The “honest” resume

Okay soo… These days I was working on my resume and I realised something very obvious – the resumes should be called – Liars with degrees.

I mean I understand that resumes are important and they are a collection of all our experiences and skills and blah blah blah…. But hear me out. Resumes are not 100% honest. Many people lie about manyyy different things just to get that job. And to those people I just want to say… “I feel ya bruh!” I know it’s pretty hard getting jobs in these difficult times where we are required to have 10+ years of experience for almost everything. We are required to do so many courses! All at once. And to be honest this puts a lot of pressure on the freshers.

So, to lighten the pressure and to tell you how my honest resume would look like.. I am writing this post. Because I think resumes can’t always be goody goody I mean people are flawed so the resumes should also be.

Anyway

The trickiest part of any resume is the skills section. So if I’d have been working as a coder or artist, maybe I could have thought of a few skills I possess. (Skilled at Java for example.) But I am a psychologist, people. I don’t know what kind of “skills” am I supposed to put up there.

Do I say I am a good listener? With a p.s note that says – after a while I get tired of listening and my thoughts start drifting away? (And then if you ask me anything I’d say – lollipop. Clearly you lost me a long time ago.)

Or should I say I am good at research? When I have just done one research and I get stuck at the part where I have to find subjects for my research, when I am not so good at convincing people to do what I tell them to do.

Or should I say I am good at problem solving? Hahahahahah….. Sorry but that’s a big joke! I remember yesterday I called my senior just because I made small little mistake and shared a file as word doc when I was supposed to share a pdf to my boss. (She told me it was nothing to worry about and I can send another mail and he won’t be mad). Talk about being good at problem solving! You know what, I should just put my skill as a problem magnifier!! That sounds right.

Also I cannot put my skill as overthinking, but that’s what I do most of the times. But then it’s not something that would get me a job right? If anything that would get me fired with a note that says – She overthinks a lot. She has good ideas but she thinks and thinks and thinks a lot and in the end the ideas only remain an idea. Which would never get me another job anywhere and I would be unemployed for the rest of my life and then I cannot have good food and fancy clothes I desire also not to mention a trip to California Disneyland would also be out of sight. So clearly I am not putting that as well.

Also I cannot say I am good at time management, when I get late for almost every important event. They will figure out I was lying in no time when I am late for the interview itself!

So that’s the thing.

Its hard for resumes to be honest and good at the same time. So it’s better they are good. No one wants honest resumes anyways. Boasting is a skill necessary to make a good resume. ( Which explains why I will never make a good one, but okay.)

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This was a funnn article and I hope you enjoyed reading. Also if anyone of you might think of hiring me in future, please just forget that you ever read this article and believe everything I’ve written in my resume. Because it’s true! 🙂