These days it’s hard to be Positive about certain things. I do not know how everything is going to work out and whether or not it will.
I do not want to be positive. Not right now. Not when things are going wrong all around me.
Every day looks like the one before. There aren’t many new exciting things going on. I am scared and nervous about the future. I have no clear idea or plan as to what needs to be done. I am just… going with the flow.
There are these days when things are not going right with you and then if someone says “why are you being so negative? Just be positive!” Even though they mean well and you know it, you still have punched them in the face… In your imagination! Of course, I cannot do it in reality.
“be positive” is such a dumb advice. I mean seriously… What does that even mean? Ignore all the problems going around and pretend everything is okay? I don’t get it.
Those of you who think this article is going to be pretty negative and a mood spoiler, feel free to go back and read something else. This is real for me. If I can be the kind and good person that I am most of the times, I can be this mess as well.
So I was thinking about the advice “be positive” and was wondering what else can we replace that with?
First thing that I can be is compassionate. Extend kindness towards myself. Its not self pity or something. Its about not being harsh with ourself that we are most of the times. It is about being kind towards ourself, treating ourself as we would to a friend going through the same situation.
I can be compassionate towards myself, yes. I know that I am not the only one suffering and I can wish all of us healing. Instead of using this moment as a reason to disconnect from everyone I can use it as a way to feel empathetic for everyone around me going through the same thing and wish that we all heal together.
This feels good actually. Feels like you are not alone. And this feeling that you are not alone is soothing.
I can also seek support. I can talk to my close ones about what I am feeling and (stop them before they say “be positive”) try to do some activity together.
Like playing a game of cards, or board games or just talking at night, or having a pizza and a movie night.
Feeling connected with others really helps me. So does talking about what I am feeling. And if no one is available, writing down about how I feel also helps.
I can also listen to music and read good books or watch feel good movies. Orrrr….. Sleep! Its like how you switch off mobile, you switch off yourself from all the problems you are currently facing. And when you wake up, mostly that irritable feeling is gone. You don’t know why you were so upset last night and even if you remember, just look at that situation from a different perspective.
That does help me.
Okay so now I need to run, I have to prepare for the WFH setup. But this is the synopsis of this article – You don’t always need to be positive. Its okay to be negative at times, its okay to cry. Its okay to not be okay. Just remember there is always a healthier approch you can select. And when you are ready, choose something that will be good for you in the moment and in the long run. Please remind yourself that this too shall pass. You all are doing great! Sending lots of love and hugs to you all!