude might seem a bit weird or unusual – but say what you feel. Tell them how much they mean to you. How happy and blessed you feel to have them in your life.

They may not react in a way you expected but you will feel light and these words will touch their heart. And honestly – It’s so beautiful to express our love to our loved ones while we have them with us.

Tell them how much they mean to you. Express your love and gratitude. Especially to your parents, because it’s most likely that their efforts while raising us go unnoticed.

Do you have any such memory? Where you expressed your gratitude and felt good? When someone else expressed their gratitude towards you – how did you feel?

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