“I’ve been there too..”

I met this guy online.

I read his blogs and more than his thoughts, I liked his writing style, the way he expressed himself.

We started talking, first through comments and then we exchanged numbers.

In few weeks we became really good friends. We could easily connect with each other.

But there was a problem –

He speaks English very well, but he cannot speak Hindi so well.

And let me tell you – I don’t speak English fluently. It’s different while writing blogs, you get time to think and edit.

But I don’t have much experience of speaking in English. All my friends understand Hindi and Marathi. So you see… I don’t have that much opportunity to speak English in my daily life.

So when he offered to talk on call, I was really scared!😨

(What will he think of me when he realises I cannot speak fluently in English? would he continue to talk to me? I don’t want to loose his friendship.. Shit! I should’ve practiced this.. How can I be so dumb?! I am clearly not enough, I am ashamed of myself )

I couldn’t figure out what to do. But I decided I should be honest with him and let him see my flaws.

It was hard. I thought I might loose him, loose our friendship.

But I made a choice. I had two options – Be fake and hide and continue with him or Be authentic and vulnerable and risk loosing him.

I chose the second option.

Finally, we talked on call, I told him I’m not so good at speaking English.. and to my surprise… he understood me and didn’t belittle me

(Actually I thought he was a nice guy and had this feeling that he won’t judge me.. turns out.. I was right!)

I did most of the talk in Hindi, I told him I’m comfortable with it and he said he understood Hindi. He replied in English. That was weird actually… Haha…

But that was a really fun conversation! We spoke many times after that and now I’m practicing speaking in English with him and he’s trying to improve his Hindi with me.

Now he could have judged me for not speaking well in English and made himself feel good…. But he didn’t. He understood what it meant to not be able to speak a language fluently (as he had problems with Hindi)

So instead of making me feel bad about myself, he chose to be vulnerable about his flaws and lent me a helping hand.

Why I chose to share this?

Well I am reading a book of Bernè Brown, she’s a shame and vulnerability researcher.

And this incident resonated with what she had shared…

The solution to being stuck in shame is not to denigrate others stuck just like us, but to join hands and pull free together.

-Berne Brown

He literally did this for me. Not being able to speak a widely used language brings shame, but it can be overthrown if we share our own story and support each other.

If we’re going to find our way out of shame and back to each other, vulnerability is the path and courage is the light.

– Bernè Brown

Okay, so this wasn’t example of extreme shame and distress, but you get the point.

That’s more important! 🙂

46 thoughts on ““I’ve been there too..”

  1. Too good. You are sounding very similar to me. I am pretty good in my native language Tamil and English, but only so-so in hindi but I lived in North for several years. I could understand the hindi language really well but when it comes to speak it would be Topsy turvy but the people around me were so warm hearted to tolerate my “hinglish” never ridiculed me even once having understood my intentions to communicate. I picked up the language quite well though after some time. Thank you for bringing me back those memories for some time. The 5 years I spent in Indirapuram Ghaziabad Uttar Pradesh were really unforgettable!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Wow! Thank you for sharing this Rajini! I am so happy the people around you were warm hearted and didn’t ridicule you.. that must’ve given you more confidence right? Feels really great when others understand you and support your efforts.😊

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh nice! I can understand how it feels like. I also cannot talk too fluently in English but that’s ok. The guy is great and we should all learn from him🤗

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Yess!! And I could totally relate with what you feel. We can do really better when we support and help each other ♥️
      Thank you for your kind words😊💕
      Happy Sunday ❣️

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I am also not that confident about my English speaking..when we are writing that’s another thing but while having face to face conversation usually I panick and the fear of being judged always stuck in the mind.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I can feel you girl! Especially that moment when we panic that brings a lot of discomfort. And stuttering in front of your friend or someone you admire can be really embarrassing. But it feels so awesome when someone supports your efforts like this and helps you learn..
      And speaking a language really needs practice..
      Anyway, we’re learning!🙌
      Thank you for sharing with me Lavanya!!♥️

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank youuu Savio! Means a lot to hear this from you!😊
      I’d have shared the link to his blog if I wanted to disclose his name…so clearly I don’t want to tell😂

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I could so very resonate with this. While writing, we have so much time to read. But even I can’t speak english, it’s just that I’m afraid. I can’t even speak my own language sometimes because I’m just scared. I don’t know why. But this post really helped me understand that people who let you improve do exist. 🙏🙏😀

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I can understand Sid.. it’s like you get scared and then you couldn’t speak properly and that creates more anxiety! Been there.. done that..
      But yes.. such people do exist for sure! And being around such people and learning with them is really something… You do much better when you’re with someone who trusts you n doesn’t judge you..
      Otherwise.. it’s very embarrassing to stutter in front of a friend or someone you admire..
      But some people just lift you up❤️

      Liked by 2 people

  5. It happens and I have been there too. And believe me girl, no country is taking English that much seriously than India. 😉 English is just a language and if someone judge you over your English speaking skills, I hope you start talking in Marathi and make them walk away. (Take it on lighter note.) And yeah, it feels good to find a friend in blogger. Wish you a nice journey of friendship ahead. Good day. 😀

    Liked by 5 people

    1. 😂😂😂
      I agree with that.. no country takes English much seriously than India!
      Thank you for your kind words as always Pratik!🙏😊 It’s fun interacting with you!
      Have a great day ahead ♥️

      Liked by 3 people

  6. Thank you so much for stopping by my blog as it allows to have a look on your wonderful blog. I feel few things are beyond language barriers, all you need is to understand each other with any medium of exchanging interaction.
    Have a great day ahead!

    Liked by 1 person

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