I remember the first day of school, I didn’t want to go. My parents told me that it’s for my own betterment. I have to study hard, get good marks and then every thing will be fine, I will be happy.

In primary school, I wasn’t much interested in schoolwork, sports caught my attention. I loved playing sports, I was the football champion. When I played football I used to loose track of time, I enjoyed perfecting every move and was getting better at it. Even our sports Sir, Mr. Amit encouraged me to pursue this passion further. How happy I was when I played football!

Then it started to bother my parents. They wanted a “secure” future for me. And football is not cricket in India. Even if there were any opportunities, my parents were unaware of them and they forced me to focus on my studies.

I remember asking my mom one day “but why do I have to study when playing football makes me happy?”

Mom replied “it’s for the long term happiness beta.. it’s for your future, your life ahead. You have to study hard, get a good job in a company and everything will be fine. You will be happy”

That day I realised maybe the kind of happiness we have to pursue is the one that is in future. Maybe all my life I need to sacrifice immediate pleasures for future happiness.

After that I started taking my studies seriously, it was hard in the beginning. I didn’t enjoy it one bit. But soon I got comfortable with the rat race. I started spending most of my time studying and eventually stopped going onto the field.

I used to get recognition and praise when I got first rank from family members and some of my friends. Was I happy? Nope. I struggled hard and remember missing out on little joys in life. Like playing football, trekking with my friends, going to my friend’s party. I missed out on this and more.

In highschool I thought maybe now I will be happy. But I was wrong. I had developed a liking of history. I loved those stories of faraway lands and brave warriors and huge empires. It was interesting.

But in highschool, I couldn’t select history as my subject, coz it had nothing to do with the corporate job I was aiming at. Once again I gave up my interest for future happiness.

In highschool I made some really good friends. All of them were quite ambitious. And I wanted to be like them. I wanted to blend in the group. I eventually started comparing myself with them. They were going to various competitions, hustling hard and getting better with every move. I tried to do the same, but I couldn’t keep up at all times. I started feeling bad about myself. It was that time when everyone around me was achieving great things, doing something creative and I didn’t really feel like doing any of those things. Still I kept going. There were days when I didn’t want to get out of bed. But I didn’t give up.

After completing my education, I got a good job with good salary. I was really happy that day. I got married in few months and thought maybe now I can be happy. But things didn’t quite turn out as planned. I started hating my job. Every day felt the same. No joy. Nothing good to hold on to. I started living the mechanical life, like a robot. I didn’t even knew what made me happy anymore. I didn’t feel like going to work every day. That made me weak. There was no meaning, no purpose, no happiness in my life. I wanted things to get better. I wanted happiness right now. I couldn’t think straight. I had already suffered enough. Then I started drinking with my friends. After a while since I could find no happiness and no pleasure in my life I liked the feeling alcohol gave me. Inside I was feeling empty. I don’t know why I did what I did from childhood till now. And now I feel stuck.

P.S – guys its a purely fictional story to illustrate my point. It’s not about me or anyone I know.

8 thoughts on “Rat race

  1. Story of perhaps 99.9% people in India. 0.1% I am yet to meet. Completed 12th this year and all I feel is that, since the last few years I have done nothing except pursuing good marks. And I’m scared for the life ahead. Again same entrance exams, exams in college bla bleh.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can totally understand Ayush. It was my story too until a year ago. I’ve seen many of my friends with the same situation. It seems like a never ending loop.. but we can stop it if we find the right thing to do. I hope you find that soon 🙂
      Best wishes for your future life 💙💙

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Good luck Ayush!
        You’ve time.. Just keep looking and try different things.. all that sparks your interest, try. That’s how I found my passion.❤️


  2. I can relate to what you have gone through because it is the same situation I am in. At least you know what you like. In your case it was football but I was aimless. I don’t know what to do. This is the worst thing in life when you don’t know what to do in life. Now, when I go for job, I feel like I am just surviving not living the life. You can’t become successful unless you enjoy the work you do and the work you do makes you happy and give satisfaction. The biggest agony in life is not to live life of your choice.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow, this was deep and tbh never expected something like this coming from your mind. You are growing up Vrunda. 😅 Coming back to the story, I think this is happening because we humans have converted this world in such a way that getting into the rat race seems the only option to survive. And why not because even though it doesn’t bring happiness, it gives the feeling of security. Now, it is another part of debate that getting a job is easy or not. But yes this is how life comes at you. If you are in a situation where you could take the risk then you should definitely try to avoid rat race. But again, not all have that liberty and rat race becomes inevitable. Very good read and it felt like a much needed alert. 🤘👍

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s