Spaces in your togetherness

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

– Khalil Gibran

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I’ve been reading a lot of Khalil Gibran’s poems these days. Can’t help but share them with you guys here. In this particular poem he talks about how lovers need to be together while maintaining their individual identity.

There’s this concept in psychology called “differentiation”. This was introduced by psychiatrist and family therapist Murray Bowen. The concept of differentiation includes two aspects – 1. The ability to seperate one’s feelings from thoughts. 2. The ability to maintain one’s thoughts and feelings in the presence and pressure of close, intimate relationships.

I love how beautifully this poem talks about the same. Being together while maintaining our individual identity.