As I step into my twenties I realise…. (Oh my!!!!! I am a grown up now!! Does this mean I cannot act like a kid anymore??? I remember it as yesterday when I called my mum to ask where the grocery shop is.. Oh wait! Maybe that really happened yesterday 😂)
Sooo, as you see I’ve (technically) grown up and now I’m going to tell you what I’ve learnt through my teenage.
I wanted this post to have a ‘formal’ start… But anyway… It’s the real me that I’ll be sharing in this post so yeah… I guess goofing around is fine..
Here’s what I’ve learnt –
Life is changing constantly and you need to adapt and be okay with it.
Nothing is permanent. We all have felt that moment when we were like – this is it! This is my life and these are the people I want to spend it with.
Here’s the truth – It doesn’t happen so always. And that’s okay.
The people you are currently with may not be with you forever and that’s okay.
Enjoy your time with them. Live your life. Make memories. Have fun. Cherish eachother. Don’t expect this to last forever.
People come and go. If they leave it doesn’t mean they are bad or you are at fault – it just means that their chapter in your life is over.
As some people leave, others will enter your life too. They may not be able to replace the people earlier but that’s okay.
Different people teach you different things, give you different memories and make your life beautiful.
They add colours to your blank canvas of life. Every colour may not be beautiful, but the final painting will be.
I lost touch with my best friend from school last year. We were so close and suddenly that bond we had wasn’t as strong as before. It wasn’t her fault, it wasn’t mine either. It’s just that we changed. Our needs were different. Our mindsets were different. I felt terrible after loosing contact with her, but I understood (eventually) that it was time for us to go where we feel connected and comfortable. I guess that’s how life works. People come and go. Things change. You change.
Last year even a wonderful person entered my life. She is the perfect elder sister you could have – Caring, pampering, kind, supportive and understanding. I feel so blessed to have her in my life. We aren’t real sisters but I feel connected to her. And she didn’t replace my high school bestie, I admire both of them and they both have a special place in my heart.
So you see – It changes. Be okay with that. You change. Life goes on. Stay hopeful.
And if you’re someone promising ‘forevers’ well that’s good – try your best to make it work but if it doesn’t, let go.
My life doesn’t have to look like my friend’s and vice versa.
You won’t always get the beautiful thing your friends have but that doesn’t mean you won’t get anything beautiful.
Some of my friends go to pub, bar, go on vacations frequently and I don’t get to experience that. But that’s okay – it doesn’t mean I am not happy or I don’t have what I need.
My life doesn’t need to look like theirs. Your life and your experiences are beautiful and unique in their own way.
Thinking that – If I get a car of my own (like my friend has) I’ll be happy, doesn’t work.
You might feel like the glamorous life is beautiful and exciting and fun and that may be true. But that doesn’t mean your life is any less beautiful and exciting and fun.
It’s natural to want something better but remember your happiness doesn’t need to depend on that. What you have is also beautiful.
If you haven’t done anything great yet, it doesn’t mean you don’t have the ability to.
There was a time when I thought I won’t be able to do anything worthwhile in life. Everyone around me was making constant progress and I felt like I couldn’t make it as fast as them. I felt like I couldn’t do anything great because I haven’t done anything special like they have.
We often confuse ability with results. If you do something great that means you’re capable, worthy. If you don’t you aren’t.
It’s like saying that if that if a crocodile didn’t bite you yet, it doesn’t have the ability to do so.
You are able to go after your dreams and get it done. Don’t get overwhelmed. Start with one small step at a time in the right direction.
Speaking kindly to yourself helps a lot.
There will come many times in your life when you feel utterly stressed and depressed, at that time being harsh on yourself will only increase the friction, the conflict. You need to be give yourself ease. Be gentle and kind to yourself.
You don’t pour petrol when there’s fire burning, you need to calm it by water.
Practicing self compassion during hard times gave me the strength to go on. To keep moving.
It is also something that made me fell in love with myself and appreciate myself.
If you feel something it doesn’t mean you are that.
There are times when you feel worthless, lonely, stupid – but that doesn’t mean you actually are worthless, lonely or stupid.
Feelings come and go. You don’t need to hold on to every feeling and expect it to be true. Everything you feel isn’t true.
Learn to expect from yourself
There are times when I expect a lot from my parents and friends. That’s not wrong I guess – but I’ve realised that it’s better to expect from me than anyone else. That way I’m kinda sure that at least I’m making efforts to fulfill my expectations.
If your parents don’t give you what you’ve expected then just let go of it, I mean they’re doing the best they can to give you everything. If they can’t or don’t want to offer you something, bet on yourself.
If you truly want something try to get it yourself.
If you see something good in someone, tell them.
I honestly feel so good when someone appreciates something I’ve done. I want to give that feeling to others as well.
If you admire something about someone tell them, they will feel good and feel motivated to continue the behaviour.
It just takes a minute to tell them but that memory may last much longer.
If someone does something good for you, express your gratitude. It strengthens relationships.
Stay open-minded to new concepts and ideas.
There was a time when I firmly believed in everything science proved. I mean I still believe in everything science proves.. but at that time I had a fixed mindset that everything science proves is true and things that are not proven do not exist.
I firmly believed that there are no “signs” from universe – Things just happen. It’s just a coincidence and there is no hidden meaning to it.
My best friend loves talking about universe and the “signs” from universe. And I’m like – What nonsense! It doesn’t mean anything, it doesn’t happen that way.
Even when she told me about her experiences, I said “It’s a coincidence”.
She’d get hurt but wouldn’t push me further.
I saw myself being rude to her when this topic came up. I wanted her to accept what I think is true and she wanted me to accept what she felt true.
Slowly I started realising that I was restricting my mind. I was so stuck with my firm beliefs that I wasn’t looking at other possibilities.
I wasn’t ready to unlearn and relearn my beliefs. The problem was not whether or not I believed in signs of universe the problem was that I wasn’t ready to accept that this can be true. I shut my mind to all possibilities.
Here’s what I realised –
• I wasn’t ready to accept new possibilities.
• I mixed the word ‘my’ with beliefs.
There’s a difference when you say – “It’s MY belief, MY thought” and “I think it’s true, I have found this to be true”
When you say it’s MY thought, you will not like when someone says something contradictory. Because someone is attacking what is “yours”. You will try to defend yourself instead to understanding what the person has to say.
• Even if I have believed something for a long time, I have the freedom to change my belief. I can change what has “Always been this way” just because I find something new, better. I am allowed to change.
• Trying to be the same person you were years ago is not necessary. It’s okay (and necessary) to grow. Be open to different ideas, mindsets and concepts. They may or may not be true – But be open and look objectively. You will discover many different things.
Sooo… This is it! This is what I’ve learnt in my teenage. What have you learnt in yours? What would you like to tell your teenage self?
Please share in the comments below!!!
Thank you for being here. Hope you all have a fantastic weekend!!💖💖💖